The Reading Room -- Fic: Monopoly by Kitty Fisher

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

http://www.thecircuitarchive.com/tca/archive/5/monopoly.html
or
http://hatstand.slashcity.net/kitty/mono.html

Monopoly by Kitty Fisher hits all of my buttons. It's what I consider gritty BDSM but gritty really makes me happy in this case. I will read almost any BDSM story that is fully consensual and I can take a lot of rough sex between two men. This story gives us two hard men fucking to within an inch of their lives. I fully realise that this isn't a story for everybody. It's definitely an acquired taste. *g*

I think the first few paragraphs nicely set up the scene. It's not love, we're led to believe from the lead in paragraphs. It's dirty sex between two men.

Doyle is waiting:

Doyle straightened, listening to almost silence as the TV clicked off. Without the brash noise the alley seemed to close in. Shadowy, like the molasses his nan had used to make ginger cake; thickly cloying, shiny, sweeter for his own anticipation of the final result. He licked his lips, and plucked at the untucked hem of his T-shirt, wafting air. He was lightly dressed. No gun. No jacket. Nothing to get in the way... of whatever was coming. Whatever Bodie brought. Wanted. Gave...

This paragraph is just about perfect to me. I really like the description of what Doyle thinks of Bodie's confidence anywhere :

A shadow-shift at the edge of his perception, and a figure approached from his left. Unexpected when the road was a dog-leg of alley to his right. Left was... what? Nothing. Something. Somewhere Bodie knew. But then Bodie was at home in the strangest of places. In back alleys. In the secret hours between midnight and dawn.

And this description of Bodie makes me all tingly:

Black polo neck under a black biker's jacket, scratched and dulled with age, black jeans, boots. Unsmiling, his face hollowed and sharpened in the muted streetlight. Doyle knew -- just from the tension in the wide shoulders -- that Bodie was hard. Needy. He felt his sphincter tighten, felt his balls crawl upwards as his cock surged. Hungry Bodie. A dark night and a secluded alleyway. And games as expiation, as benediction. The slow twist of time stopped, here.

The game starts and we're treated to lines like this:

Not fighting. Lost on the cusp of the illusion of helplessness, the reality of submission, Doyle shivered. Hot night air on his skin. Nipples hard, sensitised beyond belief. When Bodie smiled Doyle arched into him, whimpering helplessly, saliva wet on his wide-stretched lips, cooling on his chin.

And just so further emphasise that this is consensual, we're told:

Jesus, he wanted this so much. Wanted Bodie. To fuck him. Hard. Though the tongue was making thought impossible. Making everything impossible, except simple need. Enough to make him sob. Breathlessly, wordlessly begging, the tension rippling in his arms as he held on, stretched and bent, held just as Bodie wanted him.

There is pain and pleasure, and hard fucking and more pain, until Doyle gets what he wants. Until we find out why they picked this night, this alley, this time together to celebrate:

Looking up he (Doyle) caught a smile that showed a flash of white teeth. "I'm alive. I didn't die."

"Just as well." Doyle slid his face between the jacket and Bodie's neck. Snuffled skin. Sweat and animal and scent. Life in the pulse of blood. "Don't scare me, cretin. It's not good for me."

And then the lads toddle off together to head to home and another sort of game and maybe Doyle will now get his turn.

So... Rough story, pain mixed with pleasure, some straight-out painful moments, and by the end, trust and love. I've read almost every story in my three fandoms classified as BDSM and I consider this one the best short story in the genre. I like the timing of the sentences and the way the author constructed them. I like the "textures" we're given of the entire experience: the alley and the clothes and the sex, their reactions and feelings. And for me the complete trust we know exists between Bodie and Doyle is clearly conveyed.

Everything in this story is so easily pictured here for me, so them for me that every time I read it, I'm left with a good feeling that they'll always be there for each other and always cover each other's backs -- in more ways than one.

Comments

Re: special forces

[ronitr.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting.

As to SF – personally, if I would have to describe the writing, I would describe it as simple, aggressive and "in your face", which, seems to suit this story just fine, but, again.. just my 2 cents worth.

It's an interesting question – what makes a story well-written and stand apart from the rest.. Certainly, in SF, its' not the style of writing (e.g. - there are writers who can paint beautiful pictures with their prose. Quite a few in the Pros fandom, such as M. Fae Glasgo, Angelfish ( I know she's not everybody's cup of tea, but I think she's fabulous ), or the one who wrote "The high up and alive fruit". Can remember who it is at the moment. There are many others, of course). That's not the case with SF.

In SF - IMVHO - it's the way the characters become (to me, at least) "actual people" after a while . And I think that, if a writer can make you care deeply about a fictional character, be it love them or hate them with a passion , they are doing something right…

As yes, I can assure you, that to Vadim's great discomfort, Dan will certainly be reappearing.. :-)

Also, I'm always looking for good original slash fics (there aren't that many I could find), and am going to try the other recced fic, if it's online

Re: special forces

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Very true about the idea of a well written story. It's different for each of us, of course. And I totally agree that a writer like Angelfish and Slantedlight (who wrote the story you mentioned) are beautiful writers. They suck you right into a story with their wonderful style. And there are those concise writers who also have a way with their words who do the same. It all depends on the story, how it's presented that works for me. Even my favourite writers sometimes have a miss. Doesn't make it badly written or whatever, just not to taste.

And it depends on moods too. Sometimes one wants something that's descriptive and beautiful, giving one a visual and physical setting that's as wonderful as the boys are. Other times gritty and hard (if that's how one describes a tight, sparse story) is exactly what one wants.

I'll be trying both of the series mentioned as time permits.

Re: special forces

[(Anonymous)]

Hi all, I am also a fan of SF. I admit to not having read many of the works you have mentioned above, but I would like to add my 2 cents about SF. IMHO, if you haven't read past the first few chapters you haven't given the book its due. As ronitr said the characters grow, become real, and as a reader you become invested in their lives. The book spans a 25 year time frame,and that's a long time to spend with characters. Throughout the book you meet others that become a living circle of friends that help them through many trials and tribulations. SF is about soldiers and I believe the authors strove for a sense of realism, having interviewed soldiers and done countless research into soldiers lives while on mission. As to what you might refer to grammar mistakes, if you are referring to speech of the characters, remember some are not native speakers themselves. The style the authors write in is not meant to be easy prose. It is meant to drive action and suspense with short sentences and military speak. Having been a literature major at university, I have high standards and did not have a problem with their style of writing or grammar usage. Open yourselves to the story, give it a chance and become a junkie like the rest of SF fans. There are chapters that will make you cry, shout for joy, or just shake with emotion. I encourage you to give it a chance. If its not for you, all is well and no hard feelings.