Reading Room 2019 XI - Wishbone by Omnishambles

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Our story this weekend is Wishbone by Omnishambles, and as it was written this year (I think) it may be the newest fic we've discussed on here (correct me if I'm wrong). And not that anyone who chats here needs reminding, I think, but don't forget that the author might also come in and read this. Which doesn't mean don't be critical, cos this is a fic discussion of a story posted for the random public to read, but it does mean don't get personal about it. Which, like I said, I know no one here would do and everyone's aware of already, but I'd better say it anyway. *g*

So, now that's over with... *g*

Wishbone begins in 1986, and moves back in time to 1977 and forward to 1991. In those years, Bodie and Doyle began a relationship, Doyle took over as head of CI5 and Bodie left without telling him, and Doyle goes to Scotland to find Bodie and confront him. It's written from Doyle's point of view, and in present tense (which is relatively unusual for Pros fic, compared to other fandoms).

Way back in 1977 it's Bodie who moves to change them from being mates to being mates-who-have-sex together, even though it's Doyle who seems more committed to their relationship, who wants Bodie to stay all night, who reaches out more tentatively, somehow, to a Bodie who's confident about his place in the world and seems to shy away from being too committed.

Then in 1986 Doyle is offered Cowley's job - he will become Bodie's boss - and their world changes again. Doyle is worried about how Bodie feels about it - he says he won't take it if Bodie doesn't like it, but Bodie brushes him off with a laugh - Don't be an idiot. He doesn't want to talk about it. Bodie is still tentative about their relationship outside the bed - when he initiates tenderness with Doyle, Doyle turns the way people do when they spot a deer out in the wild, but Doyle is comforted that Bodie has done it. And then Bodie leaves him.

In 1991 Doyle catches a train up to Scotland, then hires a car to get to the house that Bodie has bought, where he spends time gardening, where he pretends to be a poet. He seems a long way from the tentative being described in 1986, he feels grounded. They have tea together, outside in the garden, Not to sound middle-aged, and its a while before either of them can really talk to the other. Doyle is too full of old hurts, of being abandoned, and Bodie is very aware of having done it.

Of course Doyle works for CI5, and of course CI5 kept tabs on where Bodie was. Bodie knows this too. "I thought you'd be able to find me. Anytime. If you wanted me to." But by the same token, "Five years without a word from you. Just - gone." Somehow they began marching in parallel back in 1986, no matter how much they wanted to be marching together. Eventually we find out that Bodie didn't think they'd be allowed to carry on together if Doyle was head of CI5, not living together, a man and a man. And why couldn't he have told Doyle this, way back then? Why did he leave without a word? "Because if it had been the other way around. If it had been me. I would have picked you."

And there we have it - our heartbreak, our tragedy, our lads separated because they each made choices that just didn't match.

We end 1991 on this revelation, on Doyle agreeing to stay the night with Bodie, because Bodie asked him to - and then we go back to 1977 again. The lads are driving home after their first night in bed together and Bodie is avoiding any acknowledgement of it, and Doyle thinking about it perhaps too much - he's quiet where Bodie is over-loud. And it's Doyle who takes the initiative, who forces Bodie to acknowledge what happened by making it happen again as they're stuck in a traffic jam. "Fuck you for thinking you can hide from me, Bodie. From me. Just as he goes to Scotland to find Bodie in 1991, he finds Bodie in 1977, in the car on the way home after. But where their lives are so fast as to be almost ephemeral back then, they've both been grounded by 1991 - Bodie is "a solid middle-aged man" with a garden that is loved, and Doyle has a desk job, even if it is as head of CI5. Doyle's "From me." seems like a pre-echo of that grounding, that certainty between them, no matter all that happens in between.

There's so much that I like about this story, so many of the little glimpses of them - if I get started I'll never stop, so I'll save it for comments, I think. *g* Because I'm also thinking about time in this story - not just the lads' three years in their lives, but the time the story was written in compared to when it was set, and the different knowledge that time has brought everyone - again, including the lads in the story.

The tense, the movement back and forth through time, and some of the language all flag it as a recently-written Pros fic to me, but it very much works for me, and feels quite fresh and interesting as a result. I suppose it's because the author is much younger than me (which I know anyway but is also indicated in the notes), wasn't even alive when Pros first aired and so sees their world differently, and is also doing so with completely different baggage from the world than older writers bring to their stories.

I do find this interesting - and I think I can see it through the range of Prosfic, which after all has been written over the past forty years now. I think most of us could probably be given three or four stories without author names, and be able to put them pretty much in the order in which they were written. What do you think? Could you?

Some of the language and setting does feel more current than 1970s/80s - a gun-metal grey bathroom in the 1970s? (But maybe I just missed that fad *g*) (Come to think of it - is cold porridge coloured gun metal grey? Not any porridge that I've made, anyway!) Does Bodie say "Hey," as a greeting to people in the eps? Back then? But now that I try to find more examples, I can't, so perhaps it's part of the overall feeling of being written in present tense. There's nothing that makes me stop believing that it's them - it's just that fresh-feeling view that I'm reading.

Mind you, there seems to be an emphasis on what middle aged means - being "a middle-aged man in a thick woollen jumper", and "not to sound middled-aged" about drinking tea in the garden - and then when Doyle starts to feel like everything might be alright, he feels like he's seventeen again and has an urge to start play-fighting as if they were both so much younger. So is this part of what the story's about - what happens as you grow older - or is it just coincidental because that's what did happen to them?

