Reading Room: The Persistence of Memory

[tinturtle]

Welcome to the Reading Room discussion of The Persistence of Memory by PR Zed. Below is a summary of the story. I hoped to post this a bit earlier in the day, but there were difficulties.

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At the start of the story, Doyle is on a solo assignment in Wales, looking for retired IRA member Connor McGowan, who is wanted for killing five schoolchildren, among other crimes. Doyle happens on another IRA member, Gav Logan, who is also looking for McGowan, and follows him. Logan ambushes Doyle, however, and the ensuing fight ends with Doyle falling over the edge of a sea cliff with a bullet in his shoulder.

Several days later, Bodie returns to HQ from his own solo assignment only to find that Doyle has gone missing in Wales. Cowley fears he may have been killed and his body dumped in the ocean. Bodie insists on going to Wales to look for Doyle, to which Cowley agrees, sending Jax and Murphy with him.

Meanwhile, Doyle has been found and taken home by Brian Reynolds, an Irishman living in Wales, who is soon revealed to actually be Connor McGowan. Brian keeps his discovery of Doyle a secret because, having found Doyle with a bullet wound and wearing an empty holster, he believes Doyle might be wanted by the police and does not want to expose him. Things become more complicated, however, when Doyle awakes and proves to have amnesia from the head injury he sustained in his fall.

The CI5 agents arrive in Wales and proceed to search for Doyle. As part of their search, they also look for Connor McGowan and Gav Logan, who they are informed has been in the area. They also communicate to the locals that they are CI5.

Soon, Brian's friend Denny arrives at Brian's cottage to tell him that several CI5 agents are looking for his amnesiac house guest. Denny assumes that this means Doyle must have done something really bad, but Brian defends him. Denny also warns Brian that the CI5 agents have been asking after him (as Connor McGowan), and showing people a photo from their files. Denny urges Brian to flee, but Brian is unwilling. Doyle overhears this conversation and offers to leave so as not to bring trouble on Brian, but Brian will not hear of it, since Doyle is still injured.

The CI5 agents finally find a local who is able and willing to identify the photo of Connor McGowan as Brian Reynolds. They receive directions to his cottage and set out to see what he might know about Doyle. Meanwhile, Gav Logan has also found out where Brian is living. He arrives and attacks Brian and Doyle, who must barricade themselves in the house and then one of its bedrooms with only a disused shotgun for defense. This crisis restores Doyle's memory, but it looks as if he and Brian may be about to die. The CI5 agents arrive at the cottage in the nick of time, however, and Bodie kills Gav Logan. He takes Doyle to get medical care while Murphy and Jax arrest Brian.

Bodie and Doyle, who have been subtly pining for each other throughout the story, share a kiss in their accommodations and obliquely confess their love. Later, in London, after Doyle has recovered from his injury, they eat Indian food and have sex. Brian, we learn, is now in prison.

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How did you like this story? What was your favorite part? Do you enjoy the amnesia trope? What about partner worry?

What were your feelings about the character of Brian/Connor? Can someone really leave their past behind? Did you want or expect a different ending for him?

Is it weird to have a male dog named Banshee?

Comments

[queenafoster.livejournal.com]

How did you like this story? What was your favorite part? Do you enjoy the amnesia trope? What about partner worry?

I really enjoyed this story, but it's PRZed, and I expected to enjoy it as I've done with all her others. There were many bits and pieces of the story that I found entertaining, but the one I kept going back to was that when Doyle regained his memory, he didn't make a big deal of it. Boom, it came back, and he kept right on with what had to be done. The amnesia trope is a known quantity, and a good writer can usually make it enjoyable. Gotta say I loved the partner worry. Bodie was focused like a laser on finding Doyle, and there was nothing that would interfere with his mission. Just better get out of his way. 'Katie, bar the door!'

What were your feelings about the character of Brian/Connor? Can someone really leave their past behind? Did you want or expect a different ending for him?

