Pros Novel Read-Along - Waiting to Fall by Rob - Chapters 31-35

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

This week's chapters of Waiting to Fall were 31-35. Last week we left the lads at the end of a difficult op. Bodie eventually gets home and goes looking for Doyle, but Doyle isn't at his flat and is nowhere to be found - until Bodie heads back to his own flat, where he's able to carefully slide into bed beside a sleeping Doyle.

The lads awake and find themselves together again - and Doyle is all apologies for having hurt Bodie when he forgot to use vaseline. Bodie in turn apologises for letting Doyle think he was going to be killed, and all is well again. Bodie teaches Doyle about prostates, and Doyle explains that he doesn't like living alone and wants to live with Bodie. So they apply for a flat share, and move in together.

Bodie realises that Doyle hasn't had a chance to put Ann Holly to rest, and that he probably doesn't even know where her grave is, so he takes Doyle to the cemetery, and Ann Holly is "finally laid to rest".

Life in CI5 continues - the inter-agency shooting tournament is coming up, and Doyle is spending alot of time practicing with the team, much to Bodie's dismay. On the night before the match, Doyle goes out with Pete Kelly, one of the team members, and ends up bringing him home to the shared flat. Bodie listens from his own bedroom with anger to Doyle and Pete chatting into the night, and matters are made worse when he finds Pete curled up around Doyle in bed the next morning. He manages not to hit anyone, which is lucky because it turns out that Doyle thought it was Bodie wrapped around him as usual, and Bodie had no reason to be jealous after all. CI5 comes second in the tournament, behind MI6 (Bodie says "You didn't really expect to beat MI6 did you?")

The time seems to have come for Bodie to fuck Doyle - or so Doyle decides when he wakes up one morning before Bodie (which doesn't usually happen, apparently). Trouble is, Bodie wakes grumpy and needs the bathroom - so new plan, Doyle decides they'll shower together, then Bodie can fuck him, then they'll shower again. The trouble this time is that Bodie can't wait to get back to the bedroom, and ends up fucking Doyle on the bathroom floor instead, which brings back memories and traumatises Doyle, and sends Bodie into paroxyms of guilt and tears. Eventually Doyle comes around and is able to reassure Bodie that it isn't rape if the other person wants it - which he did, even if he did seem to be catatonic through most of it, and wouldn't respond to anything afterwards... Bodie is comforted, but continues to fret about it.

Cowley sends them to Macklin, who decides both lads have got soft - Doyle more so than Bodie. The only way to make Doyle really fight is to threaten to really hurt Bodie, and so Macklin does, only to be knocked out cold by a furious Doyle. Doyle, however, is then bewildered and shocked by his own actions - he'd been so sure that Macklin would move out of the way, and had to pull his punch at the last second. He won't apologise for what he did, and insists Macklin should have moved out of the way, but has to be dragged away from explaining and justifying himself to everyone, including Cowley. It turns out he was worried that he'd be sent back to the Beeches if he'd accidentally killed Macklin.

They go home and to bed, where it turns out Bodie doesn't want to have sex with Doyle again after what happened last time. Doyle reassures him, but all Bodie will accept is cuddling.

In CI5 the next day they're both tired and waiting in the empty agent's break room, so Bodie tells Doyle to have a sleep in the armchair. Gradually other agents arrive, see Doyle asleep and quieten down to let him rest. Cowley comes looking for Bodie, who's nipped to the loo, sees Doyle and goes to wake him instead. Doyle reacts as all the agents apparently know he will, by hitting out - and Cowley ends up with a black eye. This, and further bad dreams, sets Doyle fretting again, and eventually he goes to see Kate Ross of his own accord - who reassures him that he's accepted as an agent, and then tells him that she will shortly be leaving CI5. And that's where we're up to at the end of Chapter Thirty-Five.

