An Advent Calendar of Stories – 4th December 2011

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Shopping Days, or Doyle the Copper Felt Up by M Fae Glasgow

M Fae Glasgow has a unique style and take on the Professionals. While I don’t always agree with the way she portrays the lads, she does a delicious sarky Ray Doyle. Below the cut are a few examples. It is Christmas, but I still can't believe I’m actually reccing a

…not that the elf viewed it quite the same way. The elf was here on sufferance, extreme sufferance, in his opinion. He was supposed to be undercover, but in this costume he felt more exposed than covered. What a rotten fucking way to spend his first Christmas in CI5! The aggrieved thought soured through his mind. But the Cow had spoken…Keep your eyes peeled, he’d been told. More like keeping his ass peeled in this bloody outfit.

And a bit later we get a peek at Bodie’s role

“Ho, ho, ho!” boomed Bodie, red felt trimmed with fake fur reaching out to take the welly-booted five year old from Doyle, an enormous grin visible behind the froth of beard as one of the boots managed to catch Doyle in a very sensitive spot with a very insensitive kick. “Well now,” Santa Bodie boomed on, while Doyle stood cross-legged and cross-eyed, muffled swear words streaming from him to the tune of “Deck the Halls”…

and their getting up each other’s noses

…to see a glossy 8 by 10 photo. And those measurements didn’t refer to certain impertinent parts of his anatomy…It was the pose he minded, and the outfit , and the pristine clarity of the picture that left not a single doubt in the mind of the viewer that here was Raymond Doyle, street rat, former hard-nosed policeman, boxing coach to wild and wooly teenagers, CI5 agent extraordinaire, in his other guise, a.k.a. Mr. Ray the nice elf, done up as the proverbial fairy. Immortalised for all eternity, in glorious colour, photographed from behind, caught in a pose of Betty Grable proportions, straightening the seam on those sodding tights… Doyle wolved off in search of his soon-to-be-late and unlamented partner.

With Doyle’s explosive temper and run away mouth at its worst, a lecherous store manager, a child questioning Ray’s gender and a smirking Bodie we don’t have a warm-hearted, family style Christmas story here! If that’s what you’re looking for, this is not for you! If you’d like to warm some other parts, read on!

Comments

[moonlightmead.livejournal.com]

Oh god, this is the one with the Are You Being Served crowd in it, isn't it? I hate that bloody programme, so it took me a while to get beyond the first page of this story the first time I read it.

I must say, it has improved my opinion of Are You Being Served immeasurably. I can't see it now without thinking of this. :)

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

I don't care for the beginning of the story either, or the "device" she uses to talk to the readers - but once she gets into the actual Bodie/Doyle stuff I'm hooked. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[moonlightmead.livejournal.com]

Oh, re-reading my comment, it might not be clear. Once I got past that first page, I adored it.

"Are You Being Served" was yet another in that long line of British seventies comedies which relied on stereotypes and double entendres, and one character's constant reference to her pussy - the sort that goes "miaow", ho ho, what a laugh - and another's tilt of his head as he waggled his wrist and announced "I'm free", and I just didn't find it funny when it was inflicted on me as a young meadlet.

I found Shopping Days/Doyle the Copper Felt Up very, very funny indeed. As I say, I now can't see reference to Are You Being Served without struggling to keep a straight face.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Oops... I didn't get the "Are You Being Served" reference. One of the disadvantages of living across the pond *g*!

[moonlightmead.livejournal.com]

Trust me. Not a disadvantage at all :)

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

I love M.Fae Glasgow's Prosfic, and I never feel that she's using a "device" to speak to readers, just that she's the active narrator of the story, which is a fun style to read now and then. Plus who can resist a Doyle who's forced to dress up as an elf, or Santa Bodie, or... The Are You Being Served bits always make me giggle, too...*vbg*

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

I love her stories - I don't particularly care for the "active narrator" role. It's just a personal opinion, though.

[roven75.livejournal.com]

When I started reading Pros fic there were only a handful of M. Fae Glasgow's stories I really liked, but I have to say she's grown on me immensely as an author since then. I absolutely adore her wit and wordplay, amongst other things, and this story is no different :)

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

She is a talented writer and wordsmith. I don;t llike some of her characterizations of the lads, but this one I really enjoyed. Thanks for stopping in!

[milomaus.livejournal.com]

Thanks for making me read it again!! Such a wonderful christmas fic! *g*

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it. It is one of my favorite Christmas stories!

[etain-antrim.livejournal.com]

I'm not usually a fan of the Scots writer in her many guises, but this one always makes me chuckle a bit. Thanks for the rec!

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

I have mixed feelings about some of her stories as well, but this one is always good for a smile or two! Thanks for joining in!