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ci5hqTitle: Dancing in the Rain
Author: Istia (aka Nell Howell)
Link to story: Online at AO3: Dancing in the Rain
Pairing: Doyle, OC; B/D
This week’s story is Dancing in the Rain by Istia (Nell Howell)
Before we start, I would strongly suggest that if you haven’t already read this story, you do so before you jump into this discussion. There is a “surprise” in the story that I’d hate to ruin for you. You need to experience it yourself to really feel the impact.
So you’ve been warned:
Note: This may be a bit disjointed. RL has thrown me some curves this week, but I wanted to make sure I had a post. So if it seems a bit disorganized, I apologize. Not sure I’ll have much time to join in the discussion – but I hope I’ve given you all enough to chat about! So, enough whining – onto our story…
Let me say straight away that I love this story because of the ending scene. It is one of the most moving, romantic, tear-inducing passages I’ve ever read. And the image haunts me still.
Bodie stood, Doyle nestled in the crook of his arm, the long body draped over his other arm… in the center of the small garden, the figure in his arms a beacon to draw the eyes… The pale disk of the face lifted at last, glistening instantly with damp wetness like tears soaking him. When the pretty, wide eyes, blinking in the torrent, meshed with the steady gaze above, Bodie moved. He turned slowly in a circle, sturdy legs wide set to steady himself and his burden. Turned slowly, so slowly, but steadily and gracefully and sweetly in the rain, dancing with his Doyle…” I tear up every time I read this!
That being said, there were a few things that bothered me. The writing is beautiful, evocative and lush. But therein lies a bit of the problem for me. The first time I read this, I thought the POV, at the start of the story, was Bodie. And I just couldn’t mesh the flowery observations of the narrator with that man. A “robin-egg-blue blue sky dotted with cotton-wool clouds…birch leaves, strewn across the pavement like gold doubloons…crunched into a sprinkling for fairy dust…” It is beautiful prose and very poetic, but would someone chasing down villains be noticing any of this?!
The references to the “formal garden of rhodos and laurel…spiny armed pines and late-blooming roses” do serve a purpose. After Ray is injured the birch leaves change from “emerging green caterpillars”, to “captive butterflies”, to a “messy carpet of nature’s detritus, awaiting in vain…” and finally to “the bleakness of bare branches, denuded lives”. All of this perfectly echoing the hopes of the narrator and the state of Ray Doyle. “There was neither green nor gold in him now; just twigs and silence, and a greyness over all.” The botanical references do form a strong metaphor for what is going on in the story, and at the end it provides some hope that all will be well:
"and I stood, watching the odd, perfect pair…in a rain that presaged the unfurling of new life on bare-twig trees.”
I was totally surprised to find out that it wasn’t Bodie who was telling us this story. (Maybe I'm just a little slow! *g*) The way that fact was revealed was superbly done. Just a quiet whisper from Ray turns the story upside down and we see that it is not Bodie who is taking care of him, but Stuart:
”…if you’ll just get on your feet again, mate. Just help me help you, and we could dance all night.”
The eyes wide and candid, too clear in the pale January light, settled on me with a sad knowingness.
“Poor Stu,” the husky voice murmured, utterly tender, as Doyle had never spoken to me before…”
The main issue for me is the lack of an explanation for why Bodie abandoned Ray. And yes, I do feel it was an abandonment. There is not one reason for that abandonment that I can come up with that rings true to “my” Bodie. Was he unable to face Doyle’s injuries and their consequences? Did he fear Ray was going to die, and he ran from that? Canon Bodie is not a coward and he faced all these things (think Discovered in a Graveyard) and didn’t leave Ray on his own. This just isn’t Bodie, to me.
But their “reunion”, if you will, is handled in true Doyle/Bodie fashion. Bodie shows up at Doyle’s bedside after their long, unexplained separation and all Ray says to him is:
”You’re wet,” Doyle said, in a voice that was a croak of sound, weak and dazed.
“It’s raining,” Bodie murmured, bent close, both hands touching, his body a shield…”
That is SO the lads to me!
