Reading Room. Private Lives by Alexandra.
Nov. 17th, 2011 05:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ci5hqI hadn't read Private Lives when I offered to lead this week's discussion but that was fine. I have read and enjoyed quite a lot of Alexandra's stories and didn't expect to be disappointed - and I wasn't! Besides, when I was teaching literature I always told students it was absolutely fine to dislike things provided they could give reasons for their dislike without resorting to mere 'hate-speak'. Ardent fans of a work were also expected to do more than just squee.
So I'm going to tell you why I liked this story and then I'll point out some of the flaws. There will now be a cut to prevent casual skimmers who haven't read the story from being 'spoiled'.
First of all, of course, we are predisposed to like a Bodie and Doyle who remain mostly in character and are written in smooth intelligent prose. The story starts after DiaG and Cowley has sent Doyle on holiday to help his convalescence. Presumably this is not for Doyle's benefit but so that he will be back at work all the faster. Bodie has gone with him to look after him. Again, presumably Bodie is turning out to be not much use without his partner and the sooner they are both back to normal the better for CI5. The entire story takes place away from CI5, in the 'private' sphere.
So there they are, in a holiday home on the south coast. Kate has told Ray to keep a diary, not to show to her but to help him explore his feelings. He is dubious but agrees to try. Bodie decides to do likewise. The story is interspersed with journal entries and the plot is furthered by them, which is a nice way of interlinking straight third person narrative and first person accounts or viewpoints. The journals are meant to be completely private.
Just as the holiday is physical therapy for Ray, so the diaries turn out to be mental therapy for both men. The story loops slowly to and fro. Events are retold from different p.o.vs and we gain deeper insights into how the protagonists see and then remember each incident.
At first Ray resents everything. He doesn't think a holiday, especially one that takes him away from 'Town' is going to do him any good, he doesn't think writing a diary can possibly be helpful and he thinks everything Bodie says or does is some kind of 'coddling' or pity which he could do without. In other words he is the typical grouchy convalescent desperate to get better faster.
Bodie expects to be bored and to find it hard to keep his feelings for Ray secret. but he is determined to help his partner regain full fitness. He never intends any 'coddling'; in fact his touches and his care spring from his own deep-seated desire for Ray.
At first the men test each other to see whether they can read each other's diaries but agree that some things are totally private, even from best friends.
Gradually, we see Bodie get to a point where he is going to have to explain himself to Ray or explode. He is aware of his feelings and pours them into his journal. At the same time Ray's irritation increases until he sets out for a disastrous walk through a gathering storm, a nice metaphor for his feelings. He is less aware of his desires but then realises what he wants. However, neither man is willing to explain himself; their private lives remain private. But despite the growing tension, the men indulge in their usual banter and there are some funny moments and some endearing ones. There is also an element of competition between them, in their ball games on the beach and in their indoor pastimes; these are definitely two alpha males. Bodie doesn't get the chance to be bored after all. He is also, to his own surprise, seduced into reading about WW1 - another nice metaphor for exploring attitudes to past and present battles.
After the storm, we return to the journals and both men are still unwilling to share their deepest thoughts. They do, however, start to share information about their pasts, something they have never done, and this glimpse into their past private lives helps them both to discover new aspects of their relationship. Bodie has been unable to see Ray's journal but he has managed to see some of Ray's private sketches - of him, Bodie, sunbathing. This encourages him to think maybe Ray wouldn't completely reject an approach from him.
Incidentally, the scene where they help each other put sun lotion on for sunbathing hits all my buttons - it's hot, full of UST and still based around banter and laughter.
The journals serve to force the men into exploring thoughts that were buried deeply - private even from themselves, perhaps, and they reach a stage where they can hold back no longer. The subconscious elements, the conscious but private thoughts and the changing relationship intermesh well with Ray's improving health. The various strands twine into a solid and interesting whole.
Ray is still having nightmares related to the shooting, and Bodie sleeps with him to help him sleep - a common trope in slash fiction but here handled with a very light and sure touch. During the day they tiptoe around each other, both wishing, and neither quite daring to change the status quo. The eventual and inevitable sex scene is tastefully described and tantalisingly hot. The concept of privacy is worked to the full here by the writer. Less is often more and less explicit sex scenes can stimulate the imagination better than too much mechanical description. Alexandra's sex scenes are often a master-class in how to tell just enough to let the reader's imagination run riot.
