Reading Room Review
Sep. 12th, 2010 10:52 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
merentha13.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ci5hqTitle: Calibre
Author: JGL
Link to story or zine/ProsLib info: Never Far Apart 2 - not online
Pairing: B/D
Further story information found at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
prosficspoilers
Here is my first attempt at reviewing a “Professional” story….or any fan fiction for that matter. I should note here that I am new to all things Bodie & Doyle and have only seen a few clips of the actual show on You-tube. I have, however, read lots of the fan fiction, so I’m not entirely clear on what is “canon” and what is “fanon”. The story I’ve chosen to review/recommend is “Calibre” by JGL. It takes place after Ray’s shooting. It’s a story of friendship, support, a first time story. But it is also so much more due to JGL’s amazing ability to set a scene, a mood, describe a character’s emotions with just a few well chosen words. After Bodie brings Ray home from hospital they try to settle into a comfortable friendship, both fighting the desire to make their relationship into more than that. The angst here is well portrayed. They do make into bed and then things go sour. I won’t spoil the story, but situations arise that lead Bodie to question what he knows and believes about Ray, that let him believe that Ray is a traitor to both CI5 and Bodie. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with how easily/quickly Bodie convinced himself of Ray’s betrayal, but I’ll come back to that.
The opening for this story pulled me in immediately and demonstrates JGL’s talent at setting a mood. “It was dark in the flat. The dark smelled of blood and sour milk…moonlight lanced through the parted curtains, limned the faces of the toy soldiers..spotlighting the scattered groceries, the spill of soil and broken plants, the ominous black stains on the white rug”. The scene reflects Bodies’ dark mood as he wanders through Ray’s flat after the shooting that may cost Ray his life; his fear and his anger (“could shoot you myself, Doyle, forgetting to lock the goddamn door like some raw, wet behind the ears recruit”). The darkness theme is repeated throughout the story and echoes the characters moods, their mental state. The next time it is used it reflects Ray’s unease. He wakes from a bad dream after getting out of the hospital. “The darkness was complete and bewildering, the silence laden…he felt almost lost”. And that is what he’s feeling when awake as well, unsure of the feelings he’s developing for his partner. Another of Ray’s nightmares, after Bodie had refused to come to bed with him, does bring Bodie into his bed. They make love and Ray thinks maybe it is not over between them. “For a moment they clung together. Hanging on for dear life. Like drowning men in a high sea...and suddenly it didn’t feel like it was over after all.” But afterwards “it was still dark”. In that darkness Ray realized that Bodie no longer trusts him, “knew the exact moment he (Ray) realized the truth, could feel his shock from across the room…Doyle’s silhouette was moving toward him like a sleepwalker. ‘I…you…don’t trust me. You think…’ he sounded winded”. JGL gives hope and then takes it away. The emotional tides are expertly drawn in and out. The imagery in these scenes make the reader feel the fear and unease of the characters.
JGL excels at painting images with a minimum mount of words. (read the story T1 for a very moving example of the author’s talent at this). JGL doesn’t need flowery, over the top descriptions to create the perfect settings. I know I seem to be going on about this – but I can’t help myself. Here are a few more examples: Ray’s loneliness “After a month of hospital life the stillness seemed profound, even unsettling. The clock on the mantle seemed unreasonable loud, Bodie’s footsteps overhead seemed unreasonably far away:, a sense of ecstasy “pressure was building quite unbearably inside him – like giddy laughter, like a kid on a swing, lifting higher and higher toward the sky, over the tree tops, sailing up, giggling…”; a sense of fright “it was like running up the stairs in the dark.. and then suddenly….stepping into empty air”; the ending of so much more than friendship “and the last hopeful lamp in Bodie’s heart winked out. Emotional blackout. Let the bombs fall where they may, he didn’t live there anymore.” The character’s feelings are set without an over abundance of dialog, without beating the reader over the head. It’s clean, neat, precise and very effective.
But I don’t want to leave the impression that the story is all darkness. JGL uses humor in just the right amounts and places to bring his characters and readers ease and hope. Several lines brought immediate smiles. One had Bodie helping Ray get into his pyjamas and “Doyle jumped – his cock did not – and all three of them politely ignored the moment”. There is a bathtub incident, where Ray, on his own, can’t get out of the tub. Bodie finally rescues him and reminds Ray after getting Ray settled with breakfast that there is “no swimming for half an hour after eating”. Bodie thinks of one of the three men trying to shoot Doyle as “bachelor number two”. Even in the tense emotional and action scenes that little bit of humor is a balm to the reader. Humor is effectively used in this story. Other examples show up in JGL’s descriptions of Doyle, “he’d probably argue with himself when there was no one else around”, “art classes and dance lessons…depressing books. Doyle was…well, a little sensitive”, “all those ideas whizzing around in that untidy head”, “crosser than a wet cat”, “Doyle flirted as naturally as he breathed. Male, female, animal, mineral, vegetable, signpost, bedpost…”, “sprawled like an evil muppet”. Love them all!