The subtle revealing of Bodie’s emotions are almost painful to read: the glaring at Stuart when he first arrives at Doyle’s , the pain in his face when he realizes what he’d done when he walked away, the need he expresses when he’s “dancing” with Ray. This was all beautifully portrayed.
I don’t feel sorry for Stewart, because his selfishness possibly cost Ray a chance at the doctor’s “full recovery”. Call me hardhearted, but I think he deserved the ending:
"Excluded and alone, I stood and I watched and I witnessed."
The author was very adept at including all kinds of detail and imagery that made the story a joy to read and give the reader insight to how the characters felt without saying it directly. A few examples, first of Stuart caring for Ray “There were already thick socks on Doyle’s feet; always had cold feet, Doyle did.” Then a scene to wrap up the situation between Stuart and Doyle: “The [Christmas] tree…sat drooped and shedding on the table… The angel atop was askew. Had been for days. I noticed it every time I looked at the bloody thing, but Doyle never mentioned it. Doyle probably hadn’t noticed it, askew or not.” And just one mention of Ray’s missing Bodie, but a powerful one: “To Doyle, the fact of Bodie’s desertion was a fissure into which he’d fallen and never managed to climb back out again.” I best stop here or I’ll have posted the whole story!
This was a wonderful story and if she had just included even a hint as to why Bodie had left Ray, I would have called it perfect!
There is a sort of prequel Lone Dancer , not necessary to follow this story, and in fact may spoil the surprise if read first, but it does contain some very interesting characterizations of our lads. I enjoyed that one too.
Some questions to ponder:
Did you think it was Bodie’s POV on first read?
Why did Bodie leave, and was it justified – was this not being explained in the story an issue for you as a reader?
Why did Doyle accept Stuart’s attentions? Was that believable?
While gorgeous, did the flowery writing style detract from the story – was it overdone?
What are you feeling toward Stuart? Was he a surprise to you?
Author: Istia (aka Nell Howell)
Link to story: Online at AO3: Dancing in the Rain
Pairing: Doyle, OC; B/D
This week’s story is Dancing in the Rain by Istia (Nell Howell)
Before we start, I would strongly suggest that if you haven’t already read this story, you do so before you jump into this discussion. There is a “surprise” in the story that I’d hate to ruin for you. You need to experience it yourself to really feel the impact.
So you’ve been warned:
Note: This may be a bit disjointed. RL has thrown me some curves this week, but I wanted to make sure I had a post. So if it seems a bit disorganized, I apologize. Not sure I’ll have much time to join in the discussion – but I hope I’ve given you all enough to chat about! So, enough whining – onto our story…
Let me say straight away that I love this story because of the ending scene. It is one of the most moving, romantic, tear-inducing passages I’ve ever read. And the image haunts me still.
Bodie stood, Doyle nestled in the crook of his arm, the long body draped over his other arm… in the center of the small garden, the figure in his arms a beacon to draw the eyes… The pale disk of the face lifted at last, glistening instantly with damp wetness like tears soaking him. When the pretty, wide eyes, blinking in the torrent, meshed with the steady gaze above, Bodie moved. He turned slowly in a circle, sturdy legs wide set to steady himself and his burden. Turned slowly, so slowly, but steadily and gracefully and sweetly in the rain, dancing with his Doyle…” I tear up every time I read this!
That being said, there were a few things that bothered me. The writing is beautiful, evocative and lush. But therein lies a bit of the problem for me. The first time I read this, I thought the POV, at the start of the story, was Bodie. And I just couldn’t mesh the flowery observations of the narrator with that man. A “robin-egg-blue blue sky dotted with cotton-wool clouds…birch leaves, strewn across the pavement like gold doubloons…crunched into a sprinkling for fairy dust…” It is beautiful prose and very poetic, but would someone chasing down villains be noticing any of this?!