The lovers admit that the journals 'helped get the private stuff out in the open', which worked to heal Ray mentally and strengthen the relationship. Again, there is a clear correlation between mental and physical health, an interesting subtext that is never over-stressed. They read each other's journals, delving deep into the most private thoughts. Then having agreed that they no longer need the journals, they each make one last entry, which will remain private, and burn the journals on the fire in front of which there is a soft and inviting rug...
Which begs the question of how we are reading the journal entries, of course, but we are invited to suspend disbelief and we do!
So, as you can see, I thought this was a beautifully structured story, with its different layers of privacy, and its loops through the action and the subsequent diary entries. I loved the way the location of the cottage, and even the weather echoed the problems they were facing and the way they overcame them. I thought Ray's reactions to the shooting and the aftermath were interesting and realistic. I thoroughly enjoyed the way Alexandra took us, and them, into their private lives.
But...
...you knew there was going to be a 'but', didn't you?
I have some problems with both the content and the text. Not huge niggles but they were enough to make me stop and think and make notes. They won't stop me re-reading but I am unable to deliver unalloyed praise. Some of you might think my complaints are quibbles but they are important in that they can jar the reader out of the story.
First, the problems with content.
The biggest worry is that this Bodie seems too prone to introspection. 'My' Bodie is less capable of sustained self analysis and it seems to me his character was altered slightly for the purposes of the plot. Ray's characterisation seemed more believable and in line with canon.
Less important, but still a worry to me, were tiny cracks in the depiction of period and location. Back in the 1970s none of us worried overmuch about the possibility of satellite debris falling from the skies - there simply weren't that many satellites around and what there were hadn't started coming down again. Man had only just reached the moon...
And where on earth were they? When Ray goes for his walk he is 'miles' from the nearest road - not just using that expression as an idiom denoting 'a long way' but as a reason why he didn't go to the road to seek help. The south coast is not such a wilderness. Some of it might seem deeply rural but there are usually roads quite near everywhere you might walk. From the descriptions of the house and the access to the beach they are clearly not in any of the clifftop areas so that makes it even more likely they were in a densely populated area served by a good road network, however isolated the cottage seemed. I would have liked a bit more detail.
Second, problems with language.
You probably know by now that I dislike American vocabulary, grammar and cultural assumptions in stories based around quintessentially Brit characters. If it's any consolation I also read widely in Harry Potter and 'they' get it even more wrong. However, writers in Spooks and Torchwood seem to manage... so why can't everybody else? And from what I can gather, having a Brit beta is no guarantee of success; younger Brits are so over-exposed to American TV that they fail to spot things that simply wouldn't have been said or done in the 70s.
In 70s/80s England we simply did not have love seats, liquor cabinets or sweets shops (though that last might be a typo). Nor would Doyle or Bodie have said such things as 'I got news', 'real quiet', 'I sure wish', or 'guess I thought'. Brits only recently got the concept of 'interns', they never build 'porches' beyond sliding doors, their twentieth century muffins were a kind of heavy bread bun, not a cake to have with coffee, they were all brought up never to wear leather jackets in the rain (modern weatherproofing sprays were barely thought of) and all the glossy mags in a seaside/rural village newsagent's would have been strictly for women only.
I think it's important because if they are talking like this then they are not Bodie and Doyle. I can suspend disbelief about access to the diaries, but not about the way the men speak or the things in the surroundings.
There were a couple of other linguistic points.
Nobody ever says 'faugh' - even if they make a sound suspiciously like that authors use another way to describe it because 'faugh' throws us back into the early nineteenth century. Georgette Heyer could get away with it; Pros writers can't unless it's a Regency AU.
No Brit ever writes 'me mum', 'me stomach' or 'me hand' - or at least nobody with any kind of education beyond primary school. They might say it, depending on their regional accent or general sloppiness of everyday speech but they would always write 'my...' so to see that in the journal entries seemed really odd. It's OK in dialogue though too much of it makes the lads sound less educated than they are. There are difficulties in showing 'voice' in text and in the case of accent, less is more. (As in the case of sex!)