Another theme presented is summed up in a line quoted from the Desiderata. “Many a fear is born of loneliness and fatigue”. I think most of what happens in this story stems from both characters fear of being alone and being rejected. That they are both fatigued is not in question. There are many times reading “Calibre” that I just want to reach into the words and shake their stubborn heads right off the pages. They both care deeply for each other and they’re both afraid to admit it. They are lonely men clinging to the friendship they have, afraid that admitting the depth of their feelings will ruin the companionship they do have. These guys are super agents and skilled detectives? How is it that they can’t see or acknowledge the clues right in front of them? Their heart’s desire is right there and they are afraid to recognize it. Doyle does fess-up when it looks like he’s lost Bodie, “Alright, I was afraid. I didn’t think you’d understand…and I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t. You mean too much to me. The friendship. The partnership. All of it. Bodie wanted to refute this, but how could he when it was exactly the way he felt about Doyle?” I just want to scream at them!
The only issue I had with this story, (and I know – it is what made the story), was how Bodie could believe that Ray would betray him. These two men love each other; live in each other’s pockets, even if they won’t admit it. Evidence of Ray’s betrayal is presented; pictures, mysterious phone calls, old letters, the books Doyle reads. The section of the story where Bodie learns of the betrayal, debates its truth in his own mind, runs into Ray who immediately knows that something is wrong is very powerfully and emotionally written. But I don’t understand why Bodie believed it all. I found Ray echoing my own feelings and the pain. I felt the tears when Ray finally accepts that Bodie believes the worst of him, “he (Ray) blinked up at Bodie and there was no defense there. ‘How can you believe it Bodie? How could you do this? Doyle asked bewilderedly. I may not like that Bodie can believe it, but it makes for a terrific, well written story.
JGLs story is an emotional rollercoaster, a thrill ride of the highest caliber(*), looping through hurt, pain, despair, betrayal, and forgiveness, hope, healing and love. And I thoroughly enjoyed the ride!
(* sorry, I couldn't stop myself *g *)
(and sorry #2 - I tried to use the lj-cut but kept getting errors....
Author: JGL
Link to story or zine/ProsLib info: Never Far Apart 2 - not online
Pairing: B/D
Further story information found at
prosficspoilersHere is my first attempt at reviewing a “Professional” story….or any fan fiction for that matter. I should note here that I am new to all things Bodie & Doyle and have only seen a few clips of the actual show on You-tube. I have, however, read lots of the fan fiction, so I’m not entirely clear on what is “canon” and what is “fanon”. The story I’ve chosen to review/recommend is “Calibre” by JGL. It takes place after Ray’s shooting. It’s a story of friendship, support, a first time story. But it is also so much more due to JGL’s amazing ability to set a scene, a mood, describe a character’s emotions with just a few well chosen words. After Bodie brings Ray home from hospital they try to settle into a comfortable friendship, both fighting the desire to make their relationship into more than that. The angst here is well portrayed. They do make into bed and then things go sour. I won’t spoil the story, but situations arise that lead Bodie to question what he knows and believes about Ray, that let him believe that Ray is a traitor to both CI5 and Bodie. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with how easily/quickly Bodie convinced himself of Ray’s betrayal, but I’ll come back to that.
The opening for this story pulled me in immediately and demonstrates JGL’s talent at setting a mood. “It was dark in the flat. The dark smelled of blood and sour milk…moonlight lanced through the parted curtains, limned the faces of the toy soldiers..spotlighting the scattered groceries, the spill of soil and broken plants, the ominous black stains on the white rug”. The scene reflects Bodies’ dark mood as he wanders through Ray’s flat after the shooting that may cost Ray his life; his fear and his anger (“could shoot you myself, Doyle, forgetting to lock the goddamn door like some raw, wet behind the ears recruit”). The darkness theme is repeated throughout the story and echoes the characters moods, their mental state. The next time it is used it reflects Ray’s unease. He wakes from a bad dream after getting out of the hospital. “The darkness was complete and bewildering, the silence laden…he felt almost lost”. And that is what he’s feeling when awake as well, unsure of the feelings he’s developing for his partner. Another of Ray’s nightmares, after Bodie had refused to come to bed with him, does bring Bodie into his bed. They make love and Ray thinks maybe it is not over between them. “For a moment they clung together. Hanging on for dear life. Like drowning men in a high sea...and suddenly it didn’t feel like it was over after all.” But afterwards “it was still dark”. In that darkness Ray realized that Bodie no longer trusts him, “knew the exact moment he (Ray) realized the truth, could feel his shock from across the room…Doyle’s silhouette was moving toward him like a sleepwalker. ‘I…you…don’t trust me. You think…’ he sounded winded”. JGL gives hope and then takes it away. The emotional tides are expertly drawn in and out. The imagery in these scenes make the reader feel the fear and unease of the characters.