Okay, I think I've worked out what's happened to Doyle. It's the Crysalids. Or maybe Midwich Cuckoos. Generally aliens, anyway, who've taken over his body and don't know how the planet Earth works, never mind CI5... Because this Doyle:
- needs his cheek tapped before he can pay attention to Bodie, even when they're lying face to face and Doyle's been talking to him
- can't wait for evaluation results on his own, he needs someone there to hold his hand because he's so nervous about it
- doesn't even think to check the fuse on a washing machine plug because he "doesn't know about electrics" (even though people in the UK had to wire up their own plugs until the 1990s, and as a CI5 agent he has to be capable of defusing bombs - although now I think about that, Rob had Doyle only accidentally cutting the right wire in the Purging bit of the story, because he'd thought it was a put-on)
- can't hold his booze at all, he's a complete drunk in half the time it takes anyone else on the squad
- doesn't want to live on his own, because he's only lived with other people before
- doesn't know what a prostate is or does (and was ever-so-surprised when he touched Bodie's - under strict instruction from Bodie). And he wonders if women have them.
- is like a "sleepy dormouse" when he wakes up - all cute and not very bright
- it's inevitable that he will be beaten in a fight by anyone slightly larger than he is, and always by Bodie, because he's so "slight" of build

So, with that Doyle at hand, we seem to be confronted with one easily-solved problem after another in these chapters - Doyle's past with Ann Holly, the lads wanting to live together, Doyle's confidence in the squad, and finally his ability to really fight if he has to. The only thing we're back waiting for is the lads to... fall. *g*

Various things struck me as problematic with Doyle's past in these chapters, though, so that they seemed inconsistent over all - maybe an artefact of writing in installments: the idea that another man could sleep cuddled up to Doyle and not only would Doyle not notice, despite still occasionally flinching when Bodie makes a sudden move before he's properly awake, but he wouldn't think anything of it when he finds out; that Bodie might think it's a good idea to fuck Bodie on the floor of a bathroom, despite knowing Doyle's background and having been so considerate about his past up to this point; that the whole squad somehow knows about Doyle hitting out at people when he's woken - except Pete Kelly, who got into bed with him without worrying about waking him, and Cowley who otherwise knows everything in the squad.

I feel like I'm flinching through most of the story, which is a shame, because the writing's good, it's just the characterisation that I'm struggling with. Okay, and the plot. *g* Sadly, I'm not sorry there's only five chapters to go... I suspect I would have read it differently either back when Pros/fandom was new to me, or if I'd read this when it first came out. Since then I've read so many little-Doyle and big-Bodie stories that I get impatient as soon as I see a fic turning that way, and tend to just put them down rather than soldiering on as I'm doing now.

I think one of the things that's making me flinch a bit is that this reminds me more of a story about a dysfunctional m/f relationship than about a B/D relationship. We've got a big butch bloke who loves and wants to protect a smaller, sensitive and emotional partner - and doesn't like the idea of them having their own friends and activities, although he has his own best mate at work (Lake). The big butch bloke cherishes his partner, while at the same time looking down on them (they need to be protected from life by someone who knows better). Avoiding all those things is one reason I usually enjoy m/m fiction, and especially B/D, but they're all here... No wonder Doyle's looking puzzled in the picture below!

Comments

[tinturtle]

TL;DR: Ack.

I think byslantedlight's theory that aliens have taken over Ray's body is a very promising one. Moreover, if we place it next to her comment that B and D's relationship is full of unhealty m/f relationship tropes, we can guess that not only have the body-snatching aliens taken over Doyle, but most of their research material regarding the planet Earth consisted of mainstream romance stories. It all makes sense. In Chapter 40, it will be revealed that Waiting to Fall has been a satirical sci-fi novel all along.

In seriousness, I was exasperated by many of the same things as SL, particularly the ease with which Ann Holly’s memory was cleared out of the way of the new relationship—one visit to her grave and everything is fine?—and the fact that Kelly’s cuddling with Doyle didn’t seem to upset anyone very much once Doyle had offered Bodie an explanation. What’s up with that? Then there was Doyle’s anatomy lesson, which almost made me give up on finishing this section at all.

The fact that B and D decide to have their first anal sex in which Doyle is the receptive partner in the shower, the same setting in which Doyle was nearly gang raped, is frankly bizarre. (As for whether what happened between B and D in that scene was rape… Well, Doyle doesn’t interpret it that way. I suppose that should be the important thing.)

