Christmas Reading Room December 1

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Title: Not a Very Silent Night
Author: Alexandra
Link to story or zine/ProsLib info:Title: Not a Very Silent Night
Author: Alexandra
Link to story or zine/ProsLib info: At
the Circuit Archive and at The
Hatstand and available
at ProsLib
Pairing: B/D
Further story information found at prosficspoilers

A wistful,lonely,vulnerable Doyle, a thoughtful, protective Bodie, a cold winter setting, sarcastic yet affectionate banter and a peek at the lad's past - these are a few of my favorite things! "Not a Very Silent Night" by Alexandra has them all.
It's Christmas Eve and the lads are on stakeout - again! And they are bored ("...'once upon a midnight drear', Bodie muttered"). But the boredom leads to conversation and conversation leads to shared memories and hopes. After all, it is the season for wishes coming true. Their assignment is to guard the empty home of an MP. They've set themselves up in different parts of the house, Bodie in a front bedroom and Ray in a study at the back. They begin to chat on their R/Ts to pass the time. Alexandra's banter between Bodie and Doyle is pure canon:

Bodie used his R/T again. "Oi. Agent 4 bloody 5."
"What?" Doyle said with irritation clear in his voice.
"What do you reckon Cowley is doing right now?"
There came a long pause. Then Doyle said, "Counting his blessings. One of which is, 'never having to fret over the sanity of my top team'."
"I'm not losing it," Bodie protested. "I'm just bored. Talk to me."

And talk they do, about what they'd rather be doing Christmas Eve (Ray says "Just staying home would be enough."), what Christmas was like for them growing up (not all "Deck the Halls"), their best Christmas ever (a very "aawww" moment) and how they're going to spend Christmas day when the op is over.

Loneliness is a theme here and Alexandra paints it in several ways. Bodie watches the family in the house across from the stakeout:

"All he saw were the twinkling lights on a Christmas tree inside the home across the way. He watched for a while, and saw people moving about in the large living room. A young couple came in and out of view, drinks in hand, talking, gesturing, laughing. They stopped near the tree, and kissed. Bodie looked away, looked towards the hallway, and thought about Doyle..."

Doyle's loneliness is presented several ways, but the most moving is the story he tells Bodie about attending his sister's wedding:

"Everywhere I turned around, there they were--families... I'm telling you. Happy couples wherever I looked."...after the partying was over and done, they all got into their cars together, and they all drove off home together. And I watched them all go, and then I got into my car by myself, and I drove back home by myself--"
"Thought you liked that," Bodie interrupted.
"Yeah, I said that," Doyle replied. "I didn't mean it."
"What do you want, then?"
"... Someone to laugh with when things are good, someone to hold tight when they're not... "But mostly, I just want someone to be with on the long drive home."
(There is much more that Ray wants and his speech brought me to tears, but I won't spoil it all here!)

To help ease his boredom, Bodie encourages Doyle to talk, hoping that by getting his partner to open up a bit he might ease some of the sadness he senses in Doyle. But Bodie also has a selfish reason for getting Doyle to talk. Ray's voice soothes Bodie:

"I'm not bored anymore, Ray. You can keep talking all night if you want. I can listen all night. It's very soothing, the sound of your voice." He glanced out the window. The curtains had been drawn in the house across the way, the tree no longer on view. "It's the only comforting thing out here tonight."

There is more humorous teasing and more serious sharing of feelings. The characterizations are spot on. There was only one part of the story that I wasn't happy with. Alexandra makes a point of showing that the lads realize their life together is not an easy one ("a lifetime of promises and pain, of joy and sorrow, of the clearly seen and the unforeseeable paths that would mark the wide compass of their companionship."). This makes the story more real. But then the author goes and spoils it with the last "fairytale-esque" sentence. I know it's a Christmas story and I'm all for happy endings, but this was just too sweet. The story should have ended with Doyle's "Happy Christmas, 3.7." (But that's just my opinion....I could be wrong!)

Happy Holidays to all of you! (A special "Thanks" goes out to slantedlight for setting this all up!)

Comments

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

I agree, I like how Bodie admits that just the sound of Doyle's voice is soothing. I think because they are not face to face it makes it easier to speak.

Great rec!

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think Mr. Shaw has a very soothing voice. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to his reading of Tolkien's "The Hobbit"!

[starlite876.livejournal.com]

This is such a sweet story, and one of my favourite stories from Alexandra.

When Doyle spoke about his sister's wedding and his trip home, you can hear his desire to find someone to share his life with. So glad Bodie was there to grant Doyle his wish.

What a perfect start for the Christmas Reading Room.

Thank you for reccing this story.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Doyle's loneliness and his need to "have" somebody was tangible. Very moving. It's my favorite part of the story. Thanks for commenting!

[siskiou.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this lovely rec!
And how nice to discover that this is a new story for me! :)
I really enjoyed how they slowly worked up to admitting feelings to each other, maybe made easier by not saying it face to face at first. Doyle in particular was very much longing for closeness with Bodie, but Bodie was really not far behind.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

It's always fun to discover a new story! Glad you liked this one.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

This is one of my favourite Christmas stories... I love its melancholy touch, and the intimacy of the lads talking together over the RT, and the hush of it - there's a lovely atmosphere to it all, you can feel the quietness of the night around them. And it's a lovely idea that by being in just the right odd mood, and wrapped up in the darkness and separate but so very together, they're able to realise that they can be each other's someone for the long drive home... Oh, and I love that that's how Doyle puts it, that's very them somehow, rather than big soppy declarations of lurve...