So - what did you think? How did the tense worked for you? Did it have an effect on the story? The three different time points, and the back-and-forth between them? Did you believe in the lads? In the story? Would Bodie really end up gardening in Scotland, if he left CI5? And perhaps most puzzling of all to me (what have I missed?) - why is it called Wishbone?

Comments

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

Starting with the bottom line: Wishbone is marvellous.
I was thinking about the title as well and haven't find an answer yet.

I gave/got myself an English exercise this morning and it's been this story, by accident, of course *g*. I read this story last week and knew, it's good. So it's worth a re-read and think it through intensively.

So here are my thoughts about our story. Partt one - because it's too long *g*

“Sorry, Ray.”
“What for?” he asks. A pause stretches out; nothing said, but he can feel Bodie’s knuckles working against the skin of his waist. “Bodie?”
Bodie shakes his head, leans forward, kisses him. Doyle wants to break away and push him on it, on whatever this is, but Bodie is warm against him and he slides his tongue into Doyle’s mouth. They get distracted. The toast goes cold.
He takes the job on Monday morning - Cowley’s named successor. Two weeks later, Bodie is gone.

So well written and the last sentence hits like a punch.
Then, the story go back to the past and my mind panics. Oh no, no, no. Don't let the lads be separated, at least not for long.
I was captured by the story…..

On either side of the road, there are mountains, or at least steep hillsides. They’re lined with trees all growing at an angle, like they’re tipping towards him. It makes him feel enclosed - but not observed. He can see the appeal of this place, sort of. He wishes somebody else would drive so he could look at the view. His palms are clammy.

The same thing or kind of writing - nice and easy and then, all of a sudden a complete change of mood.

….he says Bodie’s name out loud, into the silence of the car. Just to feel the word in his mouth, so it won’t be a shock next time. To practice saying it out loud.

Ok, I know the reason why his palms are clammy…….iexciting, please go on, but no, changing the year again, I have to wait *g*

There are two stories in Wishbone and due to the next paragraph the second one gets equal powerfully or equally powerful ? (Grammar - grrrr. Think you know what I mean.)

It's a difficult way of writing, if both parts are supposed to end in one story.

“Actually, do you know what? I should go.”
“Ray.”
He looks up – his name, that voice, it still just – stops him. Dead in his tracks. Bodie stares back. There’s something wild in his expression that Doyle can’t name. He looks down and away, and then Doyle realises what it was: longing. But that just makes him angrier. He wants to know how Bodie can look at him like that, how he can dare, when he left.
“Don’t go,” Bodie says, eyes fixed on his unlikely garden furniture. “I’m sorry, it’s just – a shock.”
“Well I didn’t wanna call ahead in case you packed up.”
“I’m not on the run, mate.”
“No?” Doyle’s laugh is horrible, bitter in his own ears. “That’s not how it felt.”

I could feel the tension, the turmoil inside both of them. And I desperately wanted to know why did Bodie leave and Doyle didn't see him earlier.
Maybe the reason is down to the past. So I don't mind getting back to "the other story" anymore, because it's definitely one by this point.

An hour ago, Doyle wouldn’t have dared to push it, but he feels a familiar, almost-forgotten tingling in the pit of his stomach: the old devil rising up in him again. He wants to watch Bodie squirm.
“‘Pip’.”

Yesssss, here we are, on the way to get them back together *smirking*

“Go on though, Bodie - Pip. I mean, bloody hell. What do they think you are, gentry?”
“Look…”
Doyle cackles, delighted. “Oh my god. They do, don’t they? And you poshed up.”

Gentry because of using this name ? Can someone explain that to me ?

Bodie is bright red. He stops walking and covers his face with his hands.

That's a gesture I can't buy. Bodie flushing, with Doyle around ok, but covering his face with his hands, no. Feels a bit strange and unfamiliar.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

"Pip" sounds posh to me too (an American, so maybe completely wrong) ... as if a working man would be "Phil."

I think a wishbone ... I think of it as a Thanksgiving thing because a turkey has a nice big one. You take it out whole as you carve the bird, clean it, let it dry (usually overnight), and then in the morning two of the kids break it. Both make a wish, pull the two ends until it snaps apart, and the side that held on to the center part belongs to the person whose wish will come true. So to me, it speaks of closeness and conflict, a chance you can't predict an outcome for, one winning and one not getting his wish, but lighthearted because, look, we already had yummy turkey! And there are still leftovers!
Domestic turkeys are crazy large, so all the parts of it have this lavish, luxurious feeling. Turkeys are what I thought of when I first heard that birds are connected to dinosaurs.

After my parents' divorce, we started having cornish hens for Thanksgiving, which is an almost comic change of scale, but they don't need the whole day to cook, and we each had a whole one. Two drumsticks! Our own wishbones! I miss it. I wonder if the grocery store has a sale on cornish hens this week.

