[identity profile] moonlightmead.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] ci5hq
Title: No Unicorns
Author: HG and Sebastian
Link to story or zine/ProsLib info: Online at the Hatstand: No Unicorns
Pairing: B/D

Continuing our theme of stories told in letters and diaries, this week we have No Unicorns, by HG and Sebastian. And, lucky me, I get to talk about it. This is one of my favourites.


It's a series of letters between Bodie and Doyle which take place following Discovered in a Graveyard. Doyle is in hospital and has time to brood. He writes with dark humour ("back in the Moments from the Mortuary ward again for a bit", "my heart bleeds") but is clearly weak, ill, and feeling low. Amidst complaints about the hospital food ("horsemeat sausage") and the staff, he tells Bodie repeatedly that he is lonely. Early on, he admits that his libido is at rock bottom and suggests a copy of Mayfair wouldn't go amiss.

Bodie, meanwhile, is on assignment with Anson somewhere in Norfolk. His letters are full of odd details about the assignment and a conscious attempt to be cheerful and entertain Doyle. While Doyle is writing long letters because he has nothing else to do, Bodie has plenty to do but is spending every spare minute either writing ("Am writing this in the car", "Christ, I'm getting sentimental. Forgot to mention, it's 3 in the morning") or haunting phone boxes ("If they told you your father had rung up, don't panic [...] it was the only way I could get any information out of the bloody doctor", "Anson's just handed me a quid's worth of change and told me to dodge Cowley and find a phone.")

They're missing each other desperately and make no bones about it - Bodie initially because he is trying to reassure Doyle that someone does care, and Doyle because he's realised how close he came to never telling Bodie how he feels about him. He recounts the events we see in DIAG: "I went back to my flat and it seemed very empty, very big [...] Even when I was out taking the laundry I was still thinking of you and what you'd say if I came right out with it."

In among the magazines Bodie sends Doyle is one of men, not women. Doyle seizes on this as an opportunity to say the magazine worked, his libido is returning, and has Bodie ever...? Bodie hasn't apparently, but he has started thinking about it. The magazine was a way of testing the water. Doyle responds unequivocally.

But the magazine business isn't really the important part of the letters in question. The important thing is how desperately they're missing each other, which comes over clearly. They joke about love letters, but that is what they are sending even before they admit it. "Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me", "I keep clinging on to that beautiful phrase of yours -- 'Settling down'". It doesn't take them long to admit to each other that their feelings are way more than just concern for a mate, and the letters become love letters proper. "So much to say. I wish I was more practiced at this. Sounds OK in my head." says Bodie, at the start of a beautiful one.

They spill their hopes and feelings and more: Doyle's past history with Benny, how Bodie used to watch Doyle sleeping in the car. They tell each other what they are doing. They imagine they are with each other: "Pretended it was your hands on me". There's a lovely passage about Doyle on his first walk outside and getting worked up thinking about Bodie under the canopy of a willow tree, "that nice green-walled haven", which Bodie clearly appreciates, "I was in the sun with you".

The last few letters are in haste. Doyle is being allowed out for the day: can Bodie please come? Then Doyle's abandoned letter after the day out, full of desolation now Bodie has gone. And one final one which is not a letter but a note, a note that Bodie is going to leave for Doyle to find in the flat they are now sharing. "At least I didn't have to post this one." All is well.

Aww. Happy sniff.

We've talked in the previous Reading Rooms about problems with the format of letter fiction. Would they write these things down? Would they be self-aware enough to recognise them? Would they make these initial declarations when they can't see each other's reactions? I think it's more likely in this set-up, because they have been forcibly separated at a time when they desperately want to talk. Doyle writes of lying on the floor thinking he would die without telling Bodie how he feels. He's determined to seize the opportunity as soon as it is presented, and it is presented with the magazines. Bodie doesn't think they're good at talking "feel such a prat staring someone in the eyeball while you're saying -- I dunno, whatever" and goes on, "Maybe that's why people first started to write letters". So there is good reason for each to write so completely.