Finally, there was a glorious spelling mistake or typo. I now have a wonderful image of Bodie 'pawing through his horde'.
Despite these failings, I loved the story with its clever intermingling of narrative and journal and its complex but interrelated themes. I will definitely re-read it and when I am not analysing it I might skim over some of the more obvious faults because it is a very good read! I hope you enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to your comments.
So I'm going to tell you why I liked this story and then I'll point out some of the flaws. There will now be a cut to prevent casual skimmers who haven't read the story from being 'spoiled'.
First of all, of course, we are predisposed to like a Bodie and Doyle who remain mostly in character and are written in smooth intelligent prose. The story starts after DiaG and Cowley has sent Doyle on holiday to help his convalescence. Presumably this is not for Doyle's benefit but so that he will be back at work all the faster. Bodie has gone with him to look after him. Again, presumably Bodie is turning out to be not much use without his partner and the sooner they are both back to normal the better for CI5. The entire story takes place away from CI5, in the 'private' sphere.
So there they are, in a holiday home on the south coast. Kate has told Ray to keep a diary, not to show to her but to help him explore his feelings. He is dubious but agrees to try. Bodie decides to do likewise. The story is interspersed with journal entries and the plot is furthered by them, which is a nice way of interlinking straight third person narrative and first person accounts or viewpoints. The journals are meant to be completely private.
Just as the holiday is physical therapy for Ray, so the diaries turn out to be mental therapy for both men. The story loops slowly to and fro. Events are retold from different p.o.vs and we gain deeper insights into how the protagonists see and then remember each incident.
At first Ray resents everything. He doesn't think a holiday, especially one that takes him away from 'Town' is going to do him any good, he doesn't think writing a diary can possibly be helpful and he thinks everything Bodie says or does is some kind of 'coddling' or pity which he could do without. In other words he is the typical grouchy convalescent desperate to get better faster.
Bodie expects to be bored and to find it hard to keep his feelings for Ray secret. but he is determined to help his partner regain full fitness. He never intends any 'coddling'; in fact his touches and his care spring from his own deep-seated desire for Ray.
At first the men test each other to see whether they can read each other's diaries but agree that some things are totally private, even from best friends.
Gradually, we see Bodie get to a point where he is going to have to explain himself to Ray or explode. He is aware of his feelings and pours them into his journal. At the same time Ray's irritation increases until he sets out for a disastrous walk through a gathering storm, a nice metaphor for his feelings. He is less aware of his desires but then realises what he wants. However, neither man is willing to explain himself; their private lives remain private. But despite the growing tension, the men indulge in their usual banter and there are some funny moments and some endearing ones. There is also an element of competition between them, in their ball games on the beach and in their indoor pastimes; these are definitely two alpha males. Bodie doesn't get the chance to be bored after all. He is also, to his own surprise, seduced into reading about WW1 - another nice metaphor for exploring attitudes to past and present battles.
After the storm, we return to the journals and both men are still unwilling to share their deepest thoughts. They do, however, start to share information about their pasts, something they have never done, and this glimpse into their past private lives helps them both to discover new aspects of their relationship. Bodie has been unable to see Ray's journal but he has managed to see some of Ray's private sketches - of him, Bodie, sunbathing. This encourages him to think maybe Ray wouldn't completely reject an approach from him.
Incidentally, the scene where they help each other put sun lotion on for sunbathing hits all my buttons - it's hot, full of UST and still based around banter and laughter.
The journals serve to force the men into exploring thoughts that were buried deeply - private even from themselves, perhaps, and they reach a stage where they can hold back no longer. The subconscious elements, the conscious but private thoughts and the changing relationship intermesh well with Ray's improving health. The various strands twine into a solid and interesting whole.
Ray is still having nightmares related to the shooting, and Bodie sleeps with him to help him sleep - a common trope in slash fiction but here handled with a very light and sure touch. During the day they tiptoe around each other, both wishing, and neither quite daring to change the status quo. The eventual and inevitable sex scene is tastefully described and tantalisingly hot. The concept of privacy is worked to the full here by the writer. Less is often more and less explicit sex scenes can stimulate the imagination better than too much mechanical description. Alexandra's sex scenes are often a master-class in how to tell just enough to let the reader's imagination run riot.