Anyway I love the story. I can't put Pros stories in order (I've only been reading them about 20 months), but something I enjoy in Prosfic is the ... uncertainty. They love each other but are often uncertain of the other one's feelings, which feels real when they are more or less closeted by necessity. And oh, Bodie, running because he's judging by his own certain choice of Doyle over CI5. *sniff*

At one point of my life, I wanted to do a scholarly analysis of the work of Frances Hodgson Burnett (The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, Little Lord Fauntleroy), so I read a number of her adult books too. There's one that's basically adult Little Lord Fauntleroy, and the found-heir starts reading the dead lord's library to try to catch up with the new culture he's been dropped into. He says to a sympathetic member of thr local gentry that the novels' heros will "half-kill the girl they love" because they're determined not to hurt her. Yeah, Wishbone!Bodie, that's you.

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

"Pip" sounds posh to me too (an American, so maybe completely wrong) ... as if a working man would be "Phil."
Ah thanks. It's quite different in my country. Shorting a name is used by friends. Posh would be : Hello Andrew Philip - the longer the name the better :-)

Thank you for your wishbone explanation. I've never had something like that.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

A great big yes to all the things that you've said up above! You've picked out so many things that really show us the story, and the way Omnishambles pulled us along with the lads, and pulled at our heartstrings in the same way theirs were...

And yes, a "wishbone" is a particular bone in a bird - oh, and I went to look up which bone it is (the furcula, apparently) and Wiki has this really good article on it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furcula). If you scroll down you'll find a picture of one from a chicken - when I was little we would often have roast chicken for Sunday dinner (which was always a special roast dinner of some kind), and my sister and I would pull the wishbone, which was indeed just like that picture! *g* Scroll down a bit further, and there's some folklore about the wishbone - I'd forgotten that it was once called the merrythought, and I love that! *g*

As for "Pip" - yeah, it would be considered a posh nickname over here. Or someone with that nickname would probably be posh. *g* As Jatsapphire says above, a more usual nickname for "Phlip" would just be "Phil". I think the idea is that ordinary people just shorten names as they see them, whereas the English upper classes woud often play around with names, and shorten them in "clever" ways - the start and end and missing out the middle, like this one.

ETA - I forgot this bit!
That's a gesture I can't buy. Bodie flushing, with Doyle around ok, but covering his face with his hands, no. Feels a bit strange and unfamiliar.
I don't have a problem with that - he's been caught out in something that they would both have laughed and laughed at together. He'd definitely blush - and I can see him just stopping and covering his face with his hands in a kind of wry, self-deprecating way. I don't think he's serious about it, he's not actually upset, it's just one of those things you do... I'm trying to think of something equivalent he might do in the eps, but I don't think he's ever really caught out in something... Oh! When he jokes about Cowley/getting beer when he doesn't realise the R/T's still open - he pulls a big dramatic face if I remember rightly! It's more of a grand gesture than anything else - that's what I think the face in his hands is...

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

Part two:

“Not saying anything. Not saying goodbye, and just leaving.”
“I’m--”
“I would never have done that to you. Not in a million years. Wild horses, Bodie. What were you thinking?”
“Will you stop shouting and let me apologise?”
Doyle hadn’t realised he was shouting. He does as he’s told, quiets, and then Bodie puts his arms around him like he’s trying to restrain him. Doyle still isn’t sure if they’re going to fight or what, and then he realises that he’s letting Bodie hold him, arms round his waist, the way you’d hold a girl. He doesn’t care.
He pushes his face into the crook of Bodie’s neck and inhales. It’s all the same. The familiar, indescribable smell of a person’s skin, the way they smell in the morning and beneath their clothes. It’s all just as he remembers it, except that it was never like this, they weren’t like this with each other, they weren’t – tender. Were they? Did he try? He can feel Bodie’s hand holding the back of his neck, sliding up into his hair, holding Doyle’s face there against his neck.
“I’m sorry,” says Bodie. He says it again, and again.

I am slightly struggling with this part as well. But it's so beautiful, I don't mind if it is typical Bodie or not.

The strange thing had started with a gardening Bodie, anyway *g* but why not ?

Writers can be so cruel, the scene on the hill is sooooo touching, I love this mental picture and Omnishambles throws me out of it with going back to the past, to a time emotional pretty different.

“He, ah – handed in his notice a few weeks back,” Cowley had said, apparently very interested in something on the carpet. “He specifically requested – actually, he made it a sort of condition – that you not be told.”
Even then, Doyle hadn’t really believed it. Not til he’d seen Bodie’s flat gutted, cleared out. The aching strangeness of rooms that have been lived in, loved, left in a hurry.

Did I get it right ? There's no reason mentioned ?
How does Doyle feels about Bodie's leaving ? It isn't told either, isn't it ?

BTW, Bodie must have been a good actor or Doyle blind. The time between handing in his notice and the moment of leaving for good is missing. Or better is left to the reader's imagination. I am fond of stories which give me something to think about.

This 1986 part in Wishbone is in some way odd. I can't put my finger on it. Doyle's behaviours, there is something….missing. I don't know how he feels about being abandoned by Bodie.

Back in the present:
Bodie shrugs with his hands in his pockets. He looks at the floor. “Because if it had been the other way around. If it had been me. I would have picked you.”
“I would,” Doyle spits, almost accusatory, and Bodie nods.
“Exactly,” he says.

Bodie looks at the floor while speaking to Doyle - my Bodie would rather aiming Doyle's eyes. Not furiously, more tentatively of course.
And what would Doyle have done ? Who is saying "Exactly" ? Is it Doyle after Bodie's nod ?
Gorgeous scene.