I fall for the prose in this one, too. I really do get the feeling that they are both over the moon and excited and desperate to get together, but they can't, and they are pouring it all out into the letters. The two authors give the two characters different voices. Doyle has the black humour and bitter internal doubt. Bodie has a more matter-of-fact tone, enjoining Doyle to take care of himself and lacing jokes through his letters. I love the way he describes his reaction to Doyle's willow tree walk, and the image he fantasised over, and then adds, deadpan, "Got lots of willows up this neck of the woods, hope we're nowhere near any of them tomorrow, they'll do bugger all for my concentration".

It's very rooted in time and place. Sebastian and HG are both British and this was written very soon after the programme was shown. There are flashes of contemporary background in it: a Britain when "Danish" meant something special in the way of porn, when random strikes affected everybody's lives at some time or another ("tankers' strike was on then so we couldn't get any petrol once we found the garage") and a phone call meant buying small items with a pound note to get enough change.

Not everything worked for me. There's some talk of Doyle's past history with Benny which doesn't quite strike the nail for me -- in fact, I find it really odd. And Bodie and Anson: "Yeh, you've guessed it. I told him." Told him what? That he was in love, or that he was in love with Doyle? I think Anson gets a hard deal in a lot of Pros fic, and I really like the Anson in these letters; but I have trouble imagining Bodie confiding in him.

On the other hand, some things that normally don't work for me didn't bother me so much here: specifically the several mentions of "I love you". I don't normally believe they'd say this very often, let alone write it. But in the context of exhilaration and getting it all out at last, yes, I can imagine them writing it, and somehow thinking "There. I've written it. The world didn't end." or "It's real now". Just about, at least!

So, more relevations and declarations in letters. I think this holds together beautifully. What did you think? Do you think that using two authors makes it easier to distinguish the two voices? Will you now watch DIAG thinking "so, Sebastian could be right, this is the moment when..."? Can you believe in a Doyle who seeks out solitude under a tree and writes so lyrically about it?

I am not sure when I shall be back to look at the comments, but don't let that stop you commenting!

Date: 2011-11-24 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com
Thanks for the long thoughtful review!

I hadn't read this before. I enjoyed the story it told, and the idea that the separation on top of the shooting make them realise what they wanted. But I felt uncomfortable with the format.

These were incredibly long letters. I know only too well (from boarding school in the 50s and 60s) how much time it takes and how physically tiring it is to create epistles like this. Doyle had time, in hospital, but not the energy, surely? Bodie had the energy but not the time - and these weren't notes scribbled in a car; they were very long letters indeed and sometimes quite formal in their structure.

I also disliked the length because I felt that 'my' Bodie and Doyle wouldn't write like that, would be briefer, more likely to summarise incidents (like the willow tree), and altogether lighter in their approach.

The reference to the garage jars for me because there is too much detail; they shouldn't need so much to remind each other of the incident. Just 'remember that garage?' would do, and would intrigue the reader. Only boring people tell others things they already know. That's one problem with the letter format - it is all first person and the author should leave out things that would be easy and natural in a third person narrative and should remember to restrict the information that is passed on to the reader .

Once someone has started a letter and used a salutation (e.g. Dear Ray) it is extremely odd to have them use any kind of direct naming again. Whilst in conversation they might refer to each other as 'mate' I find it strange in the middle of a letter. It's a speech thing, not a letter thing!

I find the use of 'me' as the possessive really unacceptable in a letter, too. People who use it this way in speech are actually mispronouncing 'my' and know perfectly well which word they are using. Bodie and Doyle are too educated to use it in writing. The only acceptable way I have seen it like that is in humour writing, such as Pam Ayres' poems and those are deliberately written that way so that read aloud they will come across in a regional accent. Apart from joking usage like that, I have never seen anyone use 'me' and 'my' incorrectly in writing beyond the age of about seven.

So the way the authors didn't stick to the constraints they themselves had imposed plus the way they ignored the conventions of letter writing kept throwing me out of the story.

I won't be re-reading it, but I liked it enough to finish it, and found it interesting to analyse.

Thanks again!

Date: 2011-11-25 01:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
I think letters depend an awful lot on the writer - I used to write quite long ones as a matter of course, and it's only in the last few years that's tailed off, and mostly because my mum doesn't write back as she used to do (and everyone else seems to have stopped writing letters too - waah!) I didn't find it took alot of energy to write them though, so I can imagine a bored Doyle in hospital being quite wordy...