The references to the “formal garden of rhodos and laurel…spiny armed pines and late-blooming roses” do serve a purpose. After Ray is injured the birch leaves change from “emerging green caterpillars”, to “captive butterflies”, to a “messy carpet of nature’s detritus, awaiting in vain…” and finally to “the bleakness of bare branches, denuded lives”. All of this perfectly echoing the hopes of the narrator and the state of Ray Doyle. “There was neither green nor gold in him now; just twigs and silence, and a greyness over all.” The botanical references do form a strong metaphor for what is going on in the story, and at the end it provides some hope that all will be well:
"and I stood, watching the odd, perfect pair…in a rain that presaged the unfurling of new life on bare-twig trees.”
I was totally surprised to find out that it wasn’t Bodie who was telling us this story. (Maybe I'm just a little slow! *g*) The way that fact was revealed was superbly done. Just a quiet whisper from Ray turns the story upside down and we see that it is not Bodie who is taking care of him, but Stuart:
”…if you’ll just get on your feet again, mate. Just help me help you, and we could dance all night.”
The eyes wide and candid, too clear in the pale January light, settled on me with a sad knowingness.
“Poor Stu,” the husky voice murmured, utterly tender, as Doyle had never spoken to me before…”
The main issue for me is the lack of an explanation for why Bodie abandoned Ray. And yes, I do feel it was an abandonment. There is not one reason for that abandonment that I can come up with that rings true to “my” Bodie. Was he unable to face Doyle’s injuries and their consequences? Did he fear Ray was going to die, and he ran from that? Canon Bodie is not a coward and he faced all these things (think Discovered in a Graveyard) and didn’t leave Ray on his own. This just isn’t Bodie, to me.
But their “reunion”, if you will, is handled in true Doyle/Bodie fashion. Bodie shows up at Doyle’s bedside after their long, unexplained separation and all Ray says to him is:
”You’re wet,” Doyle said, in a voice that was a croak of sound, weak and dazed.
“It’s raining,” Bodie murmured, bent close, both hands touching, his body a shield…”
That is SO the lads to me!
The subtle revealing of Bodie’s emotions are almost painful to read: the glaring at Stuart when he first arrives at Doyle’s , the pain in his face when he realizes what he’d done when he walked away, the need he expresses when he’s “dancing” with Ray. This was all beautifully portrayed.
I don’t feel sorry for Stewart, because his selfishness possibly cost Ray a chance at the doctor’s “full recovery”. Call me hardhearted, but I think he deserved the ending:
"Excluded and alone, I stood and I watched and I witnessed."
The author was very adept at including all kinds of detail and imagery that made the story a joy to read and give the reader insight to how the characters felt without saying it directly. A few examples, first of Stuart caring for Ray “There were already thick socks on Doyle’s feet; always had cold feet, Doyle did.” Then a scene to wrap up the situation between Stuart and Doyle: “The [Christmas] tree…sat drooped and shedding on the table… The angel atop was askew. Had been for days. I noticed it every time I looked at the bloody thing, but Doyle never mentioned it. Doyle probably hadn’t noticed it, askew or not.” And just one mention of Ray’s missing Bodie, but a powerful one: “To Doyle, the fact of Bodie’s desertion was a fissure into which he’d fallen and never managed to climb back out again.” I best stop here or I’ll have posted the whole story!
This was a wonderful story and if she had just included even a hint as to why Bodie had left Ray, I would have called it perfect!
There is a sort of prequel Lone Dancer , not necessary to follow this story, and in fact may spoil the surprise if read first, but it does contain some very interesting characterizations of our lads. I enjoyed that one too.
Some questions to ponder:
Did you think it was Bodie’s POV on first read?
Why did Bodie leave, and was it justified – was this not being explained in the story an issue for you as a reader?
Why did Doyle accept Stuart’s attentions? Was that believable?
While gorgeous, did the flowery writing style detract from the story – was it overdone?
What are you feeling toward Stuart? Was he a surprise to you?
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no subject
Date: 2012-01-26 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-26 06:04 pm (UTC)You made some really good points - I hadn't thought out the imagery like that, for a start! The flowery language did work for me. Because it was so at odds with what was being described, it gave the whole story a dreamlike flavour. I didn't mind that at all.