“I think," says Doyle softly. "That's enough. Enough talking now. Let's worry about everything in the morning."

Another jump, surprisingly back to 1977 - the day after their first time - why ?
It would have been a nice ending of this story.

Doyle watches the side of Bodie’s face for hours, looking for – something. And Bodie keeps his eyes on the road, like he hasn’t noticed.

It was the other way round, at the beginning, wasn't it ?

I can't really get it together. But……maybe……

The present: "Let's worry about everything in the morning." and the 1977 part IS one special morning AND after worrying and the result is quite satisfying ;-)

It isn't an open end any more :-) Not for me !

My bottom line again is that this story is marvellous.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

“I’m sorry,” says Bodie. He says it again, and again.
I am slightly struggling with this part as well. But it's so beautiful, I don't mind if it is typical Bodie or not.
I can go with this as well. I couldn't go with him being tearful or weepy about it, but I think he was much more affected by what happened than we saw through Doyle's eyes, and I can see an older Bodie, one who's had to live with all this for five years, behaving a bit differently from the young Bodie that would act before he'd talk.

The strange thing had started with a gardening Bodie, anyway *g* but why not ?
Yes, I thought that too! It's usually Doyle who we associate with gardening - and cooking, as well! I'm guessing it's a way to show how Bodie's grown older and matured, as they both have. That time has passed, their lives are very different now... Though I do wonder how he earns his living now really - or did he have enough money from his bad old days to be able to live on it now?!

Even then, Doyle hadn’t really believed it. Not til he’d seen Bodie’s flat gutted, cleared out. The aching strangeness of rooms that have been lived in, loved, left in a hurry.
Did I get it right ? There's no reason mentioned ?
Do you mean for Bodie leaving in a hurry? I think he gave two reasons for that. The first was that since Doyle had accepted the job, they'd never be allowed to carry on seeing each other, let alone living together - and although we're not told outright, it's implied that Bodie just couldn't live like that, so close to Doyle but without having him. And the other reason is that when it came to it - and Bodie presumed that Doyle understood they'd have to split up (though I don't think Doyle did) - Doyle chose the job, which Bodie saw as choosing to split up. Again, he was hurt by that, and he basically ran away from it.

How does Doyle feels about Bodie's leaving ? It isn't told either, isn't it ?
Again, not overtly - but I think it's heavily implied. He hadn't believed Bodie had really gone, he was in a kind of shock. Little things in the scene with Cowley show how he's been affected but not showing it, like when he says "Who, sir?", not processing at all that it's Bodie who's left. And later, when he's Needing something to do with his hands... I think we see this Doyle in eps sometimes, when they're on separate assignments - like in Fugitive, when Cowley talks about t he wreath they've been sent for Bodie, and Doyle is just very coldly quiet. He's very different when they're actually together though, then he's roaring Bo-die! if he thinks he's hurt, and physically grabbing him to be sure he's okay... *g*

Bodie must be a good actor...The time between handing in his notice and the moment of leaving for good is missing.
Yes... although Doyle sees him as a bit distant anyway, so perhaps if Bodie started to pull away he'd assume it was partly because he was going to be Bodie's boss... But yeah, for Doyle to have no clue...

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

(Rats - my reply was too long!)

Bodie looks at the floor while speaking to Doyle - my Bodie would rather aiming Doyle's eyes. Not furiously, more tentatively of course.
And what would Doyle have done ? Who is saying "Exactly" ? Is it Doyle after Bodie's nod ?
Oh, I like the vulnerability of that scene! Bodie always found it hard to show affection/admit how important Doyle was to him. Doyle is surprised when Bodie doesn't just get dressed and leave after sex, when he comes and puts his arms around Doyle instead. So I can see Bodie looking down as he says this, not being confrontational about it, because I think he feels bad about leaving, too (that's why he says sorrysorrysorrysorry...

The "Exactly" bit of that conversation threw me too actually. I think when Doyle's saying "I would" back to Bodie, he's pointing out that Bodie said he would have picked Doyle, but when it came down to it he didn't, because he left. And Bodie's saying "Exactly" as a kind of confession that he shouldn't have left, he realises that he hurt Doyle just as much as he thought he'd been hurt by Doyle.. At least I think that's how it should be read. (Be interesting to see if anyone else thinks so too!)

And yes! I think the end does circle back to the start of the story as you say - it's the opposite, but the same, Doyle focused on Bodie in the car on the way back. But whereas Bodie was tentative about approaching Doyle, Doyle is so head-on about approaching Bodie in the end - I love the "From me", the idea that Doyle won't let him go. And he didn't, in the end he went to find Bodie in Scotland too. *happy sigh* *g*

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

The "Exactly" bit of that conversation threw me too actually. I think when Doyle's saying "I would" back to Bodie, he's pointing out that Bodie said he would have picked Doyle, but when it came down to it he didn't, because he left. And Bodie's saying "Exactly" as a kind of confession that he shouldn't have left, he realises that he hurt Doyle just as much as he thought he'd been hurt by Doyle.. At least I think that's how it should be read. (Be interesting to see if anyone else thinks so too!)

