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ci5hqLove In a Faithless Country was originally published in Close Quarters, by Deathless Pros Press in 1996. It’s also on the Circuit Archive, the Hatstand, and the ProsLib CD.
It had been a drunken moment. Now, two weeks later, Doyle decides to try for more. He calls Bodie, who’s open to the suggestion. Once at Bodie’s, both mentally vow that them having sex together will never be more than fun. With that silent vow, they go to bed.
Inevitably, it turns into more for Doyle. He tries for kiss, but Bodie is having none of it. Instead of bringing him closer, he starts pushing Doyle away. But after a particularly grueling obbo, they end up back at Doyle’s. Too tired to make a fuss, Bodie allows a kiss before he falls asleep. Big mistake. It makes Doyle think that Bodie wants more, too. Something he’s dissuaded of when he interrupts Bodie getting ready for a date the next night. Bodie wants to keep it fun, no strings. Unable to handle that, Doyle calls it off between them.
Yet life must go on. Doyle copes as best he can, even when Bodie comes onto him during a stakeout. The come on pushes Doyle into a decision; if Bodie won’t love him, then he’ll find someone else who will. It seems to work at first. He meets a young woman, Sarah, at an art gallery; they hit it off and start dating.
Bodie doesn’t like that, so, after getting her name, who she worked for, and where she would be that weekend from Doyle, Bodie goes looking for her. He chats her up and they have a drink together.
But, once again, Doyle moves too fast. Sarah isn’t ready for a serious relationship, and calls it off, without actually saying the words. But Doyle knows what she means. Next morning when Bodie arrives at his flat to pick him up for work, Doyle initiates sex. He doesn’t want to be alone, and if this is the only way for him not to be, so be it.
They continue working together, but things have definitely changed, as Bodie realizes when he asks Doyle to go on a double date. Doyle may be having sex with him, but that’s all he’s doing. Then Sarah tries to reenters the picture. But it’s too late. Besides, she still doesn’t want a serious relationship. Things go from bad to worse when Bodie shows up and Sarah recognizes him. After she leaves, Doyle blows up. He hits Bodie a couple of times and they have a terrible argument. Finally, Doyle walks away into the bedroom, leaving Bodie to lock up on his way out.
The next day they both go to Cowley and ask to be reassigned new partners. Because they don’t give him a clear reason, Cowley refused, but their conversation gives them a fresh perspective on the case they’re working on. All along they thought that the assassin, Brian Matthews, was trying to kill the Prime Minister. Now they realize that his targets are more likely the Prince and Princess of Wales.
They head for the church near the couple’s last stop, and race up the stairs, knowing that’s where Matthews will be. but Doyle is shot and he and Bodie are taken prisoner. Near the bottom of the stairs Doyle fakes a collapse. Matthews pushes Bodie into him and flees, but is shot by Cowley.
Doyle is in hospital for a few days. While he’s there Bodie takes the opportunity to go through Doyle’s flat. He doesn’t rifle through anything, only studies what’s on the surfaces. He finds a photo album. Near the back are photos he and Doyle had taken at an amusement park. They bring home how much Bodie values Doyle’s friendship, how much needs him in his life. How much he loves him. He knows what he has to do.
Doyle is released from hospital. Bodie picks him up and gives him a short apology, preferring to talk everything out somewhere else. Doyle agrees, and they go to Doyle’s flat. Once there, Bodie apologizes again. He tells Doyle about his abandonment by his mother, and how it set into motion his life of pushing love away so that he couldn’t be hurt. Doyle tells him that he loves him, but that he can’t guarantee that he’ll never leave him. Love doesn’t work that way.
Bodie decides to take a walk, even though it’s raining. He sits on a bench in the park across from Doyle’s and wonders about the way he’s lived his life. He wants to change, but doesn’t know if he can. Doyle eventually shows up and makes Bodie go back to the flat.
While Bodie showers, Doyle lies down and falls asleep. He wakes to Bodie at his side. They talk things out and share a kiss, starting the process of repairing their relationship. They’ll be together. It might work, it might not, but they’re both ready to give it a try.
I really like this story. The case they’re on is intense without taking over the story. It’s there when it needs to be and helps to hold the story together, yet it’s very obvious that it’s Bodie and Doyle’s relationship that’s front and center. And while I’ve never insisted there there be a long, involved sex scene, I’ve found that, over time, I need them less and less. So this story not having a full-blown sex scene isn’t to its detriment.