I do agree with you about the last line (especially cos the 4.5 and 3.7 brings it so beautifully back to the beginning), and I want to edit out all the Americanisms, but Alexandra manages to put them off cos everything else about this is so lovely... *g*

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

I loved the way Doyle described his need/want as "someone for the long drive". It has a touch of melancholy and sweetness. I don't see the Americanisms (being an americanism meself *g*) but I can understand why that would be a bit annoying. Glad you felt you could overlook them here and were ale to enjoy the story!

[probodie.livejournal.com]

BSL I agree with you - its very melancholy but in a good way, and the quietness, the shared intimacy, the love, is all apparent. There are too many Americanisms in it, but I can get over them with this lovely story because its just beautiful and it is how I think of them.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, it is a beautiful story and the lads are well portrayed. (And just how are all you guys adding the snow to your icons??!! *g*)

[probodie.livejournal.com]

(And just how are all you guys adding the snow to your icons??!! *g*)
Sadly I nabbed this from someone so I dont have a clue - but maybe someone else will know? Highly appropriate in Arctic Britain!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can't help either - I had to ask someone to do it for me the other year... It might be worth asking at the_safehouse, you know - someone might share the secret... *g*

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

It's funny, isn't it, how in some stories the language stands out so much as just not them, and yet in others there's something more that makes you want to keep reading and fight against the accent/characterisation thing anyway... *g*

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

I'm always a bit wary of christmas stories in case they end up a bit too twee for me, but I love this one because even though they're two tough 'blokes' I can still see this kind of scene taking place with vulernabilities being exposed and understood without them having to sacrifice their 'blokeishness'. And I love both the intimacy and the solitude of their situation here (a contradiction?) - a situation which seems to help Doyle voice his feelings - even though he can't see Bodie he feels very close to him.

The night scene from Kickback where they're in their respective cars and talking to each other via radio is always the scene I imagine when reading this story.

A lovely rec, thanks!

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

That's what made this story for me... their"vulernabilities being exposed and understood without them having to sacrifice their 'blokeishness'." Well said! And I don't see a contradiction with solitude and intimacy, in this story I think the one leads to the other. Thanks for commenting!

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

Thank you and your point is a good one.

[I tried to do the snowfalling effect with an icon at this site using the 'Animation' thingy and it looked as if it had worked but when I tried to post it it hadn't but you might have more luck with it!]

http://www.lunapic.com/editor/

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, one of my favorite stories of Alexandra's. I really like the intimacy of it. And I totally agree with Bodie about Doyle's voice. *g* Also that they do bring comfort to one another, as no one else ever could.

Thank you for the reminder!

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading my opinions. (And I have to say that I really enjoy your stories too!)

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Oh, hey, thank you for letting me know! (Especially as I'm struggling with getting started with my DIALJ story for Christmas. Ack! *g*)

[roven75.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the rec and well-written review :)

I seriously can't remember if I've read this story or not o.O It does sound vaguely familiar. Which makes me realize even if I have read it, I need to read it again, and soon!
It sounds like a good story, with the lads very much in character, and I like the idea behind it. Again, thanks for pointing me to this.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

You are quite welcome. I really enjoy sharing thoughts on stories and the lads with everyone!

[cornishcat.livejournal.com]

Thanks for encouraging me to reread this lovely story.

Alexandra has a lovely way with words that take you on an journey that doesn't deviate into the obvious or contrived.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I agree, the ending (while hoped for) was never a "given". You could feel them both hoping, but still afraid to take the last step for fear of ruining the friendship they had. Very well done.

[jgraeme2007.livejournal.com]

I thought this was a great story to start with. I'd read it before, but it's been a long, long time. It actually holds up pretty well -- one of Alexandra's better efforts, I think.

I like the moody intimacy of them alone in the empty house, the dark yard and the quiet and the sense of isolation as though they were the last two people in the world. It's a nice update on the epistolary format, and I can see them letting their guards down on this particular night.

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

I think the sense of isolation is what allowed them to let their guards down and finally admit their feelings, both to themselves and each other. I liked the way they were still talking via their R/Ts while Ray made his way through the house to get to Bodie. And Bodie wrapping him up in an embrace when they are finally in the same place (literally and emotionally.)

Oh -and I love your Icon!

[jgraeme2007.livejournal.com]

I think the sense of isolation is what allowed them to let their guards down and finally admit their feelings, both to themselves and each other. I liked the way they were still talking via their R/Ts while Ray made his way through the house to get to Bodie. And Bodie wrapping him up in an embrace when they are finally in the same place (literally and emotionally.)

Yes. Those are nice touches.

Oh -and I love your Icon!

Thank you! A friend made it. I'm hopeless at these things.

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

That was a wonderful story to start us off!! I didn't know it and it has gone straight into my all-time-favourites file. Thank you!!

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it!