I recently read a NF book about The Troubles and several of the people profiled in the book possibly had some regrets. Some had PTSD over actions they had taken in their younger years, so Brian/Connor's attempts to find another life seemed real to me. In the past, I think it was sometimes possible to find another life if the person cut all ties and assumed another identity, but it's not so easy these days. I was okay with the ending that PRZed gave him even though I liked his character. His previous actions were heinous.

Is it weird to have a male dog named Banshee?

While traditionally banshees have been female, I don't think a scientific study was ever done proving that all banshees were women. I'm open-minded enough to leave open the possibility that there could have been male banshees. So, I've got no problem with a male dog named Banshee.

[tinturtle]

I really liked the partner worry in this fic, too. The anticlimactic restoration of Ray's memory was also a nice touch.

An NF book about the Troubles sounds like excellent background for this story (as well as a number of other Pros fanfics).

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

I thought the story was a good read. I enjoyed the partner worry because it wasn't drawn out over a long time. Amnesia fic is fine with me. I know it's a well-used trope but that's okay. I thought the misdirection from one IRA person to another worked, and I think the bloke who rescued Doyle was truly trying to live a different life. I believe a person can regret their actions from a war or an uprising that they felt was necessary, even if it proves not to be in years to come. I'll bet Bodie has actions he regrets after being a mercenary.

I didn't know Banshee was a female name. LOL! I'm good with calling your dog or cat whatever one likes. *bg* We have a cat called K9.

Thanks! I enjoyed reading the story.

[tinturtle]

Comparing Brian's situation to Bodie's could have been an interesting dimension to add to the story.

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

How did you like this story?

It was fine. . . .the lads were not together enough for me. This is a story about Doyle.

What was your favorite part?

Doyle remembered that Brian save his life and it gave him a renewed belief that people can change if given the circumstances

Do you enjoy the amnesia trope?

Generally, I love it . . . but I really do want Bodie and Doyle together working it out, that's my preference,

What about partner worry?

Partner worry is grand!!! I love when they worry about the other especially if it leads to an epiphany towards that "aha" moment.

What were your feelings about the character of Brian/Connor? Can someone really leave their past behind?

It was nice to see him make different choices. And yes, If one really wants to, I think they can leave their past. But it's not easy.

Did you want or expect a different ending for him?

Yes, but that's probably not realistic

Is it weird to have a male dog named Banshee? ............well it does seem like a girls dogs name, but if the dog is a howler it can work!!!!

[tinturtle]

It's true that the Lads were apart for most of this story. I feel as if that's true of a lot of PR Zed's fics.

What ending would you have preferred/did you expect for Brian?

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

I do agree that the author does that a lot.

I would have liked to see Brian get his do over. . . it is not RL and sometimes I would like to see the effort awarded.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

To answer your questions first... *g*

How did you like this story? What was your favorite part? Do you enjoy the amnesia trope? What about partner worry?
I think it's got a decent plot, but I'm afraid I stumbled on various jumps of logic, which kept pulling me out.

My favourite part was probably the character reveal — something was obviously up with "Brian", but I didn't assume he was Connor at any point, despite him bemoaning his past! Mind you, I might just need more coffee as it seems obvious now! *g*

I do like a good amnesia trope, but what I like about them is where the lads have to cope with it between themselves, and we didn't see that in this story, unfortunately. It was really just a contrivance to keep Doyle with McGowan until Bodie showed up, I think.

Partner worry — again, yes, like some partner worry! I prefer it being shown rather than told though, and I think this edged just to the latter.

What were your feelings about the character of Brian/Connor? Can someone really leave their past behind? Did you want or expect a different ending for him?
At first I thought it was a bit cliched that the local loner would find Doyle and decide not to take him to hospital due to some nebulous past, especially when he turns out to have a mate who knows him deep down, despite him being from another country, and who just happens to be a doctor who can help (like I said, I really should have had more coffee before reading this!!) In a way it was even more cliched, because of course Brian was Connor who happened to have a mate nearby who happened to be a doctor... but my lack of coffee mitigated that!

