Pros Novel Read-Along - Painted Angels by Angelfish - Chapter Five

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

At last!

Painted Angels by Angelfish.
Cover art by firlefanzine

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

There has been a bomb explosion, and like the other emergency services, Bodie and Doyle, now working together as a team, responded. On arrival, however, Doyle remained by the car, too scared to go any further, while Bodie ran straight into the cloud of smoke to help.

Eventually Doyle screws up his courage and joins Bodie, who is assessing what seems to be a detonator. Doyle recognises it as a specific Irish terrorist group, and Bodie immediately knows who he's talking about. They realise that there's a second device nearby, ready to go off when the emergency services have arrived. They find it, and Doyle uses his penknife to cut the wires - a mad guess between red or blue, because it could be either - and saves the situation.

Even as they're laughing in relief, however, one of the first bomb's victims staggers into them and collapses. They're badly burned and blinded, and asking for Richard. Bodie recoils but Doyle pretends to be Richard as comfort as the man dies in his arms.

The next thing Doyle knows is that he's sitting on a wall outside a church with Bodie, though he can't remember getting there. Bodie is rubbing his back, then "tangles... fingers into his hair, carressing" and explains that the first time in such a situation is the worst, and he'll be okay. Doyle points out that he doesn't ever want to be "okay" with this situation, and begins to feel guilty about not having been able to stop it. He knows London so well, he should have seen some sign. Bodie rejects this - "Jesus Christ, Doyle. You'll sink both of us."

Doyle realises he's been in shock, recovers, and just as he's getting up spots a priest helping the victims. He's not impressed - "Oh great... God's here." Bodie's puzzled by this, and Doyle realises that the priest is giving first aid, not the last rites. As he watches the priest, however, and then hears his voice, Doyle realises that he's familiar. ""Gabriel. Gabe!" and begins to walk into the crowd."

So - what did you think?

Comments

[macklingirl.livejournal.com]

I must admit with the Doyle she describes I was thrown out of the story and had to fight to get in again. I think he might be shocked for two or maybe three seconds when he gets there at the moment the bomb blow up, but not when he arrives at a bomb field. At that moment he knows what to expect and his training would rule his body and mind. The knees like water might come afterwards, when the adrenalin flow is ebbing down.

And Bodie the Super-Hero again, who jumps out of the car and into the fiasko without thinking or hesitation. But at the other hand Bodie isn't able to comfort a dying man, which Doyle can do without thinking about it? That doesn't fit for me, even if Doyle's reaction is the reaction I would expect from him.

I know from first hand experience that your brain stops telling you what to do when there is a situation with hurt people. You don't think or hesitate, you're going to help. The shock comes later, so it was ok that Doyle is sitting next Brunswick church without knowing how he got there. That was very realistic.

What doesn't sound right to me is his behavior when he sees Gabe or a man he thinks is Gabe. His behavior reminds me of a Barbara Cartland heroine. Blah.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I think he might be shocked for two or maybe three seconds when he gets there at the moment the bomb blow up, but not when he arrives at a bomb field
Yes, exactly my thoughts - he's trained to do this, and he's been doing it in the police to various degrees for years too...

Bodie isn't able to comfort a dying man, which Doyle can do without thinking about it? That doesn't fit for me
For me that was Bodie harking back to the past few chapters, where he's still coming to terms with a kind of non-harsh, non-military way of thinking. I can see Doyle being better at giving comfort than Bodie right now, because he's had more experience in the police, whereas Bodie's "thrown grenades into the bush". So his first thought was how to put the man out of his misery, and he reaches for his gun (though I can't actually see Bodie doing that in the middle of London, even if he might have done it in the otherwise-empty jungle).

The shock comes later, so it was ok that Doyle is sitting next Brunswick church without knowing how he got there.
Yes, I agree - although again it was Doyle having to be comforted about it rather than Bodie - although to be fair she does say "Bodie sounds - looks - as if he could use some kind of comfort himself. He's pale, his eyes..." etc. We seem to get Doyle's pov when he's feeling weak, and Bodie's pov when he's feeling strong, and it makes me feel as if it's more unbalanced than sometimes it is, I think...

his behavior when he sees Gabe or a man he thinks is Gabe. His behavior reminds me of a Barbara Cartland heroine. Blah
Hmmn - Firlefanzine said that too, but I didn't actually have a problem with the end of the chapter like that... It's perhaps the one moment when he isn't swooning! *g*

[macklingirl.livejournal.com]

I think I shoulde phrase the part about Doyle giving comfort to the dying man in other words. I think it is (like you said) more normal for Doyle to give comfort than for Bodie. But it doesn't fit into the super-hero-image the author is creating here for Bodie. Because if he were such a super-hero it should be no problem for him to react in such a way and not in nearly pulling his gun.

We seem to get Doyle's pov when he's feeling weak, and Bodie's pov when he's feeling strong, and it makes me feel as if it's more unbalanced than sometimes it is, I think...
Well, I always thought that it could be me not beeing a native speaker that made it difficult for me with the changes in the pov, so I tried to ignore it. But I think you're right, that might be my main problem too.

Hmmn - Firlefanzine said that too, but I didn't actually have a problem with the end of the chapter like that... It's perhaps the one moment when he isn't swooning! *g*
I just don't think that he would walk away like a girl seeking for the knight in shining armor only because he hears a voice he remembers. For me he is to much a professional and he knows there is more to do. He isn't swooning, but he doesn't react like the Doyle I know from the eps. The Doyle from the eps would do his job and after all he could do is done would go to the church to look if the priest is really Gabe.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Because if he were such a super-hero it should be no problem for him to react in such a way
Oh okay - I guess I wasn't thinking of him being mentally and psychologically a super-hero, just with the physical bravery and so on.

I just don't think that he would walk away
Oh, but I don't think he's walking away from the bomb scene, or what needs to be done - Gabe is actually trying to help he victims too, so it's more that Gabe's in the middle of things rather than that Doyle is leaving. And since he and Bodie have worked out who set the bombs, stopped the second bomb from detonating, and perhaps don't have as much of a role now as the medics and ambulance drivers (maybe until Cowley gets there to give them their orders etc.), then helping with the victims is surely acceptable - especially when it's his adolescent ex-lover who's just turned up doing the same... *g*

[macklingirl.livejournal.com]

But I really don't understand how he could be so sure that it is Gabe. He didn't see him for a lot of years and to be sure that it is his ex-lover only because he is a darker man whose voice sounds familiar is something that don't work for me.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I dunno - that didn't cause me problems. If you're so close to someone, and they were both almost their adult selves then too, then I think you might recognise them from their voice and just the way they move, even years later...