But I do have a small quibble. At the end, when Doyle so wisely tells Bodie that you can’t guarantee anyone that you’ll never leave, I thought, hey, isn’t that what you were looking for? Someone to be with so that you’d never be alone again? That sort of implies that you figure they’re never going to leave you.Which I also thought was a pretty naíve for someone in their mid 30s.
Anyway, it’s a small quibble. Certainly didn’t stop my enjoying the story. So, these are my pros and cons. What are yours?
It had been a drunken moment. Now, two weeks later, Doyle decides to try for more. He calls Bodie, who’s open to the suggestion. Once at Bodie’s, both mentally vow that them having sex together will never be more than fun. With that silent vow, they go to bed.
Inevitably, it turns into more for Doyle. He tries for kiss, but Bodie is having none of it. Instead of bringing him closer, he starts pushing Doyle away. But after a particularly grueling obbo, they end up back at Doyle’s. Too tired to make a fuss, Bodie allows a kiss before he falls asleep. Big mistake. It makes Doyle think that Bodie wants more, too. Something he’s dissuaded of when he interrupts Bodie getting ready for a date the next night. Bodie wants to keep it fun, no strings. Unable to handle that, Doyle calls it off between them.
Yet life must go on. Doyle copes as best he can, even when Bodie comes onto him during a stakeout. The come on pushes Doyle into a decision; if Bodie won’t love him, then he’ll find someone else who will. It seems to work at first. He meets a young woman, Sarah, at an art gallery; they hit it off and start dating.
Bodie doesn’t like that, so, after getting her name, who she worked for, and where she would be that weekend from Doyle, Bodie goes looking for her. He chats her up and they have a drink together.
But, once again, Doyle moves too fast. Sarah isn’t ready for a serious relationship, and calls it off, without actually saying the words. But Doyle knows what she means. Next morning when Bodie arrives at his flat to pick him up for work, Doyle initiates sex. He doesn’t want to be alone, and if this is the only way for him not to be, so be it.
They continue working together, but things have definitely changed, as Bodie realizes when he asks Doyle to go on a double date. Doyle may be having sex with him, but that’s all he’s doing. Then Sarah tries to reenters the picture. But it’s too late. Besides, she still doesn’t want a serious relationship. Things go from bad to worse when Bodie shows up and Sarah recognizes him. After she leaves, Doyle blows up. He hits Bodie a couple of times and they have a terrible argument. Finally, Doyle walks away into the bedroom, leaving Bodie to lock up on his way out.
The next day they both go to Cowley and ask to be reassigned new partners. Because they don’t give him a clear reason, Cowley refused, but their conversation gives them a fresh perspective on the case they’re working on. All along they thought that the assassin, Brian Matthews, was trying to kill the Prime Minister. Now they realize that his targets are more likely the Prince and Princess of Wales.
They head for the church near the couple’s last stop, and race up the stairs, knowing that’s where Matthews will be. but Doyle is shot and he and Bodie are taken prisoner. Near the bottom of the stairs Doyle fakes a collapse. Matthews pushes Bodie into him and flees, but is shot by Cowley.
Doyle is in hospital for a few days. While he’s there Bodie takes the opportunity to go through Doyle’s flat. He doesn’t rifle through anything, only studies what’s on the surfaces. He finds a photo album. Near the back are photos he and Doyle had taken at an amusement park. They bring home how much Bodie values Doyle’s friendship, how much needs him in his life. How much he loves him. He knows what he has to do.
Doyle is released from hospital. Bodie picks him up and gives him a short apology, preferring to talk everything out somewhere else. Doyle agrees, and they go to Doyle’s flat. Once there, Bodie apologizes again. He tells Doyle about his abandonment by his mother, and how it set into motion his life of pushing love away so that he couldn’t be hurt. Doyle tells him that he loves him, but that he can’t guarantee that he’ll never leave him. Love doesn’t work that way.
Bodie decides to take a walk, even though it’s raining. He sits on a bench in the park across from Doyle’s and wonders about the way he’s lived his life. He wants to change, but doesn’t know if he can. Doyle eventually shows up and makes Bodie go back to the flat.
While Bodie showers, Doyle lies down and falls asleep. He wakes to Bodie at his side. They talk things out and share a kiss, starting the process of repairing their relationship. They’ll be together. It might work, it might not, but they’re both ready to give it a try.