When you ask can someone leave their past behind, do you mean can someone redeem themselves after having done awful things? It's very Hollywood for a villain to finally receive their comeuppance, and we see it in Pros too, in You'll be Alright. Pros gives us the greyness of it though, which is why I like our show - it asks whether Jack Stone has punished himself nearly as much as being in prison would have punished him. I think we conclude that he'd never repeat his actions, that he's learned it's not worth it, and so we do feel a bit bad for him when he's handcuffed and taken from his family. PRZed has put the same thing in this story - Connor hasn't got a wife and kids, but he loses his much-loved dog. If anything I was a bit surprised at how matter-of-factly that part of the story was told! Bye-bye Banshee, go live with someone else now! And I think we've been told that Connor regrets what he did way back when, and there's perhaps implied punishment in his loner existence. I wasn't entirely surprised that they took him away anyway though, because that's what happened to Jack Stone in the ep.

Is it weird to have a male dog named Banshee?
A banshee is traditionally a female spirit, but they're also famous for their wail - defined by it, really, and since we're told the dog has a long, loud howl "like a banshee" I think it works. Our actions don't have to be defined by our apparent gender, or vise-versa... *vbg*

[tinturtle]

I also prefer when the Lads have to work through the amnesia together. This amnesia story line missed out on all the possibilities of that.

I like your comparison of Jack Stone and Brian/Connor. The complexity of that episode is indeed mirrored in this fic.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Thought I'd better split my answer, before lj does it for me!

So generally... although I did like the various elements of the story, the actual writing itself rather threw me with this one. I really rated PRZed's stories when I first found Pros, and I'm not sure whether my reaction to this one is a result of the time between changing my tastes and the way I read thing (you know, the whole wow-fandom-stories! thing when you've just discovered fandom at all!), or whether it's a result of time changing the way the author writes. If I had time I'd go and re-read some of her earlier stuff to try and check.

I found it a bit more tell than show in various places, and I 100% prefer my stories the other way around.

I was also thrown by what seemed to me to be jumps of logic in various places. The big one was perhaps the cliff fall being talked up ("cliff's edge...roaring surf below... Impact with earth and rock... leaving only an insensible and broken shell") when Doyle turned out to have been knocked insensible by it, yes, with the amnesia, but otherwise barely affected at all.. He fell into sea so strong that there was a "roaring surf"? He was knocked insensible, but he wasn't drowned by falling into water? He hit not just earth on the way down the cliff, but also rock, but his physical injuries are just a knock to the head? Nothing broken, not even bad bruising, or a limp when he finally walks? It's really just the gunshot wound that's described as his physical injury.

Other examples...

Bodie and the lads get to Pwllheli, we're told they talked to the landlady when they checked in, and then Murphy suggests they go for a pint as if it's just an ordinary case? Of course Bodie's not in the mood, not when his partner-worry has been talked up right until now! Good recovery, because of course its the pub where Doyle was last seen, but it didn't quite connect for me. I wanted a bit more.

Why does Doyle find it hard to believe Reynolds has done things he's not proud of? He didn't take Doyle to the hospital, so there's obviously something dodgy going on, and Doyle's surely not that oblivious to context, even with amnesia?!

Bodie, Jax and Murphy all seem to jump to a big conclusion after being told that someone who came into the pub was "big and ugly" and Irish. There's only one big ugly Irishman in the country, so it had to be Logan?!

Talk about "beating the fog" but then being told the fog was a thick wall five hundred yards away. You can't beat what's already there.

Brian being "outraged" at the idea of Doyle helping him with his car — seems a slighty excessive reaction.

Connor/Brian assuming that Doyle would know how to load a shotgun? It's not automatic knowledge here in the UK! Maybe he thought he'd remember that, even if he remembered nothing else? But... again, it made me blink.

Doyle saying that he fell over the cliff by himself? That it had nothing to do with Logan? If nothing else it's described as him halting at the cliff edge, turning back to face Logan, and the bullet "slammed" into his shoulder - the implication is that this is what causes him to stumble backwards and over the cliff. I just can't see Doyle twisting that into "no, it was my own fault I went over cliff".

These sorts of things creep into writing now and then (which is why betas are usually a good idea!), but I'd just recovered from one when the next one popped up...