Bodie's departure: is it as simple as this? "Why Bodie had left that day had never been clear to me, but I'd hidden deep in my cache of secret guilts and resentments the inkling that Doyle was a trust I was being offered, not the gift I had convinced myself he was." Is this the idea that if you really really love someone, and they love someone else more, you let them go? And Doyle had been entrusted to him by one who loved him that much?
Want to think about some of the other questions. (Actually, no, I want to dive in now, but I must go. Woe.)
no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 04:14 am (UTC)About loving and letting go - yeah, if it weren't Bodie doing the letting go. I keep coming back to DIAG, there was no hint that Bodie wasn't going to stick with Doyle, that he'd let someone else take care of him. (I know, they are only partners, not lovers in canon...)Bodie's leaving just doesn't fit with my vision of the man.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-26 06:48 pm (UTC)What Doyle had only and always needed, and needed now, was someone he could be strong for.
"'s all right now," I heard Doyle murmur, the sound threading like a lullaby through the pulse of the rain all around us, tender and strong with promise. "I'm here. I've got you."
And not just those lines but the notion that Bodie could/would leave Doyle at the time that he did. Again, just the thought of that and what Doyle might have been thinking, is too sad to contemplate.
While gorgeous, did the flowery writing style detract from the story – was it overdone?
I haven’t read it for ages and while it certainly didn’t in the past (not like M Fae Glasgow’s style of writing which nearly always distracts me from the actual telling of the story) who knows if I read it today I might find that it did, but I don’t think I want to find out because I’d like my memory of it to remain a good one.
Did you think it was Bodie’s POV on first read?
Yes, definitely.
Why did Bodie leave, and was it justified
I don’t know if ‘justified’ is a word I’d choose.....understandable, perhaps? Given the kind of man Bodie is, the kind of friend and partner who would slay dragons for Doyle but who might not be able to help him in this kind of way; and given the equality which is intrinsic to their relationship, the physical nature of their lives etc. etc. their relationship would be drastically altered and perhaps this was just too much for Bodie to bear (and for Doyle to see him having to bear it). A bit like the female character in Butch Cassidy who says she’ll stay to wash and cook for them, but she ‘won’t watch them die’. Perhaps he left because in a roundabout kind of way he thought it might actually help Doyle? i.e. not to have Bodie stay and pity him? Not to be dependant on Bodie? To have their relationship unaltered? Dunno. I think part of the answer might lie in these lines:
That I'd betrayed Bodie's implicit trust that I could be what Doyle needed, that I would know how to look after him.
Cocked it up, that was the truth. I thought I loved Doyle, but loved myself more. Hurt him, that's all. That's all.
Arguably it's *because* Bodie loves Doyle more than himself, more than life itself that he did what he thought was the best thing for *Doyle* .
was this not being explained in the story an issue for you as a reader?
No, not an issue, I was more than happy with the author not providing an explicit explanation for Bodie's absence. I like being treated as an adult, I like trying to work out the sub-text, and I like being allowed to work towards and (hopefully) to arrive at my own interpretation which may be the same as the author's but I don't think necessarily have to be.
What are you feeling toward Stuart? Was he a surprise to you?
Yeah, too true(!) he was a surprise as I’ve never liked him much and felt he didn’t look the kind of person who would care for anyone. Unlike Jax who I can see as patient and thoughtful enough to help Doyle in this kind of situation.
I've really enjoyed these questions, they help to concentrate the mind!
Thanks for this, a good choice for a discussion and a good review!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 04:19 am (UTC)I didn't necessarily want an explicit reason for Bodie's leaving. I too like to try to "figure out" some of what's happening. but a hint would have been nice!
Thanks for joining in!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-26 08:03 pm (UTC)I don't think I ever thought it was from Bodie's POV, even on the very first read through. I wasn't quite sure what had happened - why had Bodie left? - but the language and the POV fitted, in that it wasn't Bodie. The dreamy, flowery prose was so alien to my view of canon Bodie that it could never have been him telling the tale.