The lovers admit that the journals 'helped get the private stuff out in the open', which worked to heal Ray mentally and strengthen the relationship. Again, there is a clear correlation between mental and physical health, an interesting subtext that is never over-stressed. They read each other's journals, delving deep into the most private thoughts. Then having agreed that they no longer need the journals, they each make one last entry, which will remain private, and burn the journals on the fire in front of which there is a soft and inviting rug...
Which begs the question of how we are reading the journal entries, of course, but we are invited to suspend disbelief and we do!
So, as you can see, I thought this was a beautifully structured story, with its different layers of privacy, and its loops through the action and the subsequent diary entries. I loved the way the location of the cottage, and even the weather echoed the problems they were facing and the way they overcame them. I thought Ray's reactions to the shooting and the aftermath were interesting and realistic. I thoroughly enjoyed the way Alexandra took us, and them, into their private lives.
But...
...you knew there was going to be a 'but', didn't you?
I have some problems with both the content and the text. Not huge niggles but they were enough to make me stop and think and make notes. They won't stop me re-reading but I am unable to deliver unalloyed praise. Some of you might think my complaints are quibbles but they are important in that they can jar the reader out of the story.
First, the problems with content.
The biggest worry is that this Bodie seems too prone to introspection. 'My' Bodie is less capable of sustained self analysis and it seems to me his character was altered slightly for the purposes of the plot. Ray's characterisation seemed more believable and in line with canon.
Less important, but still a worry to me, were tiny cracks in the depiction of period and location. Back in the 1970s none of us worried overmuch about the possibility of satellite debris falling from the skies - there simply weren't that many satellites around and what there were hadn't started coming down again. Man had only just reached the moon...
And where on earth were they? When Ray goes for his walk he is 'miles' from the nearest road - not just using that expression as an idiom denoting 'a long way' but as a reason why he didn't go to the road to seek help. The south coast is not such a wilderness. Some of it might seem deeply rural but there are usually roads quite near everywhere you might walk. From the descriptions of the house and the access to the beach they are clearly not in any of the clifftop areas so that makes it even more likely they were in a densely populated area served by a good road network, however isolated the cottage seemed. I would have liked a bit more detail.
Second, problems with language.
You probably know by now that I dislike American vocabulary, grammar and cultural assumptions in stories based around quintessentially Brit characters. If it's any consolation I also read widely in Harry Potter and 'they' get it even more wrong. However, writers in Spooks and Torchwood seem to manage... so why can't everybody else? And from what I can gather, having a Brit beta is no guarantee of success; younger Brits are so over-exposed to American TV that they fail to spot things that simply wouldn't have been said or done in the 70s.
In 70s/80s England we simply did not have love seats, liquor cabinets or sweets shops (though that last might be a typo). Nor would Doyle or Bodie have said such things as 'I got news', 'real quiet', 'I sure wish', or 'guess I thought'. Brits only recently got the concept of 'interns', they never build 'porches' beyond sliding doors, their twentieth century muffins were a kind of heavy bread bun, not a cake to have with coffee, they were all brought up never to wear leather jackets in the rain (modern weatherproofing sprays were barely thought of) and all the glossy mags in a seaside/rural village newsagent's would have been strictly for women only.
I think it's important because if they are talking like this then they are not Bodie and Doyle. I can suspend disbelief about access to the diaries, but not about the way the men speak or the things in the surroundings.
There were a couple of other linguistic points.
Nobody ever says 'faugh' - even if they make a sound suspiciously like that authors use another way to describe it because 'faugh' throws us back into the early nineteenth century. Georgette Heyer could get away with it; Pros writers can't unless it's a Regency AU.
No Brit ever writes 'me mum', 'me stomach' or 'me hand' - or at least nobody with any kind of education beyond primary school. They might say it, depending on their regional accent or general sloppiness of everyday speech but they would always write 'my...' so to see that in the journal entries seemed really odd. It's OK in dialogue though too much of it makes the lads sound less educated than they are. There are difficulties in showing 'voice' in text and in the case of accent, less is more. (As in the case of sex!)