Ah, now the words Doyle spits, almost accusatory.... make sense. I read it like Doyle wants to say what he would have done if Bodie had stayed. I was definitely wrong with that.

But I still think it's Doyle who says "Exactly"
Don't know why. Bodie is just nodding, without any words - could be the confession and Doyle recognised that.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

But I still think it's Doyle who says "Exactly"
Sentence structure-wise, if it had been Doyle who said it then it would be on the same line as the dialogue tag. Being on a separate line means that it's another speaker.

So:
"I would," Doyle spits, almost accusatory, and Bodie nods. "Exactly," he says. would be Doyle saying it.

Also, "he says" should refer to the last person name, which is Bodie.

But again, just because that's how sentence structure should correctly go, it doesn't mean someone's used it like that!

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

sentence structure
I knew there is something like that - thank you. I promise I'll memorise that.

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

Cim wrote: Even then, Doyle hadn’t really believed it. Not til he’d seen Bodie’s flat gutted, cleared out. The aching strangeness of rooms that have been lived in, loved, left in a hurry.

Did I get it right ? There's no reason mentioned ?
BSL replied: ... The first was that since Doyle had accepted the job, they'd never be allowed to carry on seeing each other, ..., it's implied that Bodie just couldn't live like that, so close to Doyle but without having him. And ...Doyle chose the job, which Bodie saw as choosing to split up. Again, he was hurt by that, and he basically ran away from it.

I wanted to quickly say that I read it a bit differently, although now that I can see this other way of looking at it, I think I may have been wrong. I took what Bodie said (I would have chosen you) to mean that he left because he knew that if he stayed, Doyle would leave the job and choose him. As though he had to sacrifice them for the continuance of CI5. That he didnt doubt Doyle, but believed in him and did the grand gesture for law and order. Which, thinking about it, seems a bit ooc for him, but it still made sense to me. BSL's idea seems more in character.

Similarly, the "Exactly" exchange struck me differently, I think.

But if that was it, why not tell me? Why couldn’t you say all of this back then?”

Bodie shrugs with his hands in his pockets. He looks at the floor. “Because if it had been the other way around. If it had been me. I would have picked you.”

“I would,” Doyle spits, almost accusatory, and Bodie nods.

“Exactly,” he says.

Cim queried it and BSL replied: The"Exactly" bit of that conversation threw me too actually. I think when Doyle's saying "I would" back to Bodie, he's pointing out that Bodie said he would have picked Doyle, but when it came down to it he didn't, because he left. And Bodie's saying "Exactly" as a kind of confession that he shouldn't have left, he realises that he hurt Doyle just as much as he thought he'd been hurt by Doyle.. At least I think that's how it should be read. (Be interesting to see if anyone else thinks so too!)

When I read it, I interpreted Doyle's "I would" in the sense that he's calling Bodie's bluff - I would? Yeah, and I would have, too! As if to say, why are you saying you would have picked me? I would have picked you, too! Then Bodie's "Exactly" takes on the meaning I talked about above, of having left so Doyle wouldnt have to make that choice. So the pressure would be off Doyle. But now he realizes the wrongheadedness of it. I dunno. Did anyone else look at it that way?

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

I took what Bodie said (I would have chosen you) to mean that he left because he knew that if he stayed, Doyle would leave the job and choose him. As though he had to sacrifice them for the continuance of CI5. That he didnt doubt Doyle, but believed in him and did the grand gesture for law and order.

He left for the continuance of CI5 ? Phew.....I would rather believe he knew that's what Doyle really wants to do. It's so important for Doyle, making the world better, so Bodie sacrificed his love for Doyle's sake.

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

I would? Yeah, and I would have, too!
Why didn't Doyle say the whole sentence ? Why did he stop after " I would " ?

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

I agree with both of your interpretations and would add that Doyle’s promotion wouldn’t just threaten their status as lovers, but, irrespective of being lovers, would mark the ending of the partnership and so much of what they had between them: equality, watching each other’s back, a total understanding of the life each of them leads etc. etc. Bodie knows life will never be the same again:

“What?” he says. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to be honest. I won’t take the job if you--”
Bodie laughs. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Doyle hates him for a moment; hates that distant little laugh. “Well I’d find it weird, if it was the other way round,” he says. “I don’t mind.”
“If I was your boss.”
It’s the first time Bodie’s ever actually said the words out loud, acknowledged that that’s what this means……

“I don’t want to turn this into a big thing, but how much longer do you really think I can do this?”
Doyle blinks, uncertain. “Do what?”
“’Active duty’.” Bodie laughs. “I’m pushing forty, Doyle. I’m fucked.”

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

Yes, you are so right, good point. That equality, the partnership, is crucial. Reading the dialogue again, I can see all kinds of nuances that I didn't notice before... Another mark of a good story - it keeps on giving no matter how many times you read it.

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

And thank you for all the times you've responded to things I've said and so thoughtfully, especially when you're very busy! It's much appreciated.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I wanted to quickly say that I read it a bit differently, ... I took what Bodie said (I would have chosen you) to mean that he left because he knew that if he stayed, Doyle would leave the job and choose him. As though he had to sacrifice them for the continuance of CI5. That he didnt doubt Doyle, but believed in him and did the grand gesture for law and order. Which, thinking about it, seems a bit ooc for him, but it still made sense to me.
Interesting! I think it's the "if it had been the other way around" that doesn't quite make sense for me there though - if what had been the other way around, then?

