Pros Novel Read-Along - Waiting to Fall by Rob - Chapters 16-20

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

This weekend's chapters were 16-20, carrying on where we left off. We're at the bit I remember reading the first time around - except that I remember it differently!*g*

This week's installment begins with Bodie being pleased that Doyle is asking around and looking into the idea of working with the B Squad when he gets married - although he would have been less pleased if he knows how little Doyle likes the idea...

This week's episode is Mixed Doubles, slipped in a very AU way into the story. The lads are off to train with Macklin, who can still easily beat Doyle. He can beat Bodie too, but only because Macklin doesn't go all out to summon Bodie's real strength - otherwise, we're told, Bodie would win. Macklin finally manages to get Doyle's killer instincts up by attacking Bodie - although of course Doyle still loses to Mackin. He also doesn't understand why Mackin went for Bodie with a knife - until Bodie explains it to him.

And then it's the Parsali op - Doyle is on edge, and irritating everyone there by prowling around checking the security. He's surprised that Bodie can take it all so calmly. In the end Doyle was right - the villains were hiding inside the house all the time, and the lads save the day.

Nor is everything ideal in the world of Ray-and-Ann in general - Ann isn't feeling well, and it turns out she might be pregnant. It also turns out that's something neither of them want, and they're both incredibly relieved when it's finally confirmed as a false alarm. Ann has been offered a promotion in America, and Doyle hasn't been pleased with the idea of being downgraded from the A Squad, and it finally looks like things are twisting back to the way they should be.

Enter Charles Holly, Ann's estranged father. It turns out that he's not entirely sane, and his task du jour is to kill Ray Doyle. Seeing Ray nipping out to the shops in his hooded jacket he seizes the moment and plants a bomb in his car - only it wasn't Doyle at all, it was Ann who'd gone out, borrowing Doyle's jacket, and she's killed immediately. Holly realises what's happened and heads back to finish the job off - he manages to catch Doyle by surprise, thinks he's killed him, and drags the body away to hide in a secret compartment behind the walls at his place. He then has a heart attack in the middle of a field - leaving Doyle to eventually come around with a broken arm and ribs, amongst other injuries, in the blackness of a confined space, entirely alone and trapped.

Of course they finally find him - and it turns out that Charles Holly was behind Doyle's original imprisonment as well as his current one. He'd planned to murder him then too, but again had killed someone else by accident - so framing Doyle was the next best thing.

Doyle recovers slowly in hospital, from being in a coma to waking up with no memory of what had happened, to being furious when he finds out that Ann has been dead for two weeks before Bodie tells him. He takes himself off, and the only person who can work out where he's gone turns out to be Cowley - giving Bodie something to think about. Bodie had, however, seen all his fellow agents mobilise to try and find Doyle, realising that they'd not given him a fair chance right from the start, so perhaps things are going to start looking up. Doyle is taken to the Beeches to convalesce, and we can only wait to see how it all works out... *g*

You can probably guess from the tone of my review what I'm going to say. Hopefully not at length, because I've said it before, but - I'm still struggling with this incompetent Doyle! Although it's not even that he's incompetent - he knew there was something wrong on the Parsali op - it's more his lack of confidence and background knowledge, which I just don't see in canon. The Doyle I see is an experienced police officer, member of the drug squad, and human being! He's confident of his own abilities and he's interested enough in other people that he can work things out. I know he's had all this knocked out of him in the story via the imprisonment, but...

And we're still getting super-Bodie in so many ways - to the point that apparently Macklin doesn't even try properly with him, because Bodie would beat him easily. No! This is Macklin! He knows tricks to trick people's tricks! He was undercover in Hong Kong, an agent himself, and he built himself back up from being smashed - he's not just some random guy! And much as I love Bodie, it's canon that he'd never been on a stake-out until... well, Stake-Out *g*

Oddly enough, I remember Doyle-trapped-in-the-wall as taking up so much more of the story, and being so much more dramatically written - I wonder why that is! I also remember Ann Holly being blown up in her car, but I thought that was in a different story entirely. How strange!

Anyway - enough from me - what did you think? *g*

And that's where we are now

Comments

[tinturtle]

I'm still struggling with this incompetent Doyle! Although it's not even that he's incompetent - he knew there was something wrong on the Parsali op - it's more his lack of confidence and background knowledge, which I just don't see in canon. The Doyle I see is an experienced police officer, member of the drug squad, and human being! He's confident of his own abilities and he's interested enough in other people that he can work things out.

I agree that Doyle is not exactly helpless or incompetent in these chapters. Yet he still has this passivity to him. The story is about things happening to Doyle, rather than Doyle making things happen. The way the episode with Charles Holly comes almost out of the blue is of a piece with that, although there were enough hints earlier in the story that I was mostly willing to accept the sudden twist.

