[identity profile] sc-fossil.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] ci5hq


http://www.thecircuitarchive.com/tca/archive/5/monopoly.html
or
http://hatstand.slashcity.net/kitty/mono.html

Monopoly by Kitty Fisher hits all of my buttons. It's what I consider gritty BDSM but gritty really makes me happy in this case. I will read almost any BDSM story that is fully consensual and I can take a lot of rough sex between two men. This story gives us two hard men fucking to within an inch of their lives. I fully realise that this isn't a story for everybody. It's definitely an acquired taste. *g*

I think the first few paragraphs nicely set up the scene. It's not love, we're led to believe from the lead in paragraphs. It's dirty sex between two men.

Doyle is waiting:

Doyle straightened, listening to almost silence as the TV clicked off. Without the brash noise the alley seemed to close in. Shadowy, like the molasses his nan had used to make ginger cake; thickly cloying, shiny, sweeter for his own anticipation of the final result. He licked his lips, and plucked at the untucked hem of his T-shirt, wafting air. He was lightly dressed. No gun. No jacket. Nothing to get in the way... of whatever was coming. Whatever Bodie brought. Wanted. Gave...

This paragraph is just about perfect to me. I really like the description of what Doyle thinks of Bodie's confidence anywhere :

A shadow-shift at the edge of his perception, and a figure approached from his left. Unexpected when the road was a dog-leg of alley to his right. Left was... what? Nothing. Something. Somewhere Bodie knew. But then Bodie was at home in the strangest of places. In back alleys. In the secret hours between midnight and dawn.

And this description of Bodie makes me all tingly:

Black polo neck under a black biker's jacket, scratched and dulled with age, black jeans, boots. Unsmiling, his face hollowed and sharpened in the muted streetlight. Doyle knew -- just from the tension in the wide shoulders -- that Bodie was hard. Needy. He felt his sphincter tighten, felt his balls crawl upwards as his cock surged. Hungry Bodie. A dark night and a secluded alleyway. And games as expiation, as benediction. The slow twist of time stopped, here.

The game starts and we're treated to lines like this:

Not fighting. Lost on the cusp of the illusion of helplessness, the reality of submission, Doyle shivered. Hot night air on his skin. Nipples hard, sensitised beyond belief. When Bodie smiled Doyle arched into him, whimpering helplessly, saliva wet on his wide-stretched lips, cooling on his chin.

And just so further emphasise that this is consensual, we're told:

Jesus, he wanted this so much. Wanted Bodie. To fuck him. Hard. Though the tongue was making thought impossible. Making everything impossible, except simple need. Enough to make him sob. Breathlessly, wordlessly begging, the tension rippling in his arms as he held on, stretched and bent, held just as Bodie wanted him.

There is pain and pleasure, and hard fucking and more pain, until Doyle gets what he wants. Until we find out why they picked this night, this alley, this time together to celebrate:

Looking up he (Doyle) caught a smile that showed a flash of white teeth. "I'm alive. I didn't die."

"Just as well." Doyle slid his face between the jacket and Bodie's neck. Snuffled skin. Sweat and animal and scent. Life in the pulse of blood. "Don't scare me, cretin. It's not good for me."


And then the lads toddle off together to head to home and another sort of game and maybe Doyle will now get his turn.

So... Rough story, pain mixed with pleasure, some straight-out painful moments, and by the end, trust and love. I've read almost every story in my three fandoms classified as BDSM and I consider this one the best short story in the genre. I like the timing of the sentences and the way the author constructed them. I like the "textures" we're given of the entire experience: the alley and the clothes and the sex, their reactions and feelings. And for me the complete trust we know exists between Bodie and Doyle is clearly conveyed.

Everything in this story is so easily pictured here for me, so them for me that every time I read it, I'm left with a good feeling that they'll always be there for each other and always cover each other's backs -- in more ways than one.