When I read it, I interpreted Doyle's "I would" in the sense that he's calling Bodie's bluff - I would? Yeah, and I would have, too! As if to say, why are you saying you would have picked me? I would have picked you, too! Then Bodie's "Exactly" takes on the meaning I talked about above
I like the thought of Bodie doing that, but again, where would if it had been the other way around fit in with this? Am I missing some possibility that you've picked up on?!

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

If it had been the other way around, meaning if Bodie had been offered the job, not Doyle, then Bodie would have picked Doyle over the job? That's the way I read it, but again, I could be way off!

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

Did I get it right ? There's no reason mentioned ?
Do you mean for Bodie leaving in a hurry? I think he gave two reasons for that.

I was looking for the official reason for his leaving. What did Bodie's notice say ?

it's a way to show how Bodie's grown older and matured, as they both have. That time has passed, their lives are very different now... Though I do wonder how he earns his living now really - or did he have enough money from his bad old days to be able to live on it now?!

Yeah, that's it. The slighly different Bodie is a Bodie without the huge amount of adrenalin in his blood because of his job. Dont't be alerted all the time any more. And getting older is changing a life definitely too.

Again, not overtly - but I think it's heavily implied. He hadn't believed Bodie had really gone, he was in a kind of shock. Little things in the scene with Cowley show how he's been affected but not showing it, like when he says "Who, sir?", not processing at all that it's Bodie who's left. And later, when he's Needing something to do with his hands... I think we see this Doyle in eps sometimes, when they're on separate assignments - like in Fugitive, when Cowley talks about t he wreath they've been sent for Bodie, and Doyle is just very coldly quiet. He's very different when they're actually together though, then he's roaring Bo-die! if he thinks he's hurt, and physically grabbing him to be sure he's okay... *g*

Love your examples *g* yes, that's Doyle, brooding innerly. I was waiting for the question : Why ? Maybe that would be my first question in this situation.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I was looking for the official reason for his leaving. What did Bodie's notice say ?
Ah no, I don't think we're told. I don't think he'd have to give one, either, he could just resign and give notice, so I guess I didn't think about it since we know what his reason was!

[miwahni.livejournal.com]

I actually enjoyed this fic. Until you pointed out the tense it was written in, I hadn't actually noticed, but I think that's because I read in a couple of fandoms that use present tense so it just didn't stand out to me.

I liked that the author was realistic about the period she wrote in - Doyle would have faced incredible difficulty as head of CI5 if it came out (pun intended!) that he was in a relationship with another man, as homosexuality had only been decriminalised in 1967. A lot of fics I've read have Cowley bestowing his blessing on the pair, and that really jars, it seems to me to be so far from what would really have occurred. So I like that the author addressed that. What I did struggle with, though, was Bodie retiring to the countryside. Bodie? really? I can't see him suddenly going all bucolic and rural. But I can see him fleeing from Ray without saying anything (men! They don't communicate!). How did he survive, though? On a pension? Savings? Surreptitious wet work for a different government agency? POETRY???? Curious minds want to know....

I really felt for Ray, though. And I finished the fic feeling that a tentative connection had been re-established, but not entirely sure that it would survive. It's kind of sad, in a way, because the last paragraph makes it obvious that Ray knows how Bodie feels about him, right from the very start, yet he's surprised that Bodie disappears. And then he waits five long years before tracking him down. ( again - men!)

But that line you picked out - with Bodie saying he would have picked Ray over the job - that really got me in the feels. Well he wasn't wrong, was he, in deducing that his care / concern / love for Ray was much stronger than Ray's for him (according to this fic at least!)

And it's after midnight, and I have had far too much gin to really be coherent :-) so I shall leave this here.

[cim3745.livejournal.com]

How did he survive, though? On a pension? Savings? Surreptitious wet work for a different government agency? POETRY???? Curious minds want to know....

Interessting point. I haven't thought about yet. Maybe due to lots of Pros fics mentioned Bodie's savings. I obviously got used to it.

And it's after midnight
Have a good night.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

So nice to see you here again! *g* It's a good story, isn't it! I didn't really notice the tense either, because I got used to reading it in Torchwood (although that was a fair while ago now!) I think it works, myself.

I wondered how Bodie survived up there too! Ill-gotten merc gains, I assumed, because there's nothing that suggests he works, and if everyone thinks he's a poet then how could he... Mind you, starving poets are more common than well-paid ones, so maybe he'd have to work at something else to be realistic! *g* The rural thing struck me oddly as well though... although I kind of like it, because there's no reason why not really (arguably the African countries he was in are more rural than not), and it makes an additional break with his previous life, to help him get over Ray...