I really like this story. The case they’re on is intense without taking over the story. It’s there when it needs to be and helps to hold the story together, yet it’s very obvious that it’s Bodie and Doyle’s relationship that’s front and center. And while I’ve never insisted there there be a long, involved sex scene, I’ve found that, over time, I need them less and less. So this story not having a full-blown sex scene isn’t to its detriment.
But I do have a small quibble. At the end, when Doyle so wisely tells Bodie that you can’t guarantee anyone that you’ll never leave, I thought, hey, isn’t that what you were looking for? Someone to be with so that you’d never be alone again? That sort of implies that you figure they’re never going to leave you.Which I also thought was a pretty naíve for someone in their mid 30s.
Anyway, it’s a small quibble. Certainly didn’t stop my enjoying the story. So, these are my pros and cons. What are yours?
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no subject
Date: 2020-02-01 07:44 pm (UTC)But I do have a small quibble. At the end, when Doyle so wisely tells Bodie that you can’t guarantee anyone that you’ll never leave, I thought, hey, isn’t that what you were looking for? Someone to be with so that you’d never be alone again? That sort of implies that you figure they’re never going to leave you.Which I also thought was a pretty naíve for someone in their mid 30s.
I suppose hoping against hope that you'll find someone you love who will stay with you doesn't preclude being realistic and thinking that they
might not stay? If it was me I'd think that being certain about that someone is almost like taking them for granted,tempting fate and would make them go. I think Doyle is being open, sincere and realistic - he may want things but people do change and maybe nothing is forever?
What has often intrigued me about many Pros stories in general is the insistence that they have to say that they love each other. In many stories it seems that things would end between them unless this stipulation was followed. I'm not sure blokes like them in their 30s would do that.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 01:13 pm (UTC)I don't know, I would think that "I love you" would go along with being exclusive, or why else be? But I don't imagine there would be this big scene, where one demands it of the other. Wouldn't it come naturally, like between a man and a woman? Actually, I was sort of surprised that Sarah was willing to sleep with Doyle, but not be exclusive, given the times.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 01:51 am (UTC)the insistence that they have to say that they love each other
I agree with you about this.
I think (as I said below) that I would add the whole issue over kissing on the mouth. I don't actually know any men from that time period who were in their position, but why is kissing on the mouth such a cliff? Aren't other entrances larger and more serious commitments? (sorry!) I guess that in prostitution it mattered because people didn't generally have a way to have safe mouth to mouth contact... but how did that get conflated with emotional commitment?
I keep wondering how the issue of their dangerous occupation affects all of these reactions they have to relationships... I suppose that they must consider dying in action to NOT be leaving the other, in the sense where they are asking each other (at different points in the story) to promise not to leave? I think I need to reread the story in light of everyone's comments and pay deeper attention to the progression of each of their expectations of the other. In overly simplistic hindsight it seems like they both reach the stage of wanting to only always be with each other, just that Doyle got to that much quicker and had almost left the building by the time Bodie got there.
Another thing that's starting to wear on me is the "it was my mother" excuse! I must be in a really cold-hearted slump this weekend, because I'm just done with it. People have awful childhoods and parents really hurt their kids, yes! but you can respond to that in a lot of different ways. It just seems to be used so often in Pros to explain away awful behaviour... I apologize for complaining all over your thread here! Hope to be more positive and cheerful tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 07:37 am (UTC)think (as I said below) that I would add the whole issue over kissing on the mouth. I don't actually know any men from that time period who were in their position, but why is kissing on the mouth such a cliff? Aren't other entrances larger and more serious commitments? (sorry!)
I was just about to say that maybe it's because mouth kissing is a bit girly and the other entrances are, by association, more blokey? But yes, you're right, why is this? History? The things which have always happened between gay men or two men having sex, but yes, why?
Another thing that's starting to wear on me is the "it was my mother" excuse! I must be in a really cold-hearted slump this weekend, because I'm just done with it. People have awful childhoods and parents really hurt their kids, yes! but you can respond to that in a lot of different ways. It just seems to be used so often in Pros to explain away awful behaviour... I apologize for complaining all over your thread here! Hope to be more positive and cheerful tomorrow.
I agree, it's become one of those cliched responses to anything in Pros, 'oh I'd be OK if it wasn't for my parents....' I suppose we're all influenced by everything we experience in life including our parents, and in their turn they were influenced by their parents, but there comes a time when you have to stand up, be counted and try to be responsible for your own actions. (I know it's hard, though, especially if you've never had a family and were brought up in social care. There, the absence of family probably has a greater impact than actually having one.)
