ci5hq | The Reading Room -- Fic: Monopoly by Kitty Fisher

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The Reading Room -- Fic: Monopoly by Kitty Fisher

http://www.thecircuitarchive.com/tca/archive/5/monopoly.html
or
http://hatstand.slashcity.net/kitty/mono.html

Monopoly by Kitty Fisher hits all of my buttons. It's what I consider gritty BDSM but gritty really makes me happy in this case. I will read almost any BDSM story that is fully consensual and I can take a lot of rough sex between two men. This story gives us two hard men fucking to within an inch of their lives. I fully realise that this isn't a story for everybody. It's definitely an acquired taste. *g*

I think the first few paragraphs nicely set up the scene. It's not love, we're led to believe from the lead in paragraphs. It's dirty sex between two men.

Doyle is waiting:

Doyle straightened, listening to almost silence as the TV clicked off. Without the brash noise the alley seemed to close in. Shadowy, like the molasses his nan had used to make ginger cake; thickly cloying, shiny, sweeter for his own anticipation of the final result. He licked his lips, and plucked at the untucked hem of his T-shirt, wafting air. He was lightly dressed. No gun. No jacket. Nothing to get in the way... of whatever was coming. Whatever Bodie brought. Wanted. Gave...

This paragraph is just about perfect to me. I really like the description of what Doyle thinks of Bodie's confidence anywhere :

A shadow-shift at the edge of his perception, and a figure approached from his left. Unexpected when the road was a dog-leg of alley to his right. Left was... what? Nothing. Something. Somewhere Bodie knew. But then Bodie was at home in the strangest of places. In back alleys. In the secret hours between midnight and dawn.

And this description of Bodie makes me all tingly:

Black polo neck under a black biker's jacket, scratched and dulled with age, black jeans, boots. Unsmiling, his face hollowed and sharpened in the muted streetlight. Doyle knew -- just from the tension in the wide shoulders -- that Bodie was hard. Needy. He felt his sphincter tighten, felt his balls crawl upwards as his cock surged. Hungry Bodie. A dark night and a secluded alleyway. And games as expiation, as benediction. The slow twist of time stopped, here.

The game starts and we're treated to lines like this:

Not fighting. Lost on the cusp of the illusion of helplessness, the reality of submission, Doyle shivered. Hot night air on his skin. Nipples hard, sensitised beyond belief. When Bodie smiled Doyle arched into him, whimpering helplessly, saliva wet on his wide-stretched lips, cooling on his chin.

And just so further emphasise that this is consensual, we're told:

Jesus, he wanted this so much. Wanted Bodie. To fuck him. Hard. Though the tongue was making thought impossible. Making everything impossible, except simple need. Enough to make him sob. Breathlessly, wordlessly begging, the tension rippling in his arms as he held on, stretched and bent, held just as Bodie wanted him.

There is pain and pleasure, and hard fucking and more pain, until Doyle gets what he wants. Until we find out why they picked this night, this alley, this time together to celebrate:

Looking up he (Doyle) caught a smile that showed a flash of white teeth. "I'm alive. I didn't die."

"Just as well." Doyle slid his face between the jacket and Bodie's neck. Snuffled skin. Sweat and animal and scent. Life in the pulse of blood. "Don't scare me, cretin. It's not good for me."

And then the lads toddle off together to head to home and another sort of game and maybe Doyle will now get his turn.

So... Rough story, pain mixed with pleasure, some straight-out painful moments, and by the end, trust and love. I've read almost every story in my three fandoms classified as BDSM and I consider this one the best short story in the genre. I like the timing of the sentences and the way the author constructed them. I like the "textures" we're given of the entire experience: the alley and the clothes and the sex, their reactions and feelings. And for me the complete trust we know exists between Bodie and Doyle is clearly conveyed.

Everything in this story is so easily pictured here for me, so them for me that every time I read it, I'm left with a good feeling that they'll always be there for each other and always cover each other's backs -- in more ways than one.

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Thanks for your comments on this story. And a big thank you for the story link. I read original fic and I'm definitely checking this out. I'm always looking for good stuff.

I'll rec Hot Cargo for you in return. *g*

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/novels.htm

I was SURE that you would have read TAS already. You are going to love it - and we won't be seeing you for the next few weeks, because there are many stories - I think there are three novels, a few novellas, and a series of short stories. Be sure to read them in order - the development of Toreth and Warrick's relationship has to be savored.

Manna is an incredibly talented writer. Although this is all being published, she promised her fans she'd leave it on line, and her publisher has - surprisingly IMO - let her keep that promise. It's one amazing, erotic, fabulous ride, from beginning to end. And the novels (first three are out, 4th coming out in May) have some additional stories that make them worth buying. I'm already on my second copies, because I lent the first ones I bought to friends, who lent them to friends, and I'll never get them back. I'm envious of anyone who is just starting this series for the first time, although I've reread them many times. Can't wait to hear what you think.