Finally, there was a glorious spelling mistake or typo. I now have a wonderful image of Bodie 'pawing through his horde'.
Despite these failings, I loved the story with its clever intermingling of narrative and journal and its complex but interrelated themes. I will definitely re-read it and when I am not analysing it I might skim over some of the more obvious faults because it is a very good read! I hope you enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to your comments.
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no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 06:28 pm (UTC)And most of the time I'm very happy I'm no good with grammar. *g*
LoL - I have nothing more to add, than what you've already said so...
Thank you for this great review! ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 06:55 pm (UTC)Thank you for all the info on 70s England and Brit English. I definitely appreciate it. I had no idea liquor cabinets didn't exist in 70s/80s England! (Is it forgivable since I'm an 80s baby? :P)
As for current Brit and American TV shows, I once heard that some Brit shows deliberately 'de-British' their dialogue to some extent to make the shows more accessible to the American market. That could also be another reason for non-Brit fanfic writers to make mistakes regarding Brit English (much less, 70s Brit English!).
(Oh, and a question to those who've watched Life on Mars, how accurately 70s is the dialogue, slang, etc. in it?)
no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 08:25 pm (UTC)We have never had liqor cabinets and anyone who has one now is using American English as a result of TV exposure... That simply wouldn't have happened in the 70s. We don't have liquor except in the sense of the concentrated liquid that you get when you press e.g. vegetables or nuts etc. We have drinks cabinets and some of them might contain liqueurs - the sweet strong drinks like kahlua or benedictine.
I think that shows are altered quite a lot on both sides of the Atlantic but usually to remove dialect words or strong regional accents. I have never heard of them being 'de-Britished' in the way you seem to mean.
I live in Stockport, which is where LoM was filmed, and I lived here in 1973... Everything in the show is 100% accurate - and most of the fanfic writers seem to get it right too!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 07:20 pm (UTC)R.I.P Skylab.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 07:30 pm (UTC)I love Alexandra's writing, the only thing I don't like so much is that tendency to get it a bit wrong on the language.
Thanks for an excellent rec!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 10:04 pm (UTC)Maybe the use of "me mum" etc, comes from Bodie larking about in A Stirring of Dust. It's not unusual in a fandom for a simple phrase or word to be expanded into novel sized ideas, plots or a concept written in stone. :)
As a point of interest, I have seen British authors who have written in Pros called too American in their phrasing. I know it's hard to have a concensus on every word.
Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 10:23 pm (UTC)You're right about tiny points of canon that get expanded into galaxies *g*
I think - though I'm sure someone will find an exception - the Brit writers who use American vocabulary and phrasing are usually younger - and therefore more likely to have had their English modified by television and films - or are very active in very American fandoms and have had their writing style influenced by that. I know if I write in an American fandom I need an American beta - and one I seriously trust, whose own writing reassures me. I think the fact that American writers manage perfect Brit English in other Brit fandoms (other than Harry Potter) must mean something but I'm not sure what!!*g*
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 04:53 am (UTC)But for all that it was a good read - touching and nice look at the lads finding each other.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 08:33 am (UTC)But I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 10:07 am (UTC)It is a while since I read Private Lives, but remember it as being a very satisfactory read and one I have put on the “read again” pile. Indeed, your comments have inspired me to do just that – as soon as I’ve finished all the Big Bang fics.
Some of you might think my complaints are quibbles but they are important in that they can jar the reader out of the story.
I totally agree with your comment. I am working my way through the Big Bang stories and there have a been a few that have caused a degree of anguish which could easily have been remedied by a good beta. I desperately want to offer them my services!
You probably know by now that I dislike American vocabulary, grammar and cultural assumptions in stories based around quintessentially Brit characters. And from what I can gather, having a Brit beta is no guarantee of success; younger Brits are so over-exposed to American TV that they fail to spot things that simply wouldn't have been said or done in the 70s.