I think Bodie thought it was the right thing to do, that he loved Doyle so much that he thought handing over Doyle to Stuart was the best thing for Doyle. However, I'm unconvinced about why Doyle gave up and accepted Stuart up to the point he did. Perhaps the apathy of being with the wrong person just got stronger and stronger - I get the feeling that Doyle has totally given up.
I feel sorry for Stuart, in the end. He knows he has failed and he's just not enough. How sad is that? And, at the same time, I resent him for ever thinking he might be enough and for keeping Doyle from the healing he needs.
It is sad, and romantic, and it has a happy, beautiful ending, with some wonderful images. You're right, the last one, of them dancing in the rain, is one that stays with me.
The final image, of Bodie dancing with his Doyle in the rain, is beautiful, powerful and moving. And the realisation that Doyle is the strong one, in his frailty and broken state, works really well for me.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 04:42 am (UTC)I agree with your thoughts on why Ray would accept Stuart's attentions. I do think it was because he had truly given up, and I blame that on Bodie.
I think my resentment of what Stuart might have cost Ray kept me from feeling sorry for him. Not very charitable on my part (*g) but nobody is allowed to come between my lads! :-)
The final image makes the story for me.
Thanks for your thoughts!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 10:23 am (UTC)Anyway, I don't think I worried about whose POV it was. I was sucked into the story from the first words and I was wondering what was going on, but as I said earlier, it so wasn't Bodie. I guess (it's a long time ago, now) that I read with breathless interest, waiting to find out why Bodie had left and who was this person failing to provide what Doyle needed.
I found it easy to suspend disbelief in this one. The beauty of the words gets to me every time. The ending is also possibly why I can feel sorry for Stuart, because it has all come right in the end and Bodie has his Doyle and Doyle's recovery will now be certain because he is back with his lifemate. Stuart has nothing except the memory of failure.
Great review - well done!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-26 09:16 pm (UTC)The most important thing to me is that Doyle needs to be strong for somebody, and that both Stewart and Bodie didn´t see that at first.
And that´s the explanation why Bodie left Doyle in Stewarts care, because he knows he´s the weak one, he knows he can´t be strong for Doyle and he thinks that Doyle needs somebody to be strong for him. So he takes the most difficult road, leaving Ray to Stewart, and giving him up in spite of wanting to help himself.
Yes, I first thought it was Bodie´s pov, and I too was surprised by Doyles whisper! I was very intrigued by the way "Bodie" kept Doyle for himself, that he was so selfish, but it just made the whole point so much clearer after it was reveiled that it really was Stewart who was the selfish one.
And I so love the poetry like talk about leaves and stuff, and the metaphores are just so beautiful and I´m so totally impressed about this kind of writing, because anything that´s written in this story seems to be written with a purpose, and as shooting2kill already said, it´s all about using your brain!
You really got your fingers on the things Nell Howell "revealed" with her flowery way to describe feelings and stuff!
Doyle´s acceptance of Stewarts attention and care is totally believable for me, and it´s the way he does it, that makes everything hurt so much.
And Stewart - well, I never really thought much about him other than he should´ve gotten Bodie much earlier, but on the other hand it´s perfect timing...like everything in this story is just perfect!
Ambiguously perfect!
Thanks so much for reccing, even though rl interferred, you did a wonderful job. Good thing you did warn everybody!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 04:50 am (UTC)The language and the use of metaphors was brilliantly done, wasn't it? Terrific writing!
Thanks for joining in. I'm glad I picked a story that everyone seemed to like.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-27 11:59 am (UTC)When I started to read this fic a while ago I did think that it was Bodie’s POV but there was something that just wasn’t right, so when we discover that it’s actually Stuart I wasn’t really surprised – it was more of a confirmation!