Date: 2009-04-16 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooting2kill.livejournal.com
Thank you for your introduction and for the choice of story. I think it’s an interesting one (partly) because my feelings towards it are mixed and I really can’t make up my mind about it. On the one hand I love parts of it, some of which you’ve already pointed out: perfect ‘unsmiling’ Bodie in black, enigmatic, hard, brooding, needy Bodie – one of a kind Bodie - and a Doyle in perfect harmony with him. And I love the atmosphere the writer manages to conjure up so well – the city at night, the grittiness, the seediness of the alleyway, the 'tick tock' of the clock in tandem with the click of their heels, the forbidden nature of what they’re about to do, the very erotic atmosphere which pervades the whole story (I’m never sure how to define the term ‘erotic’ or exactly what the distinction is between ‘erotic’ and ‘sexy’, but I know what *I* mean by it, when to use it - the correct context for me – and when to apply it and in this comment I think I’d use eroticism to mean sex and chemistry is everywhere, in the very air they breathe, much like gas in the air before someone strikes a match - I feel at any moment they’re both about to explode with sexual desire). And the scene reminds me of other scenes from stories when they *have* to have rough sex in order to come down from a particularly hard job, sex which only they can understand and provide for each other and not the sort of sex they’d get from a female. E.g. Back Alley by L.A. Scotian and there’s also a scene in a Sebastian story (can’t remember the title) which takes place in a railway carriage just after Ojuka (might be Wonderful Tonight). Anyway, I love all those aspects of the story but what I can’t understand (I’m not opposed to it, I just can’t understand it) is the sexual high (or the attraction) derived from what Bodie does to Doyle with the ball – at least I think it’s a ball - (and I agree with helio’s comment that Actual pain also has the effect of making me see paraphernalia as gadgety and narratively clunky, tending to break me out of a story rather than reading smoothly). I can just about – at a pinch – understand people who get off on a master/slave type situation with whipping etc. and the humiliation which goes with that, but I cannot understand what sexual enjoyment has to do with sticking a ball into someone's mouth, a ball which is so big that their jaw cracks and they must look and feel ridiculous and lose all sense of dignity. It just seems funny to me, like sticking a silly hat on someone, why would anyone want to do that or get a sexual kick from it? Or is it purely a physical thing like asphyxiation prolonging orgasm? And this brings me back to eroticism. Up until the ball section I thought the story was very erotic but from then on I felt the spell was broken and the eroticism seemed to descend into something which I found very hard to understand the attraction of, something which puzzled me and which I found hard to take seriously (and it's not a criticism, it's *my* problem!). But having said all that, I did enjoy the other bits of the story which I’ve already mentioned and I thought it was an excellent choice. Thanks!
Edited Date: 2009-04-16 08:16 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-04-16 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooting2kill.livejournal.com
Thank you! Rambling aloud here, I forgot to say in my original comment that I feel there's a fine line between something which is considered to be erotic and which, presumably, is quite an attractive/positive thing to experience, compared to the 'erotic' when taken a stage further, when that fine line is crossed and that 'something' is then viewed as distasteful or even unsavoury. Possibly the fine line is crossed simply when one partner begins to find things distasteful or unacceptable but I wonder if there's a more objective way of looking at this, i.e. even if both partners are still OK about what they're doing, that the act they're involved in ceases to be erotic and is viewed by society as unacceptable? Perhaps it's when a third party is involved that certain things become unacceptable and that anything they do just between the two of them (in a consensual way as you've said earlier) is fair game?

This sums up an aspect of what I like in a BDSM story also

Yes, I can understand that, it's just the leather ball bit I don't get and can't understand what they would get from it...
Edited Date: 2009-04-17 08:04 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-04-17 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooting2kill.livejournal.com
....and somehow I seemed to have wandered away from trying to consider the story as erotic, generally (atmosphere etc) to the sex acts between Bodie and Doyle, which I didn't mean to do...

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