There continue to be suggestions that the Lads’ relationship is founded on a caretaking dynamic, and for the most part, that is not portrayed as something they need to overcome. I bookmarked five places in which it comes up explicitly, and in only one of those do the characters seem to have qualms about it. That is becoming a recurring theme, then, but it’s not clear that Rob thinks it needs to be resolved, nor is it clear to me how it can be in the space we have left.

On a lighter note, this passage amused me:

Ever since he had been forced to sit through the three day computer course on the new system he had appreciated how simple it was to produce a report that previously would have taken hours, sore fingers and two bottles of tippex. All they had to do now, he thought cheerfully as he collected the printout and dropped it in Cowley's tray, was to invent a machine that typed as you dictated.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes. Oh, Rob. In this section, I started wondering if Rob had a set number of chapters she meant the story to reach. The whole jealous-of-Kelly thing feels like BOTH Bodie and Doyle have been possessed by other characters. And then, if more story ideas/tropes are needed, what on earth made her think that what this story needs is more rape?

And flat-moving. They don't even shop for curtains.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

My guess is that the rape issue is a reflection of what women were going through at the time, so probably something that was at least at the edge of Rob's consciousness. I remember very strongly that rape was one of the things society over here was addressing at the time - and it wasn't just in men's consciousness, it was almost more in women's. The idea that rape wasn't the fault of the woman, that women should be able to go out at night and get home safely. I was at uni in the mid-eighties, and there were women's minibuses that you could catch from the student's union (i.e. from campus, in US-speak) which would drop you home because it wasn't safe to walk on your own after dark. Rape within marriage was only included in the law as rape in the 1990s. It seemed to drop out of people's consciousness in the 2000s, although it's recently been raised again over here...

[tinturtle]

It seemed to drop out of people's consciousness in the 2000s, although it's recently been raised again over here...

I dunno. I was in university from 2005 to 2009. We had a volunteer sexual assault response team on campus. In addition to being available during crises, they put up flyers about consent on the insides of all the toilet stalls and did presentations in the dorms. I think they held a Take Back the Night march, too, which was attended by members of the general student body. This issue seemed to me to be quite a big deal on college campuses at that time, due partly to the scandal surrounding members Duke lacrosse team, but also concern over a culture that normalized lack of consent, especially at parties involving heavy drinking.

the student's union (i.e. from campus, in US-speak)

We have buildings called student unions (no 's').

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

We have buildings called student unions (no 's').
Ah, we didn't have one at UAF, it was just always called by the name of the building. Do the ones you know serve the same purpose - the general social hub of the uni, with bars, cafes, societies and meeting rooms etc.?

volunteer sexual assault response team on campus
Frighteningly specific, that... Glad to hear that the issue was being addressed in US universities too, although I don't remember seeing it much addressed at UAF between 1999-2008 — as you say, perhaps where you were it was partly due to a publicised scandal... :( I wouldn't be surprised to hear that there were things like women's minibuses in New York and big cities like that, too... As far as I know Rob was an English writer, though, so she would have been basing stories on her societal experience here, although of course there was a little cross-over via tv and films (I'm pretty sure she was also older than me, so I'm guessing her experience would be more 1970s rather than 1980s). Over here, tv shows like "Men Behaving Badly", and what was known as "Lads culture" (sadly not our lads!) or "laddism" seemed to take over in the 2000s, and there also seems to have been an escalation of really anti-women behaviour (it was even described as a backlash against feminism), and especially with the internet, so that when "#me too" came up it was really no surprise... :(

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

In Joan Smith's _Misogynies_, one of the main essays was about the Yorkshire Ripper, and a horrifying detail was that some rapists took advantage of the social response in which men walked women home to walk them home and rape them. Just. I see that a minibus was preferable.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Men can be horrendous beasts... and so can women, for that matter. It's people - bloody people... *sighs*

I guess the minibuses and Waiting to Fall were just slightly after Jack the Ripper's time (*g*)... but people really do seem slow to change, when they can be bothered at all...