JGL excels at painting images with a minimum mount of words. (read the story T1 for a very moving example of the author’s talent at this). JGL doesn’t need flowery, over the top descriptions to create the perfect settings. I know I seem to be going on about this – but I can’t help myself. Here are a few more examples: Ray’s loneliness “After a month of hospital life the stillness seemed profound, even unsettling. The clock on the mantle seemed unreasonable loud, Bodie’s footsteps overhead seemed unreasonably far away:, a sense of ecstasy “pressure was building quite unbearably inside him – like giddy laughter, like a kid on a swing, lifting higher and higher toward the sky, over the tree tops, sailing up, giggling…”; a sense of fright “it was like running up the stairs in the dark.. and then suddenly….stepping into empty air”; the ending of so much more than friendship “and the last hopeful lamp in Bodie’s heart winked out. Emotional blackout. Let the bombs fall where they may, he didn’t live there anymore.” The character’s feelings are set without an over abundance of dialog, without beating the reader over the head. It’s clean, neat, precise and very effective.
But I don’t want to leave the impression that the story is all darkness. JGL uses humor in just the right amounts and places to bring his characters and readers ease and hope. Several lines brought immediate smiles. One had Bodie helping Ray get into his pyjamas and “Doyle jumped – his cock did not – and all three of them politely ignored the moment”. There is a bathtub incident, where Ray, on his own, can’t get out of the tub. Bodie finally rescues him and reminds Ray after getting Ray settled with breakfast that there is “no swimming for half an hour after eating”. Bodie thinks of one of the three men trying to shoot Doyle as “bachelor number two”. Even in the tense emotional and action scenes that little bit of humor is a balm to the reader. Humor is effectively used in this story. Other examples show up in JGL’s descriptions of Doyle, “he’d probably argue with himself when there was no one else around”, “art classes and dance lessons…depressing books. Doyle was…well, a little sensitive”, “all those ideas whizzing around in that untidy head”, “crosser than a wet cat”, “Doyle flirted as naturally as he breathed. Male, female, animal, mineral, vegetable, signpost, bedpost…”, “sprawled like an evil muppet”. Love them all!
Another theme presented is summed up in a line quoted from the Desiderata. “Many a fear is born of loneliness and fatigue”. I think most of what happens in this story stems from both characters fear of being alone and being rejected. That they are both fatigued is not in question. There are many times reading “Calibre” that I just want to reach into the words and shake their stubborn heads right off the pages. They both care deeply for each other and they’re both afraid to admit it. They are lonely men clinging to the friendship they have, afraid that admitting the depth of their feelings will ruin the companionship they do have. These guys are super agents and skilled detectives? How is it that they can’t see or acknowledge the clues right in front of them? Their heart’s desire is right there and they are afraid to recognize it. Doyle does fess-up when it looks like he’s lost Bodie, “Alright, I was afraid. I didn’t think you’d understand…and I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t. You mean too much to me. The friendship. The partnership. All of it. Bodie wanted to refute this, but how could he when it was exactly the way he felt about Doyle?” I just want to scream at them!
The only issue I had with this story, (and I know – it is what made the story), was how Bodie could believe that Ray would betray him. These two men love each other; live in each other’s pockets, even if they won’t admit it. Evidence of Ray’s betrayal is presented; pictures, mysterious phone calls, old letters, the books Doyle reads. The section of the story where Bodie learns of the betrayal, debates its truth in his own mind, runs into Ray who immediately knows that something is wrong is very powerfully and emotionally written. But I don’t understand why Bodie believed it all. I found Ray echoing my own feelings and the pain. I felt the tears when Ray finally accepts that Bodie believes the worst of him, “he (Ray) blinked up at Bodie and there was no defense there. ‘How can you believe it Bodie? How could you do this? Doyle asked bewilderedly. I may not like that Bodie can believe it, but it makes for a terrific, well written story.