Overall, I like the way Ann Holly is presented in this story. It's easy for readers not to like her because she cut ties with Doyle when he was imprisoned and because she is standing in the way of Ye Olde OTP. I think she gets to be a more human character than in many fics, though (to say nothing of canon). She has goals and understandable, sometimes complex reactions to events. As far as her response to Ray's imprisonment goes, I can see her point of view. She believed him guilty when confronted with overwhelming evidence. And if he was guilty, then he was not at all the person she had thought he was. Just wanting to put that kind of deception out of her mind was very natural. The fact that she wants to resume her relationship with Ray, but can't quite recapture the connection they once had is believable, as well. I also like her ambivalent reaction to her possible pregnancy and her desire to continue her career, even if Ray both resents and disapproves of it ("A nanny!"). That whole subplot and its associated scenes are well done, I think.

One thing I found a little weird, although it has no particular relevance to the plot, was the way everyone seems to assume that Doyle knew Ann was dead before he entered a coma. In fact, I'm pretty sure he didn't, and it just seemed strange that the possibility never occurs to anyone in the story. They are all wondering when he will remember, not whether he knows. *shrug*

Finally, I am uncertaion about the meaning of the following passage:

"You didn't sleep much last night, did you?"

"Last night," he agreed. "And the night before that, and not that much the night before that either. God, I'm really kna--tired," he amended at the last minute.

I'm pretty sure he was about to say "knackered," which is a word I've learned from various British media, but I'm not sure why he stopped himself and what I'm supposed to gather from that. My first guess is that it's about Ann being from a different social class with a different vocabulary and Ray being self-conscious about it. My second guess is that "knackered" is just considered slightly course because it has to do with the disposal of dead animals (or so I assume), and we are supposed to understand that Ann is an uncomfortably prim person who disapproves of course language. The former seems better supported in the rest of the story than the latter.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Yet he still has this passivity to him. The story is about things happening to Doyle, rather than Doyle making things happen.
Yes, that's a good way to describe it actually... I guess he was the one who took the step to go and see Ann again, but even there everything else just seemed to follow-on. And he's so uncertain about everything too... I can see how it comes out of the story as it's been set up, but it grates on me compared to the Doyle I see in the eps — he's almost an original character rather than our Doyle...

the episode with Charles Holly comes almost out of the blue
It does feel a bit like that, especially as the background to the story (including the planes) has to be introduced an entirely different way, since Doyle can't talk to Benny about it all... Although Holly does actually fit into the story and explain what's happened to Doyle. I suppose if you're starting from the premise that Doyle and Ann were together in the first place then things did have to be very different... And I seem to remember that WtF was written in installments too, which no doubt had its effect. I wonder if Rob had the idea about Holly first, or whether it came up as she was writing...

I think she gets to be a more human character than in many fics, though (to say nothing of canon).
Yes, I think she's treated better in this story in the end (well, not her very end, of course...) than she seemed to be at first. I really don't think she's as prim and snotty as so many fics make her out to be — but then I didn't think she was like that in canon either, actually. I found her very human in the ep, and I think it was Doyle who actually treated her pretty badly, even if it was subconscious. She was always open about not liking his licence to kill (and I'm sorry, but that's an entirely fair assessment, if you ask me!) and he was the one who said he didn't like what he did, and implied that he wanted to change himself. Which I think he did — but of course his job is an innate part of him, no matter how much he dislikes aspects of it. I suppose that's what the show's writers were trying to say in general, in fact, that even if we feel bad about it, we need organisations like CI5 (I remain unconvinced that organisations shouldn't be accountable for what they do...) Anyway! Getting off the subject. *g* I thought Ann was human in the show — and yes, but her end in this story too. I'm glad they were both relieved about the non-baby too, and that it didn't get all cliched about that in some way...

I'm pretty sure he was about to say "knackered,"
Yeah, that's exactly how it reads. It's a bit more than "tired" — it's very tired. *g* It's a slightly "vulgar" way of saying it, and was more so in the '80s than now - but it doesn't necessarily imply overly prim or "uncomfortably prim, or even "prim" at all, really. I wouldn't use it with my mum, or in conversation with older people or people I don't know - it's more a level of casual vulgarity that you keep for your mates, I guess. If I was trying to impress, or keep on the good side of a partner then I might feel comfortable enough to start saying it, as Doyle did, but then decide to be "nicer" instead. Maybe that's what I'm looking for - saying "tired" would be "nicer" than saying "knackered", but it doesn't necessarily go as far as being "prim". If that makes sense! *g*

All that said, I don't get Ann as particularly prim anyway, in the ep. Yes, she's nicely spoken, and obviously well-educated and she has a good job — but she goes to the disco with Doyle where, despite wearing jeans etc., they're "the best-dressed people there". And she doesn't live in a particularly posh-looking flat, or fancy-looking neighbourhood when we see her first...