The prose itself I found a little overdone, especially at the beginning with so much imagery that it threatened to overshadow the story itself, as delightful as some of it was. As Moonlightmead said, the story does have a dreamlike flavour about it, which I think does go some way to explaining Stuart’s actions – he was living a dream. But I have a real problem accepting the way Stuart held onto Doyle for so long that in the end there is a chance it’s too late to save him. I think his actions were too self-centred. If he loved Doyle the way he states in the story he would have acted sooner. However, as the story is in first person pov we only have his word for the reasons for what he did;)
As for Bodie, I’m very unsure why he left and why he seemed to take no part at all in Doyle’s convalescence. It seems he didn’t even check to find out whether or not Doyle was recovering and that just doesn’t seem like Bodie. He may have felt incapable of coping with Doyle’s injuries himself, he may not have been the “strong one of the pair” but he would surely have tried to find out what was happening with him. So no, I don’t think his action fitted at all.
Doyle is a bit of an enigma too. There is nothing in the story that tells us he had any feelings for Stuart, in fact Stuart actually laments that his dream is “one day, Doyle would recognise inside that remote, independent spirit of his a dependence on me, a need for me, an emotional thirst that could be quenched only by drinking at the fount of the love that flowed without cease from me to him.” So why does Doyle accept Stuart’s care without protest? Why, for that matter, does Bodie really leave Doyle in Stuart's care if Doyle has no feelings for him? I think that Bodie’s desertion is the crux of Doyle's lack of will to live, confirmed by Stuart himself in the end. Which leads back to the conclusion that Stuart’s actions were selfish in the extreme!
So, for me, most of the motivations and actions of Stuart, Bodie and Doyle don’t make a lot of sense. However, if you ignore all that, it is a beautifully and very emotionally written story, so while I get a bit of a sense of dissatisfaction with it I also feel the pull of the emotion the story evokes. Of course the end is perfect. The image of Bodie holding Doyle in his arms as they ‘dance in the rain’ and Doyle’s “"'s all right now, .... "I'm here. I've got you." is one of the most beautiful passages I have ever read. And that more than makes up for any quibbles I have about the story as a whole.
Thanks again for the review, I think this fic is probably one of the most thought proving that I’ve read and it’s very interesting to see what other people think of it.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 03:23 pm (UTC)Thanks for your thoughts!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 06:39 am (UTC)When I saw the discussion on the story I decided to read Lone Dancer (which I was originally unaware of) which I enjoyed and it incited me to give 'Dancing in the Rain' another go with fresh eyes. I am with you merentha, I couldn't see Bodie leaving Doyle in cannon or in slash but I totally agree with Margaret when she expresses the following,
The image of Bodie holding Doyle in his arms as they ‘dance in the rain’ and Doyle’s “"'s all right now, .... "I'm here. I've got you." is one of the most beautiful passages I have ever read. And that more than makes up for any quibbles I have about the story as a whole.
I can ignore any personal issues I have with character traits that I feel are unrealistic simply because it is clever, emotional and very compelling. Doyle's statement was quite a relevation to me and totally turned the story around in my mind, got me thinking and analysing. I really enjoyed this second reading much more than the first.
Merentha, you have raised some brilliant discussion points that got me thinking and brought me back to a story that I never really gave a proper go in the first place!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 03:26 pm (UTC)Thanks for joining in!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 08:33 am (UTC)Did you think it was Bodie’s POV on first read? - Yes, absolutely. The flowery style didn't make me think "This can't be Bodie". The "Poor Stu" really came as a surprise to me.
Why did Bodie leave, and was it justified – was this not being explained in the story an issue for you as a reader? - well, early I suggested a "greater love is to let them go" scenario. But we also read that Bodie does quite a bit of thinking at the bedside. Is it possible that this is the first time Bodie realises how deep his feelings for Doyle go? And runs away? (This is not going to be a popular suggestion, I know! - it honestly only occurred to me just now.) Cos he doesn't necessarily know how Doyle feels towards him. Perhaps he's afraid of what happens next - or that it might upset Doyle, or anything. There's no sign of Doyle's feelings towards Bodie in that, either. So there's all sorts of reasons, and the lack of explanation isn't necessarily a flaw to me.
Why did Doyle accept Stuart’s attentions? Was that believable? - Utterly believable. It seemed pretty clear to me that Stuart has given Doyle the impression that Bodie has disappeared and won't be coming back. And that Doyle now has nothing, nothing at all, and has withdrawn totally. Refusing would involve actually engaging with the world again and taking an action. I don't think it's acceptance so much as passivity.