I'm less worried about Cowley giving his blessing to the lads (personally) than I am the few fics that have them effectively out and proud in CI5 - I can't see that happening really, though I'm open to being convinced that it's a small enough organisation, directly controlled by one poweful man, that it could happen. But yeah, it not being okay then was also realistic. Hmmn... *wikis*... the first out (as opposed to "outed") MP was apparently 1984, so perhaps we're getting closer - except for the whole pesky illegal-in-military etc.

his care / concern / love for Ray was much stronger than Ray's for him (according to this fic at least!)
Oh, I didn't read it that way at all! After all, it was Bodie who left, and Bodie never tried to re-establish contact, even though he knew exactly where Doyle was. Doyle only knew where Bodie was because he was head of CI5 - if he'd left, then he'd have no way of finding Bodie at all (whereas Bodie could presumably also go to their old friends/colleagues etc.) I have to admit that in Doyle's shoes - if the person I loved left me - I wouldn't go haring after them either. What was he supposed to say, when Bodie had made it clear by leaving that he didn't want Doyle? Bodie could have gone back to try and change it though, because he wasn't the one rejected. Except that of course he was, because he believed that Doyle had chosen the job over him, knowing that he couldn't have both. It's those parallel tracks that we make ourselves, I think, where we think we know what someone thought/meant/did... and that make for excellent, heart-breaking fic when done so well... *g*

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

I am also enthralled by this story - I loved it!
BSL, what an awesome job you do, hosting these - I am so impressed. I don't know how you do it!
Cim, I copied and pasted many of the same parts that you quoted - they are very powerful, beautiful, moving.
I love seeing the story through other eyes, seeing how we all have different points of view and slowly gain more understanding through them? Like BSL, discussing issues of time and age, and Cim, wondering about cultural things... Layering on the meanings and understanding and adding depth.

I don't have enough time for my "real" post about the story (grrrrr) but I had a thought about the title. For me, (locating myself - North American point-of-view, teen in the 80's) a wishbone first brings to mind the chicken bone (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furcula) - just googled it because it's harder than I thought to describe it! The wishing part is what I was thinking of: "The custom of two persons pulling on the bone with the one receiving the larger part making a wish developed in the early 17th century." My family did this when I was growing up, we would "save the wishbone" when carving chicken or turkey, and then wish. The idea of this "breastbone" being pulled in half, separated, and a wish being made, is an amazing metaphor for the story and adds to the bittersweetness. How they break apart, the wishes made, but hope for rejoining.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

Yes! And right over the heart.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

a wishbone first brings to mind the chicken bone
Yes - that you each pull and make a wish! We would often have roast chicken for Sunday dinner when I was a little girl, and my sister and I would get to the pull the wishbone... *g* I should have been clearer - what I really meant was that I didn't know why the story was named after the wishbone...

The idea of this "breastbone" being pulled in half, separated, and a wish being made, is an amazing metaphor for the story and adds to the bittersweetness. How they break apart, the wishes made, but hope for rejoining.
Ah, I didn't get that at all... *g* They break apart - I see that of course, and perhaps even the wishes made, because they've so clearly missed each other desperately, but... did they hope for rejoining? Doyle goes up to find Bodie, but is he hopeful? Or just wanting closure? (Actually, do we find out why Doyle went up there now? I don't think we do...)

I almost wondered if the story was shaped like a wishbone - but even though it ends in 1977 it starts in 1986, so I don't think that's it. Hmmn...

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

Ooh, over the heart, yes, and shaped like a wishbone! Awesome! I never thought of that - the triad. Two arms longer thsn the third join. Hmm, a whole new flavor. Also was thinking about the wishbone being rather crucial to flying ability - wondering if perhaps their broken apart wishbone relationship then takes their wings from them, grounds them, stops their movement forward.

[jat-sapphire.livejournal.com]

That's a lovely reading.

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

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[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this post and the wonderful choice of story. I loved, loved, loved it and read it in the same way I’ve read other memorable stories over the years (e.g. Heat-Trace, Redemption), with bated breath and completely unaware of turning the (metaphorical) pages etc (rare for me). Just when you think you might have tired of Pros fic along comes a story like this one and faith is restored.

Great writing and new, poetic ways to conjure up wonderful imagery:

Everything about him is just less - clenched.

The rage has deserted him, sudden, and he wants it back. He feels tired without it, nothing to lean on.

So perceptive.

Mountains lined with trees all tipping towards him as he drives in the wild of Scotland, make him feel enclosed yet not observed.

More sheer poetry and the dramatic beauty of the Scottish landscape (which can be as much about darkness as of light, a threat or a positive thing) is beautifully observed. When I read those words I thought I know those words, too, they’re inside me and I’ve used them in different contexts but they’ve never, ever come out like that! (A bit like the famous Andre Previn, Morecambe and Wise scene where Morecambe’s sitting at a grand piano playing a piece of classical music and saying that he’s playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order!)

And the angry intimacy of the tea scene in Bodie’s cottage (can intimacy be angry?), so human, so well described. Mature writing.

And thank you for all your questions which really help to focus thoughts:

So - what did you think? How did the tense worked for you? Did it have an effect on the story? The three different time points, and the back-and-forth between them?

I love the present tense and thought it worked well here. Maybe the effect on the story was one of time pressure/immediacy? Even panic? E.g. When Doyle’s driving to see Bodie - will he still be there? Will he want to see Doyle? And I loved the hopping around, timewise. In some stories it can be a hindrance, maybe a bit gratuitous in order to show how skilled the writer is, but here it’s done to good effect e.g. after Doyle sits and drinks tea with Bodie in the garden I welcomed the switch in time because it gave me a chance to pause and breathe but then… the disappointment of Bodie acting just as Bodie would act. I was slightly surprised it ended where it did but only because I didn’t want it to finish, I’d been spoilt and wanted more. But then I was really pleased the author had resisted the urge to put in a final sex scene which would have been odd as she hadn’t had to do it before, the story and her writing style was seductive enough without having to paint a picture (great example of showing not telling).