[tinturtle]

I mostly find her very blank in the episode. Short on any kind of personality, prim or otherwise.

As for social class, in this story she is written as coming from a family that doesn't approve of Doyle for reasons of status. (That was my interpretation, anyway. I don't have energy to go hunting citations at the moment.) I agree, though, that such a dynamic is not dictated by canon.

It sounds as if the "knackered" passage is there to show that Ann and Doyle are still not wholly comfortable with one another, rather than either of the reasons I guessed.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I thought she was quite fiesty in the ep. She didn't just accept Doyle and what had happened, she answered him back and stuck to her guns about not liking his job. And I liked her teasing "Thank-you!" to Bodie when they were having the meal - she obviously wasn't going to be awed by him in any way either.

And yeah, she was supposed to come from a status-conscious family in WtF, so it's quite possible she was being written differently to what I saw in the ep. Ultimately the only person who really knows about that "kna- tired..." was Rob, I guess. *g* I dunno about Ann and Doyle not being comfortable with each other though... I think they were just a bit on their best behaviour with each other after the huge shock/relief of Ann's pregnancy test, and maybe knowing that they were about to break up... But that's just my take on it. *g*

I'm always fascinated by the different ways people read stories. I wrote a story once where it was 100% clear to me that everything was going to be alright at the end - only to have someone say in the comments that they'd thought it was a death at the end because of a particular phrase (which to me was entirely about something else, and I double-double-double checked to see how it was being read differently, and had to stretch to see it, so I don't think it was just me being careless in my writing that time *g*) And then of course there's so many stories that I can't read very far at all, but other people think they're wonderful (and presumably vice-versa too)...

[tinturtle]

The story of yours that I found inscrutable recently was On Such a Night. I liked that very much, but I couldn't decide whether it was meant to be a death story or not, or if it was intentionally open-ended.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

And that's just the one that this other person read as a death story, so there's obviously something there that's not being picked up. I can see how it could be read that way actually, but the sirens in the distance (help on its way) and the spring stars (the hope of spring) were supposed to imply that it was all going to be fine. So a perfect example of people reading things differently, and picking up on different things. *g*

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I feel about this presentation of Ann. I guess her father wasn't a baddie in this AU? Seems odd how she dumped Doyle for being a bent cop if her father was a regular spiral staircase. So instead he's a madman of a stereotypically crazy sort. Wanting to kill her boyfriends. I'm creeped out. And it is awfully convenient from a slash point of view. But kind of ... well. A bigger emotional obstacle for Doyle than makes entire sense to me.

[tinturtle]

Ann's father was still a drug runner in this universe, but she hadn't seen him since she was a child, so there was no way for her to know that. I do agree that getting rid of her by blowing her up felt like a bit of a cop out. I was contemplating adding that to my comments.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

getting rid of her by blowing her up felt like a bit of a cop out.
Yeah, it does feel like that in one way, just like the non-pregnancy was an easy way out, and her being offered the American promotion was an easy way out, but on the other hand, as Bodie says - how can he compete against someone who died? Doyle's theoretically always going to feel guilty that Ann died instead of him, and probably also that they were just about to break up and he felt relieved about it... it'll be interesting to see how that plays out, I think!

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

I thought her promotion actually fit into the story nicely. I'd gotten the idea that she was rather ambitious, at least in this story. Not sure how the non-pregnancy worked out. I sometimes wonder if she actually was and was already figuring that things weren't going to work between she and Ray. Otherwise, it's hard to imagine why she thought she was pregnant. Was she having symptoms, even though she wasn't pregnant? Was she late? And why was she late? I mean really late if she still hadn't started by the time of her death.

The thing that sort of threw me out of the story was Doyle being locked in that hidden-hole for six days. On average, people can only go about three days without water. Six would be a huge stretch.

And, yeah, I'm still finding Doyle too passive to be the Doyle of the series.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think the promotion works well as part of Ann Holly - but it could also have been a nice easy "out" for the story, since so much of Doyle's life focused around Ann in this one!

Good point about Ann not having a period for ages... She thought she might be anaemic at one point, which I suppose might explain it, but I think you'd have to be pretty poorly for your periods to stop... Hmmn!

I could go with Doyle hidden away for six days since he was so very poorly when he was rescued, and basically in a coma for a couple of weeks. If he'd been bouncing around all fine after just a few days then I wouldn't have believed it...