While gorgeous, did the flowery writing style detract from the story – was it overdone? - no, it helped! I wouldn't believe this story if it were told in a more mundane "Three months later, there was no change. It was now..." style because I would be thinking "No no, they can't do this!" But because of the style, I was already reading it as something slightly removed, something to appreciate and experience rather than to think "is this IC, is this canon, is this my idea of them", and letting my mind follow the images and consequently follow the development of the story, rather than arguing with it.
What are you feeling toward Stuart? Was he a surprise to you? - well, I think he's very different from the Stuart we see in First Night! (Although the Lone Dancer prequel does an excellent job of reconciling Stuart of the episode with Stuart of this story.) I think that the story would even have worked with an original character who is a member of CI5, but we know who Stuart is already, so the "Poor Stu" thing works better. If it were "Poor Dave" or "Poor Alistair", we'd start thinking "Who is that?" and spend more time thinking about that than about the point that it is not Bodie.
One final thought about the language - The doctors' urgency had become a sounding brass, warnings timpanning into my brain. Timpanning? Did this strike anyone else as a tricky word? Initially I misread it and thought of tympani. Then Google told me that there are historical references to an instrument in Ireland which can be spelt timpan. So what image are people getting here?
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 03:35 pm (UTC)I like your suggestion that their relationship might have been new and Bodie was scared. But... I still can't see him just leaving, not checking up... that bothers me, but it doesn't, on the whole ruin the story for me. It's just something I wish the author had given us a little clue about.
You are right about Doyle. He did give up. Maybe because there was something between him and Bodie (this doesn't agree with what we said a paragraph up!). Without Bodie, there was no point to healing. So many interpretations! This is what makes the story so fascinating to me.
I thing the "poor" person had to be someone we knew fairly well, or it just wouldn't have worked. Like you said, it would have taken us out of the sotry wondering who that person was and where they came from.
Having spent 7 years with children in marching band, one on a drum-line, I pictured a beating drum. (I have a pet peeve about people "making up" words. I don't know if that's the case here, but at my work, the lab chemists do it all the time, turning nouns into verbs and back again. Drives me crazy!!)
no subject
Date: 2012-01-30 08:56 am (UTC)I love the final image and that has always stayed with me from my first reading of the story. I don't think I ever quite realised it was part 2 of anything so this time I went back and read part 1!
Did you think it was Bodie’s POV on first read?
I don't think I did - obviously this time I didn't - but the first time I read it I thought it was A.N. Other but wasn't sure who. There seemed to be too little connection between Doyle and his carer for it to be Bodie, even given all the circumstances.
Why did Bodie leave, and was it justified – was this not being explained in the story an issue for you as a reader?
I think very 'macho' characters (in 'real life' as well as in fics) often have problems coming to terms with physical injuries, and can't even explain it to themselves so while it wasn't justified it didn't seem to need further explanation for me.
Why did Doyle accept Stuart’s attentions? Was that believable?
I assumed he was in a state of severe depression/withdrawal based on both his physical state and Bodie's departure, and would accept anything at all though he might well have been screaming inside. We don't get Doyle's p.o.v. so we can only make assumptions.
While gorgeous, did the flowery writing style detract from the story – was it overdone?
Some individual figures of speech were gorgeous but the number did detract from the story for me. That's why I never re-read it. When I re-read it for this I found myself counting the images... I understand the way some people find this gives it a dreamlike quality but for me it doesn't - it throws me out of the dream.
What are you feeling toward Stuart? Was he a surprise to you?
Just sad - sorry for him. Sorry that he couldn't ever have his dream and sad that he was so stupid as to think he was going the right way about getting it. Not angry, because 'the road to hell...etc.' but irritated because he took so long to realise what he was doing. And vaguely surprised that none of the others stepped in at any stage. In a way it's a story about how good intentions go wrong.
As others have said, the final image is worth a lot, but it's not one of my favourite stories. But it has been very interesting re-reading and considering why. Thanks for the review and for the thought-provoking questions!