JGLs story is an emotional rollercoaster, a thrill ride of the highest caliber(*), looping through hurt, pain, despair, betrayal, and forgiveness, hope, healing and love. And I thoroughly enjoyed the ride!
(* sorry, I couldn't stop myself *g *)
(and sorry #2 - I tried to use the lj-cut but kept getting errors....
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 04:48 pm (UTC)It's been ages since I read this story, and unfortunately it's not a zine that I own, so I can't remember much about it right now. I'm crossing my fingers that JGL might put her two zine stories up on the web one of these days...
The betrayal question is interesting - I don't have any problem with the lads being unsure and doubting of each other, cos I do see that as a very human thing, and they both seem the type to ask questions rather than obey unthinkingly. There's canon for it too, on both sides, in the eps Fall Girl and Involvement. What I like about Pros is how realistic it is - all the grey shades of the world are there, the lads don't always win the fight and neither does Cowley or CI5 - sometimes the bad guys get away, sometimes the lads feel betrayed and upset and guilty and unsure... But you said you'd only seen a few clips - you should totally try and get hold of the episodes themselves, cos the lads are fallible and human and gorgeous with it - well worth watching... *g*
I shall look forward to your next review, and welcome!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 05:25 pm (UTC)I really liked your review, it's very detailed and in-depth without spoiling the story for people who haven't read it. I also liked how you talked about different aspects of the story, and motifs.
One can tell you've thoroughly read "Calibre" and put a lot of thought into this review. Well done, and thank you!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 07:36 pm (UTC)Thanks for the kind words! JGL has so many references in the story talking about trust, that it was hard for me to believe it would happen so "easily" - not a good word choice but I can't come up with anything else just now. "Trust. Meant something that did. Best partner Bodie ever had...." Bodie's losing the trust made the story (and I love angst - the more the better) I just didn't like the way he accepted what Cowly told him so easily - without actually talking to Ray (but the not talking is also a common theme in most of the Pro's fanfiction I've read!.)
review of Calibre
Date: 2010-09-12 05:45 pm (UTC)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great review - makes me want to read the story, even though I suspect I'd choke on exactly the same thing you did: Bodie believing too easily in Ray's betrayal. Though I know that can work, especially if the author manages to make this readiness spring partly from Bodie's own doubts.
It's not available online, is it?
Ooh, I see you're a "caliber" person rather than a "calibre" one *g* ::waves across Pond::
Re: review of Calibre
Date: 2010-09-12 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 07:13 pm (UTC)The section of the story where Bodie learns of the betrayal, debates its truth in his own mind, runs into Ray who immediately knows that something is wrong is very powerfully and emotionally written
I agree. I felt so comfortable and relaxed with the mature and sure-footed writing that at times it almost felt like a second skin.
The only issue I had with this story, (and I know – it is what made the story), was how Bodie could believe that Ray would betray him. These two men love each other; live in each other’s pockets, even if they won’t admit it. Evidence of Ray’s betrayal is presented; pictures, mysterious phone calls, old letters, the books Doyle reads.
Yeah.....I remember wondering the same thing and thinking that there must be a valid reason because of my faith in the consistency of the story and, thinking about it more now [because you’ve concentrated my mind(!)] the only thing I've come up with is that for Bodie, perhaps believing in Doyle has to involve *not* believing in Cowley (and the undeniable evidence presented to him such as the photos) and I’m wondering if soldier-Bodie is almost programmed to believe in Cowley as he represents the kind of authority he’s used to and has faith in? And maybe Bodie, in his jaundiced world view, almost expects love not to last, not to be reliable - maybe not being in love and not having the responsibility of being in love is the easier option for him? And not being truly happy? Because if you think you've attained the ultimate then that is it ...what else is there? Doyle himself seems to think that their affair was destined not to last long:
Because there had never been any question it was going to end this way. Given Bodie's track record with relationships. Very short attention span when it came to affairs of the heart, old Bodie.
He'd thought they'd have a longer run, though.
Anyway, just a thought. Thanks so much for this reminder!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 07:42 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for the kind review!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 07:46 pm (UTC)Do you remember where that reference is please?
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 08:12 pm (UTC)Sad that Bodie can trust Doyle with his life but not his heart.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 08:31 pm (UTC)"Wasn't his (Bodie) job to get at the truth, just to carry out orders.
And I'm sure this is supported in canon in at least one episode (Need To Know) when Bodie says something along the lines ours not to reason why and Doyle's very Doyle-like, questioning response *is* to question things.
Cheers!