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 03:30 pm (UTC)Yeah, blaming it on a parent will only take you so far. Yet being abandoned by a parent, even by death, can leave lasting scars. The people I know that that was done to never seem to completely get over it, which is the main reason I don't like seeing it used. The problem would very likely persist, even after finding love, creating problems for the two men.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-01 11:07 pm (UTC)Okay, erm... Yes, I like this one!. Oddly enough I was reading another Alexandria story that I interrupted to read this one, and it was interesting to see them so much more side-by-side. I like the way she captures Bodie and Doyle - and mostly Cowley too, although I'm not sure he'd tell the lads that he was proud of them - it was sort of a niggle of theirs in the eps that he never did! But that aside, she has some great dialogue from them in this one, that I can really hear come out of their mouths (interestingly, the other one I'm reading is Summer's End, and I'm cringing in places at some of the dialogue - too many "is all"s and other phrases that are just not quite right. I wonder if this one was written later... *goes to look*... no, only a year between them, according to Circuit Archive, and the same zine publisher... hmmn!)
There's alot of inner monologue in this one, which annoys me in some stories, but Alexandra pulls it off here, I think - maybe because she's got the lads as they really are in other ways, so there's a good balance - I'm not having to convince myself that it's them and that they'd think in a certain way.
Not sure about Doyle sitting down for a cry on the steps where everyone can see him, mind...
But I do have a small quibble. At the end, when Doyle so wisely tells Bodie that you can’t guarantee anyone that you’ll never leave, I thought, hey, isn’t that what you were looking for?
I didn't really see this as a clash, to be honest. I think Doyle wanted Bodie to commit to trying to make a life together, and that's what Doyle wants - someone to make a life together with. But I don't think we're told that he expects it all to turn out with roses around the cottage door forever, I think it's the trying and committing that he's after. Things go wrong and he accepts that - it's Bodie not being willing to try that he doesn't like, and only committing as far as today-we'll-have-sex-but-if-we-stop-tomorrow-I-won't-mind. If something goes wrong, the couple both mind, and it's that level of emotional commitment that Doyle's looking for. Bodie, interestingly, is the one who really expects eternal commitment, in that he rejects the possibility that committing for anything less counts as love at all...
So... yeah, that's me I think, with this one - nice choice!
no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 01:20 pm (UTC)Maybe if Doyle hadn't been so insistent I would think that, too, but he made the same mistake with Sarah. If he noticed small tells from either Bodie or Sarah that they didn't want to commit he appeared to ignore them. For me, it was sort of the other side of the coin to how Bodie was, one pushing love away, the other grabbing onto it for dear life.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 01:24 am (UTC)I also wanted to point out my appreciation of the cut tag,
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 02:08 pm (UTC)I hope this reaction on my part is a one-off, and temporary, because otherwise I will have cut out a large swath of fic out of my life! Again, my impulse is to just shake them both and smoosh them together until they get some sense... I have a hard time accepting that either of them would take their issues this far and this seriously. In my head, they are both far more mature than this.
That said, I like the work plot, I like the way they break the case... Bell tower assassination involving the Prince and Princess?! Doesn't get much more exciting than that. The journey to their understanding each other is beautiful and powerful - it hurts so perfectly... Bodie seeing Doyle's fear for the first time having lost faith in the partnership, the pictures which we can vividly see in our minds, the crying in the rain (ok, a bit over the top, but still!). Sarah is a great character, London is another. The heat between them is sizzling (despite feeling eye-rolley about the whole kissing issue... Why?).
Maybe it's just been a rough week, and I'm taking it out on my reading! I still count Alexandra as one of my favorites - thank you for suggesting it and hosting!
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 03:36 pm (UTC)That said, yes, it's a great story.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 02:48 pm (UTC)Thanks for suggesting this one, and your excellent overview of it.
I hadn't read it in... oh, far too long, and I enjoyed it far more this time too. The first time I read it I think they irritated me slightly with their lack of communication, but now it strikes me as realistic - typical blokey-blokes making assumptions and then retreating to their respective caves when they don't understand one another.
Now I've got to go dig out more by Alexandra... bother! *g*
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 03:38 pm (UTC)100 Days of Happiness 2020 - Day 7 - erm... cold getting better?
Date: 2020-02-02 11:00 pm (UTC)100 Days of Happiness 2020 - Day 7 - erm... cold getting better?
Date: 2020-02-02 11:00 pm (UTC)