I have never seen anyone use 'me' and 'my' incorrectly in writing beyond the age of about seven.
Guilty, I'm afraid, in the same way I do so in lj posts and emails... it's not done by mistake of course, it's un/consciously mimicking the way I imagine speaking the lines... So I agree that the lads are too educated to misuse "me" as a possessive in a letter, but they might do it anyway, out of laziness, or just subconsciously...

Date: 2011-11-25 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com
I can't imagine anyone as ill as Doyle was at the beginning of the letter sequence writing very much at all. The effort involved in getting paper and pen, in finding a comfortable position to write in a hospital bed... Later, when he was 'out' and about, yes. But Bodie, in a car? No.

I don't see or hear either of them as likely to do the mimic thing in a letter. And I think our writing styles have changed remarkably with the advent of blogs and emails which are much more in line with phone calls than old-style letters. In any case, I would imagine their letters as much more brusque, brief, impersonal, with any love affair emerging through veiled references and so on. Of course, all that really says is that this story isn't for me!

Date: 2011-11-25 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
I think our writing styles have changed remarkably with the advent of blogs and emails which are much more in line with phone calls than old-style letters.
I absolutely agree - except that my old-style letters were like that long before I was using email, let alone blogs! *g* (And I still spell everything out and use apostrophes and full stops when I'm texting, so... *g*)

I can't see the lads consciously deciding to mimic speech in a letter, but I can see them both being so casual and lazy about writing to each other that it'd just come out like that - I don't think they'd bother to be formal at all...

As for Doyle in hospital - he might not have written when he was actually still flat out in his bed, but in the first letter he describes himself as having been thrown out of the ward to the day room, so I presume he's okay enough that he could probably write a letter too - and I can see him doing that rather than just sitting and gazing at nothing, even if it took him a long time... And if they "suggested" that he write a letter or something, then they would no doubt have given him pen and paper to do it, so not that much effort, surely... I agree that Bodie's much less likely to write long, heart-spilling epics in the car beside Anson, though!

Date: 2011-11-26 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
Or even just the fact that they went to school when they did, though - even in the seventies we were taught "the proper" way to write a letter... But then the fun is that they can also write four bloody five between them, mixing up the formality and their own relationship, which seems very natural to me...

Date: 2011-11-25 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maddalia.livejournal.com
That is a great review! One can tell how much you like the story, but it's still balanced.

Me, I love this story. It is one of my absolute favourites. The good bits are brilliant and the bits that annoy me don't annoy me enough to spoil it.

I'm definitely in the 'this would never happen' camp, but I'm perfectly happy to suspend disbelief because it's just such a lovely idea. The only thing that really gets to me is what moth2fic gave an example of: i.e., the fact that the letters are written like speech and not like letters. But as I said, the fic still wins me over. The parts where they're talking about working each other up are so hot that I just don't care whether they'd really write them or not! *bg* And when Doyle talks about lying down to sleep and thinking about Bodie's beautiful eyes, I just know he'd be highly unlikely to write that, but it's still one of my favourite bits.

"On the other hand, some things that normally don't work for me didn't bother me so much here: specifically the several mentions of "I love you". I don't normally believe they'd say this very often, let alone write it. But in the context of exhilaration and getting it all out at last, yes, I can imagine them writing it, and somehow thinking "There. I've written it. The world didn't end." or "It's real now". Just about, at least!"

I agree that the "I love you"s work here. Largely, I don't have a problem with the lads saying the words: it is the most direct way of expressing feelings that they definitely have for each other (platonically, as in 'canon', or otherwise). I'm sure that if they were in a relationship, they'd say it. But I think this with conditions. I find it realistic provided that it's not surrounded with mushy speeches, or said too often, or in everyday situations as a matter of course. But it isn't said too often in this fic, and the situation is quite acceptable. Their relationship is in an appropriate 'mood' for declarations of love. Exhilaration is the word: the joy of what they've found, and having the guts to express it, is something that comes across very strongly in this fic and is one of my favourite things about it. Also, they're just starting out, they're missing each other like crazy, and they both have reason to worry about each other. Plus, the romance in this fic is passion, not slush, so it works. For me, anyway.