I think most of us could probably be given three or four stories without author names, and be able to put them pretty much in the order in which they were written. What do you think? Could you?

I’d like to think I could but in reality I’ve never been able to (maybe with the exception of Asymphototropic?!!!) On a wider scale, though, when I was reading the story it did make me think of fashions in writing Pros - waves of different styles - and how, if at all, writing has changed since the early 80s. (I think you hint at this.) But in trying to categorise stories you immediately come up with stumbling blocks which defy categorisation e.g. I can’t imagine some Jane/Kathy keegan stories being written today and yet you can find older stories e.g. Rimy and Shoshanna, which I *can* imagine in contemporary times (admittedly they're not *that* old).

Sorry, I'd love to write more but just don't have the time at the moment but thank you for this rec, it was great!

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

I love your commentary and ideas, S2K... Beautifully expressed about a beautifully written story. I will remember your comparison to the piano playing - brilliant! Yes, the language and choices are so lush and poignant, and unexpected. Loved it.

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you!

Yes, the language and choices are so lush and poignant, and unexpected.

'Unexpected' - yes, that's it! Unexpected and yet fitting, too, an imaginitive combination.

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

There have already been so many great posts about this one that it seems silly to add more - I agree with so much if what's already been said! But... here a few bits that struck me, really got to the heart of it for me - that reveal those inner layers, the core of how much they belong together. One wishbone, two men.

His body still knows Bodie’s instinctively: watching him, the movement every muscle is as familiar as the words of a book that Doyle has read and re-read.

He looks up – his name, that voice, it still just – stops him. Dead in his tracks.

He can tell Bodie is following without hearing his footsteps, he just knows. He’s missed this: the just knowing.

These words all speak so deeply to the ineffable quality of their relationship. And it still seems that powerful, even when obviously it's cracked apart and broken.

I also loved this thought - it hadn't occurred to me before. It almost reveals more about Doyle than it shows about Bodie.

... suddenly it occurs to him that the time since he left CI5 must have been the first since he was a teenager in which Bodie’s body has belonged solely to himself. 

I didnt really notice the tense until it was brought up here, but I agree that the style and format make the story feel fresh, modern somehow. Not in a way that made it feel foreign to the Pros - it works beautifully for me. I somehow doubt I could decipher the time a fic was written, as discussed above. Some things, I think, have changed - like socially acceptable issues and how they are written... The game, rape, sexism, etc. Maybe it has to do with a level of maturity, or self awareness. But then I think of authors who wrote in that first wave and they remain incredibly modern feeling and completely appropriate to me, like Sebastian.  Lots to think about.

In this story, I've been surprised by how much I see differently each time I read it, after hearing other people's thoughts. The first time, I had utter faith in Doyle as narrator - accepted his interpretations with a few obvious differentiations. Then, seeing more of where Bodie is, what he might be thinking, why Doyle percieves him a certain way... And puzzling over those crucial interchanges, too. Love it.

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

There have already been so many great posts about this one that it seems silly to add more

There can never be too many comments and you always add something new.

His body still knows Bodie’s instinctively: watching him, the movement every muscle is as familiar as the words of a book that Doyle has read and re-read.

That *is* a memorable sentence, one which I loved when I read it. And I could picture it. Just imagine.... Bodie in your kitchen doing the dishes!

He can tell Bodie is following without hearing his footsteps, he just knows. He’s missed this: the just knowing.

Oh yes, that *is* it when you miss someone, missing the (apparently but not really) mundane things which you would never normally think about, until they're not there any more.

These words all speak so deeply to the ineffable quality of their relationship. And it still seems that powerful, even when obviously it's cracked apart and broken.

Agreed.

I also loved this thought - it hadn't occurred to me before. It almost reveals more about Doyle than it shows about Bodie.

... suddenly it occurs to him that the time since he left CI5 must have been the first since he was a teenager in which Bodie’s body has belonged solely to himself.

I really liked that sentence too, but I'm not sure if it was for the same reasons! It just seemed to demonstrate how much Doyle really cared for Bodie, irrespective if they were together or not, but cared for him as a person in his own right, before and after their time together. Bodie was now no longer under the control of SAS, CI5 etc but finally was free of life's constraints.

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

That *is* a memorable sentence, one which I loved when I read it. And I could picture it. Just imagine.... Bodie in your kitchen doing the dishes.
Yes! And we do get some very memorable moments with them in kitchens. Why does nothing remotely like this ever happen in *my* kitchen?!

Oh yes, that *is* it when you miss someone, missing the (apparently but not really) mundane things which you would never normally think about, until they're not there any more.
So true.
It just seemed to demonstrate how much Doyle really cared for Bodie, irrespective if they were together or not, but cared for him as a person in his own right, before and after their time together. Bodie was now no longer under the control of SAS, CI5 etc but finally was free of life's constraints.
I think we were thinking along the same lines. For Doyle to be thinking along these lines about Bodie shows a real depth and maturity, maybe an unselfish love, to see and care about Bodie in this way, irrespective of how it impacts Doyle...

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I had it right! And yes, an unselfish love. That's what it's all about between them.