There were a few American-isms (Canadian-isms) too, which also snap me out of a Pros story as I'm reading - "lick of attention", oatmeal rather than porridge, punctuation of "Mr." (don't need punctuation - it's "Mr"). Little things, but it's all the little things adding up that mean I come away from a story thinking it was okay rather than having really enjoyed it.

Looking forward to hearing what you thought of it! *g*

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Whereas I find pages and pages of dialogue for every single scene tedious. Just tell me what happened in one paragraph! Not for everything, of course, but it doesn't bother me. Plenty of mainstream published authors tell us what's going on and I'm fine with that.

Plenty to read for everybody, that's for sure.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I think I'm missing something here - pages of dialogue aren't "showing instead of telling" (I think that's what you're referring to? But let me know if that wasn't what you meant!) I guess they could be used to show instead of tell, but they could also be telling not showing!

An example of what I mean:
"Doyle lusted after Bodie as he sat on the couch" (telling)
vs
"Doyle couldn't take his eyes off Bodie as he sat on the couch, every movement meant he wanted him more, like fire through his veins" (showing - we're being shown the effect that Bodie has on Doyle, which we then understand is lust, not just being told what that effect is.).

(I also avoid mainstream authors who tell me what's going on rather than show me, btw — it's nothing to do with publication status!)

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's not quite what I meant. Your example is fine. I'm talking about showing everything that happens in dialogue. There is a scene for each incident fully fleshed out, with everybody having a speaking part from the lads and Cowley to the bartender or the grocery clerk or the doctor. I find it boring after a while. Watching telly is often like that to me. They have to show us everything the bad guy is doing down to the littlest detail, and there's no suspense for me. Nothing is off screen (or off page).

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

I tried to think of an example of what I mean. Maybe, Doyle did the laundry. I know what he did. I don't need the writer telling me he opened the door, added soap powder, set the temperature, and turned on the machine. Way too much for me. I tried reading an h/c zine once that had an operation of some sort and every detail of the operation was there, from the first scalpel cut to the stitches. Just tell me he had his appendix out! :)

[tinturtle]

I love PR Zed's work, in general. Seeing that she had written so many Pros stories was a big part of the reason I checked out the show. I was less excited about this fic, though, so possibly it's one of her weaker ones.

Regarding the cliff, I think Ray was supposed to have fallen onto a ledge part way down, not all the way to the bottom.

The fog seemed a bit unnecessary all around. I didn't end up including it in my summary because it didn't actually have any effect on the plot. I did enjoy the atmosphere it gave to Logan's arrival, though.

*TinTurtle scurries off to remove all the periods from people's titles in the fic she's writing*

[queenafoster.livejournal.com]

I didn't know that bit about the periods and titles either.

[tinturtle]

How did you like this story? What was your favorite part?
I enjoyed this story, but didn't love it quite as much as some of PR Zed's other works. I think my favorite part was Logan's arrival through the fog, even though the fog didn't actually have any effect on the plot and possibly didn't belong in the story at all.

Do you enjoy the amnesia trope? What about partner worry?
I like the amnesia trope. As others have said, though, my favorite stories that use it have the Lads dealing with it together. It was interesting for Doyle to be rescued by the man he was sent to track down and to unknowingly befriend him, though.

Yes. Give me all the partner worry.

What were your feelings about the character of Brian/Connor? Can someone really leave their past behind?
I thought Brian's character added a lot of complexity to the story. The juxtaposition of his past with his kindness to Doyle and to his dog created tension for me as a reader. Giving him past crimes that are nearly impossible to excuse heightened that effect and was a good choice on PR Zed's part, I think.

Personally, I wasn't ready to view Brian, kindly hermit, as a separate person from Connor, killer of school children, so I guess I am at least skeptical that people can leave their pasts behind.

Did you want or expect a different ending for him?
I expected him to die in the confrontation with Logan, but I am not disappointed that he didn't. I would have considered that a bit of a cop out on the author's part, avoiding having to decide what to do with him in the end.

Is it weird to have a male dog named Banshee?
Yes. Banshee literally means "fairy woman" and, knowing that, I kept being distracted by the fact that the dog was named that while also being referred to using masculine pronouns. *shrug*