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

As for whether what happened between B and D in that scene was rape… Well, Doyle doesn’t interpret it that way. I suppose that should be the important thing
I think I've mentioned before that I'm quite fascinated by the way Pros authors were addressing issues of rape (a relatively new part of women's consciousness being that they didn't actually have to either accept it as inevitable, or take the blame for it), and one thing I've noticed is that alot of stories from back then include something like "it's not rape if both people want it to happen" to distinguish it from the unwanted violence of rape...

was to invent a machine that typed as you dictated.
Lol - they were called secretaries back then... *g*

[tinturtle]

one thing I've noticed is that alot of stories from back then include something like "it's not rape if both people want it to happen" to distinguish it from the unwanted violence of rape...

Whereas I was taught that if either person withdrew consent, and the other didn't stop, then it was rape. That's what happened in that scene.

There's an interesting fic, apparently from 1997, that you may have read. It's told from the point of view of one of the Lads, who is the aggressor in a somewhat similar situation. I wasn't sure quite what to make of it, though it does try not to make excuses.

[tinturtle]

Whereas I was taught that if either person withdrew consent, and the other didn't stop, then it was rape. That's what happened in that scene.

I've also read, however, that you shouldn't insist to someone that they were raped if that's not how they frame what happened.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

There's an awful lot more to things like this than "it was" or "it wasn't", and I guess we'll carry on learning about that... there's no one-fits-all answer, either...

And now I have to get to work, because it's Monday morning here, and this always happens and then I'm screwed for working-at-2am-and-getting-up-late-wise for the rest of the week! I really want to try and avoid that this week!

[tinturtle]

And now I have to get to work, because it's Monday morning here, and this always happens and then I'm screwed for working-at-2am-and-getting-up-late-wise for the rest of the week! I really want to try and avoid that this week!

Yeah. None of that.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Whereas I was taught that if either person withdrew consent, and the other didn't stop, then it was rape. That's what happened in that scene.
Yes, and thank goodness people's understanding of rape has carried on evolving. Not that it was ever considered acceptable by most people, but I think there was a belief if was almost inevitable, and certainly men tried to pass it off as the woman's fault. And I'm saying that in the past tense, but of course that's only true in my part of the world/society - there are still alot of places where that's what happens now...

I remember the premise of that story, and I've never been comfortable with it, because I don't at all like the idea that our lads weren't the more enlightened types (and going by canon characterisation, I don't think that would happen to Doyle either, though it might to Bodie). But then I think the point of the story was that men have to learn what it all means as well, which is true.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

There's a fic I read more than once, totally by mistake because it is not warned and has an innocuous title like "Sunshine," in which the rape is awful and the response is awful, and I'm afraid to click your link now.

I sympathize theoretically. If a fan writer had experienced such an attack from a close friend or lover, especially when she would have plenty of real examples of how impossible it was for a report to be believed (remember the uni student who strapped a mattress to her back and wore it everywhere to insure that if she were known as "the crazy bitch who tried to ruin that young man's life" then everyone would be reminded WHY) then a story of despair and murder would be bizarrely comforting.

But, well, that breaks my heart too.

[tinturtle]

I have also read Sunshine. I would say that the fic I linked to is not nearly as upsetting as that one, but certainly potentially upsetting. Mild spoilers follow:

The fic starts with a medium-graphic rape that happens because Doyle is not attentive to clear signs that a woman he has picked up has changed her mind about sleeping with him. The rest is about his reactions to the situation, told from his perspective. As I said, I wasn't sure what to make of it.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

So I read it.

It occured to me that a story in which one of our favorite characters feels such extreme remorse makes us feel better, as if our lad takes on the guilt we wish real rapists felt. If all men were like our lads, there would be much less rape.

And slashers gonna slash, for sure. I admit I rolled my eyes a bit at the progression from confession to camping-up to sex! to exclusive relationship.

[tinturtle]

I skimmed the story last night to refresh my memory. I think it would have been stronger if it were not a slash story. That plot thread distracted from the main one, and I was left feeling as if Bodie was a prize Doyle got for being such a decent guy as to regret his actions.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

Yes, that is exactly how it felt. Hmm, let's put a pin in that for the next WTF discussion.