I agree - The Professionals is British based in Britain in the 70s/80s and an author should carry out whatever research is needed – or is that expecting too much of an amateur author gaining nothing but a degree of pleasure from writing? As a British born and bred teenager/twenty-something during the 70s and 80s, I agree with your comment but totally understand how difficult it must be to get it right without the proper help. Having beta’d for a couple of authors, I have learned some American expressions which I had to research in order to find a British equivalent! Perhaps that is part of the beta’s responsibility, but in my very limited experience, the story will always belong to the author and so any suggestions made by a beta, may not necessarily be used or accepted.
Having said that, I am totally in awe of anyone who writes in any of the Professionals sites and has the ability, inspiration and confidence to post their stories for the enjoyment of those of us who cannot write. Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 07:45 pm (UTC)When doing beta work (and I beta for a couple of professional authors) any suggestions about content, character, plot etc. are just that - suggestions. But corrections to language should always be at least considered by the author and they should argue their case fiercely if they want to continue to use something that is 'inappropriate'. Grammar and voacabulary errors are like typos in that respect - and are part of a good beta's job. If I tell someone that Doyle using 'gotten' will throw Brit readers out of the story she should listen to me! It won't interfere with her authorial independence but it will make a big difference to the finished product. I certainly think fanfic writers should be as open to correction as the writers of original fic, who have to accept the editor's decison as final!
I'm sure you could write - maybe you haven't been looking hard enough for plots? Go over to
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 11:34 am (UTC)Thank you!
Post DIAG stories as well as 'letters only' stories aren't my fav genres. So this one is a combination I would normally have avoided.
But like you, I can't remember many Alexandra stories I didn't like, so I gave it a try.
And I like it very much! :-)
Maybe because of the good mixture between the written thoughts of Bodie and Doyle and the outside POV narration.
The scene at the beginning and at the beach for example, are very good I think. There is the banter/teasing I love, but always with a serious undertone. We learn that their relationship has changed after the shooting. It's not as natural as it used to be.
"The camaraderie they once shared had gone, replaced by an unusual hesitancy, a strange dance in which they moved in close only to slap each other away."
Both know it. But both don't know exactly what to do about it. So I think, the stylistic device with the letters is a very good way to look into their heads.
It's very interesting to look at one event from more than one POV.
For example the quiet journey:
Narrator:
"Doyle had been abnormally quiet during the ride. It felt odd, not having him chatting away. Bodie was so used to hearing his voice, even if only in idle banter, whenever they drove anywhere together. He had missed that a lot lately."
Doyle:
"Was real quiet on the drive out, thought I'd go nuts listening to all that silence. Tried a few openers, didn't get anywhere. Don't know what's up with us. Maybe it's good, being out here just by ourselves for a bit. Force us to get along, if nothing else."
But I can't add more praise to the story than you've already done! :-)
About your 'buts'.
" The biggest worry is that this Bodie seems too prone to introspection. 'My' Bodie is less capable of sustained self analysis…"
I remember the scene in the pub where Doyle ponders over the two telephones in the room(episode ?), and Bodie just couldn't help to be interested in the case while drinking his 'orange juice'.
But here he is very well personally involved, and I believe that he can be quite introspective in such a case! Especially when there is nothing better to do... ;-)
"Back in the 1970s none of us worried overmuch about the possibility of satellite debris falling from the skies - there simply weren't that many satellites around and what there were hadn't started coming down again. Man had only just reached the moon…
As much as I remember, everything that concerns 'outer space' was much more of interest than it is nowadays, with the moon landing ten years ago, and with the first Star Trek and Star Wars movies. It was all very exciting!
" Second, problems with language"
Ignorance is a bliss! :-)
But I understand your complaints!
"No Brit ever writes 'me mum', 'me stomach' or 'me hand' - or at least nobody with any kind of education beyond primary school…"
That's something that disturbs even me. I don't know why – I just have the feeling that it's 'wrong'.
But I can happily live with that!
It's a wonderful story – together with a brilliant review: Who could ask for more? :-)
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 07:56 pm (UTC)Alexandra does write some very memorable scenes! It's almost as if you had watched an episode!
I'm not saying Bodie couldn't analyse himself, more that I don't believe he would, even if bored, unless forced to. Yes, his feelings are tending to force him, but there's an awful lot of introspection going on. I just think it's slightly out of character. Not enough to spoil the story.