I also really like the surrounding reality of this fic: Bodie's descriptions of the op, and Doyle's descriptions of the hospital, ground the romance very nicely and allow the reader to imagine clearly what's going on. Whether there'd be this much detail in actual letters -- I don't know. But I think that with stories told entirely in letter form, some liberties must be allowable so that the plot can proceed efficiently. As long as it doesn't jar, which it doesn't in No Unicorns, I think it's OK.

Now, questions:

Do you think that using two authors makes it easier to distinguish the two voices?
Skilled authors can create different 'voices' for Bodie and Doyle; they do it through dialogue, some more successfully than others. I wouldn't necessarily have picked the fact that this was a two-author story, if I didn't know. But the two voices are distinct, so overall, I would say yes to this question.

Will you now watch DIAG thinking "so, Sebastian could be right, this is the moment when..."?
I'm afraid I'm firmly convinced that they'd have got it together a lot earlier than this. But in the context of this fic, it works brilliantly as a 'moment when.'

Can you believe in a Doyle who seeks out solitude under a tree and writes so lyrically about it?
Oh, I want to. I really want to. Do I? I'm really not sure. To be fair to Doyle, I think he'd be making a real effort for Bodie, to be descriptive. Especially if Bodie is 'the poetic one,' as fanon has him. Doyle would want to match him in writing like in everything else.
Edited Date: 2011-11-25 05:34 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-11-25 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
The only thing that really gets to me is what moth2fic gave an example of: i.e., the fact that the letters are written like speech and not like letters.
I've confessed to Moth, and I will to you too - I absolutely have written/write letters like speech when they're to friends and relatives, almost exclusively, in fact! (And, um, the odd lj post/comment too... *g*) And I've had letters from people who obviously don't write them very often that read very much like speech, too. I think the lads would be a mixture of the two - they know each other really well, so they wouldn't feel the need to be formal, and they'd perhaps be lazy enough not to bother using proper English when writing too... I was going to say I agreed that they wouldn't use names etc throughout the letter after "Dear Ray" etc, but come to think of it I have a friend who will write things like "I'm looking forward to seeing you, my friend" or whatever in the middle of a letter, so I might have to take that back, too... *g*

Date: 2011-11-25 06:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] margaret-r.livejournal.com
Thank you for such a detailed and interesting review.

I liked this story and the premise for the letter writing was believable but the length and some of the content of the letters was, in some respects, enough to throw me out of it. I can imagine Bodie sitting in his hotel room at night penning his letters to Doyle but the idea of him sitting in a car during the investigations of the day writing a letter just doesn’t quite seem real enough. And the scenario of Bodie telling Anson anything at all about his feelings for Doyle is very unrealistic, they would both want to keep what was going on between them to themselves, although Anson giving Bodie the opportunity and money to phone Doyle was sweet.

I enjoyed the progress of the correspondence to genuine love letters, liked the romantic feel of them but sometimes felt the language wasn’t quite right for either Bodie or Doyle so while I could imagine them writing some parts of the letters at other times I felt they weren’t totally in character.

So, an enjoyable read with some very good moments in it that I loved but some reservations too.

Do I think using two authors makes it easier to distinguish the two voices?
No, not necessarily. It entirely depends on how well any writer can portray ‘their’ character, one might do a great job, the other not so great. So I don’t think you can generalise there.

Will you now watch DIAG thinking "so, Sebastian could be right, this is the moment when..."?
I don’t think so. Although I did enjoy the fic it hasn’t left enough of a lasting impression on me to make me consider it in those moments

Can you believe in a Doyle who seeks out solitude under a tree and writes so lyrically about it?
No, he might seek out the solitude but I doubt he would write lyrically about it. His writing would be more practical!

Date: 2011-11-25 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com
P.S. I forgot to answer the questions. I always track the Reading Room comments so the others alerted me!!

Two authors? I've written (not in Pros) with a co-author but I've also written multiple povs alone. I think I agree with [livejournal.com profile] margaret_r; it depends so much on the skills of the particular writer or writers. But they must have had fun doing it and maybe we should encourage more collaborative fic in Pros?