My memories of the space stuff are that here in UK people regarded it all as very positive and would sweep any worries about debris etc. out of the way. After all, that kind of thing only happened in Australia... We were more likely to be worrying about the atomic bomb.
Yes - I suppose ignorance might be bliss when you're reading stories in a second language. But the vast majority of the fandom are Brits, or Americans who take Brit things seriously - so - yes, they will complain. Not all of them. Some will just, like you, 'have a feeling that it's wrong' without ever quite knowing why. And that's a pity because it detracts from the marvellous story.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 11:08 pm (UTC)I enjoyed this, and thought it had some really great moments, but I wasn't quite as convinced as I think some other commenters are. Not because of the US/UK thing, nor an introspective Bodie. I've been thinking about why, and I think it's the "I love you" declaration. It's not that I don't think they might not love each other (sometimes). I just have real real trouble with them ever saying that to each other in any sort of romantic, or even, erm, uninflected, perhaps, way. I can just about cope with them expressing it somehow - I've seen something along the lines of "Because I love you, you stupid bastard!" in an argument more than once, and PFL has "I hate you." "Yeah, hoped so" somewhere, which I really liked. And deadpan jokes of "I'm only doing this for you because I love you" concealing a truth work for me too. But romantic love and being at ease with saying it is a bit of a tough sell for me.
I found it very slow to start, and very leisurely, but when you are revisiting the same events, it will be. Sometimes we have narrator and both characters all retelling them. And there's nothing wrong with gentle unfolding. I just have to be in the mood for it.
I liked the dialogue when they exchange histories, and Doyle knowing that Bodie is holding something back. On the theme of letters, I really liked Doyle's standard letter home, only three sentences and fewer than 20 words!
Have now found why everyone has been discussing Skylab, and have to say that didn't worry me too much, because it was part of a chain of ever-less-likely events, so fine... meteor, pieces of plane ice, space station... he was thinking of particularly unlikely events. after all.
I did enjoy the.. well, the balance, perhaps? In the text, instead. Not just the two views on the same events. Things like: "Doyle's light snores filled the air. / Day 6. Doyle woke to the sound of someone snoring." There's another point where the end of one day/point of view is balanced immediately by the start of the next one, and I enjoyed that.
I would probably have mentioned the US/UK thing, but everyone else has already. I agree particularly about the local geography. And she gets a lot right: she refers to a bookshop, and I think most Americans would say bookstore. Similarly, she gets scarf right. My only problem with the bookshop is its existence in such a small village. I'd expect a dodgy rotating stand of paperbacks in the post office!
Also: the hot tub. No! There's one Pros fic I've read with a good reason they should be in a hot tub, and the reason in question is that they are in California at the time. South-west coast, a nice tidal pool is what you want. But Pros era and plumbing (the water sort of plumbing, that is -- this is not some euphemism) is a topic for another time.
Great review; thanks!
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Date: 2011-11-18 11:44 pm (UTC)I enjoyed the leisurely pace because it gave me time to admire the intricacy of the writing, and yes, I noticed things like the balance - all part of the good style. Perhaps it should come with a warning: this story is slow for a reason; don't read it when you're in a hurry.
Yes, she has done some research on language. She may have been pulled up on it in other fics - it's one of her failings. But instead of adding incrementally to her Brit-speak she should get a good Brit-beta.
I can accept bookshops in south coast villages in tourist areas (another reason for wanting some geography) but actually I think she meant a large newsagent... Some of them stock things that might appeal to holiday makers and war stuff is always calculated to appeal to bored males. (That isn't a sexist remark - I read war stuff too - just a marketing comment.)
I gasped at the hot tub. Then I thought about one of our neighbours who rents and sells them. He didn't, in the 70s, but whilst they were an American thing I can see a really luxurious hide-out, maybe fitted for top brass from the services, having things like that. I knew people (in the 70s) with huge American fridges, swimming pools, things like that - the ordinary person wouldn't have had them, no, but we aren't given too much detail about the cottage.
I do take your point about the plumbing - I am constantly surprised at the way all their flats have showers...
Thanks for reading and commenting!