Re-watching DiaG? I re-watched it recently so it will be some time... and as I didn't find this story particularly memorable, I imagine it won't affect me when I get round to it again!

Waxing lyrical under the willow tree? I find the incident itself quite believable and in character. The writing, not so much. I think he'd have wanted to convey his feelings to Bodie but would probably have been less explicit on paper and then told him all about it when they got together.

Date: 2011-11-25 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
Finally, a Reading Room post I can comment on again! *g*

I have to admit to struggling a bit with No Unicorns this time, though I've adored it without question in the past - I think I'm struggling a bit with all epistolary fic these days, and probably for the reasons and reservations you said other people'd had in earlier discussions (which I've not yet had time to go back and read, so apologies for repetition...) Mostly I'm just not convinced that they'd put so much in writing, especially as you say, when they couldn't accurately judge each other's reaction - though their nerves in waiting for replies rang true in that case! But they're both such men of action - we never see them sitting still to desk work if there's something active they could be doing instead (not to say they don't do deskwork, they clearly do, but would they do it off their own bat?)

Do you think that using two authors makes it easier to distinguish the two voices?
As others have said, it depends very much on the authors...

Will you now watch DIAG thinking "so, Sebastian could be right, this is the moment when..."?
No - I watch the eps as the eps, and related fic is a bonus but something completely different. In fact I struggle with stories which are too closely tied to an episode, if there's no room left for my own imagination to play...

Can you believe in a Doyle who seeks out solitude under a tree and writes so lyrically about it?
Hmmn - the former yes, the latter... I'm not sure. If anyone could convince me, you'd think it'd be HG and/or Sebastian... *g*

Date: 2011-11-26 05:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
I'm not altogether sure that in the episodes they sound that different from each other
No, I know what you mean - they've both picked up the slang of the day (well, their version of that *g*), and although there's a difference in content and accent (sometimes *g*) I think you're right, the form is generally pretty similar... Which happens when you're with someone constantly - the old married couple thing - or with someone that like alot... *g*

I do like "missing scene" fic actually - but perhaps that's exactly it! I'm happy enough with being given another version of something that wasn't there in the first place, but I'm uncomfortable when I'm told the interpretation of a scene that I've watched. I might agree with that interpretation, but I still want wiggle-room, if that makes any sense. And all this is just in a story context too, I adore actually talking about interpretations of scenes, that's something else entirely!

Date: 2011-11-26 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooting2kill.livejournal.com
Just wanted to say how much I loved your review and I'm almost tempted to read this story again even though I'm not that keen on letter-writing fic. Not sure why, I think I find it hard dealing with the image of either of them (action men) sitting down long enough to write anything much at all. But I love the idea that they do start to write because they're missing each other and the writing gradually evolves into something more, a realisation of just *how* much they're missing each other and that this 'missing' isn't the same as the average separation of two workmates. And I suppose it's a kind of (unintentional) therapeutic exercise for them, just as it was in 'Private Lives'?

Anyway, just wanted to say I really enjoyed your review and thanks!

Date: 2011-11-27 04:29 pm (UTC)
murphybabe: (Default)
From: [personal profile] murphybabe
Late to the party, but unlike Private Lives, this story does work for me, and it's one of my favourites. I'm not sure why I find it easier to suspend disbelief: after all, my previous issues about security and writing all this personal stuff still stand. But the lyrical description of willow trees etc work for me, the (unlikely) bits about Anson etc work, and altogether I really enjoy this story. As to your questions, I didn't really spot the fact that this was co-authored the first time through, and I think they made it seamless enough that I didn't notice. The episodes are very different in my mind, and although I enjoy seeing references to things that happened in episodes in fiction, there's never a moment in watching an episode when I make a connection. Perhaps this is because I know they came first.

Date: 2011-11-27 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com
I completely agree that we should encourage discussion for days after the initial review, not hours!! I always click on 'track this' for RR discussions - then I get email notifs of every comment and can follow the entire thread, joining in if I want to, without having to keep going back to the review post. Perhaps we ought to encourage everybody to do that? I'm sure some do but I wonder if everyone has thought of it? I know I'd been on LJ a couple of years before I even understood what tracking was and how to do it. Maybe somebody should do a 'meta' post about how to get the best of Reading Room!

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