Yay!! another TAS fan!!

I second everything blkandwhtcat said about it.
I found it compelling (even if some of the things were a little too rich for my blood..)because of the characters development, the understanding WHY they did what they did, and the look Mana manages to give us into their psyche (especially Toreth..)

Also, if you like original slash, and haven't found "Special Forces" yet, I highly recommend it. I think it is utterly BRILLIANT. Well written, well thought-out, well researched, gritty, realistic, painful, and hot as hell. Hands down THE BEST original slash I have read to date. Seriously.

http://www.marquesate.org/special-forces-soldiers.html

Thanks for the rec! I'm always looking for good original m/m fic.

Thanks for the rec. Looks interesting, I look forward to give it a try. (Although the slow reader I am it can take a while.)
I had a short look into the Administration series and it looks interesting but somehow I wasn't totally hooked. Hm, maybe I should give it a try again.

You really should. The first story, Mind Fuck, is important, because it tells us about the characters and some of their background information, and introduces us to the world they live in. It's also a great murder mystery, which makes it even more fun. However, the real "magic" of the story starts in Pancakes, because that's when we see the relationship between Toreth and Warrick unexpectedly change, thus beginning its development througout the story, one small but fascinating step at a time.

As you move on, you'll see words and images repeated, in new scenes, with new (or deeper) meanings, which is one of the more delightful things about the story. While I love the entire series, my favorite of all the stories is First Against the Wall, but you can't just read it without having read all that come before, or it wouldn't have the same meaning, or the same impact. It's really a brilliant story. There are a lot of things you'll miss the first time you read it, and it seems something new is revealed on each reread - sometimes just little things, but still things that make you realize the story is even more perfect than you first thought.

I've only rec'd it to one person who didn't like it, and that person mostly likes stories in which the m/m characters are very domesticated, and hates BDSM. I didn't know that at the time I rec'd it, though. Everyone else has absolutely loved it.

Thank you again for the rec and for the overview.
BDSM is fine, I've got no problems with it.

I read the first chapter and scanned a few others. I don't think this is well written. There are a lot of grammatical mistakes, and I don't find the dialogue convincing either. Assuming the violence and rape (which are not BDSM) have some actual purpose, which isn't apparent in the first few chapters, I don't think this is even in the same UNIVERSE as TAS when it comes to good writing and a compelling story.

TAS is brilliantly written, with recurring words and images that develop deeper meanings as they reappear throughout the series, and characters and relationships that are developed with great care, and with an excellent understanding of the psychology behind their personalities, motivations, and sexual desires. The sex is never gratuitous (even the story named "Gratuitious Kink" tells us a lot about Toreth, Warrick and their relationship), and more importantly, the violence is never gratuitous. Every word, every chapter, and every scene has a purpose, and further develops the characters while it moves the story forward. It's brilliant.

Edited 2009-04-20 23:09 (UTC)

"Special Forces" isn't BDSM. Sorry! I should have mentioned it in my earlier post.

The SF first chapter (and rape scene) actually made me decide to give the story a miss, at first. I really didn't see how you could enjoy a story that starts like THAT.
But something about the characters stayed with me, so a week later I came back and read the second chapter, and was hooked.

As to grammatical error – English is my second language, so there's every possibility I don’t notice things you native speakers notice, or that they don't grate on me that much.

Actually, I think SF is really, really well written (but, of course, to each his own, and that's just my VERY humble opinion). What stands out, for me, in SF, is that , several chapters along, you (well, some readers..) get emotionally invested in the story. After a while you forget these are fictional characters, and begin to feel for them or about them. That, for me, is good writing.. again- just my two cents worth!!
I found the character development very convincing (not that easy when one of the protagonists commits a horrible act of rape in the first chapter… ) , and the plot very well thought out & very well researched. I actually got to talk to a Rusian guy who served in Afghanistan, and was amazed as to how many details, as depicted in SF, were spot-on (didn't ask him about the barracks male – relationships, though… )

There's also an internet community devoted to SF, and from the responses there I guess I'm not the only one who feels that way, but again- tastes and opinion vary, and that's really OK!.

As to TAS - I'm a fan too, and love its' dark, futuristic feal, but I can't say I found it better than SF, or flawless.

Again – sorry for not including the proper warning about the SF rec, and am off to edit and rectify that, if the internet will let me !!

Um... can anyone tell me how to edit a previous post?

My two left hands strike again...

I started to read "Special Forces", and didn't get very far. There was no connection with the characters (for me) to make me read past the initial chapter. On the other hand I realised that this author also wrote "Her Majesty's Men", which used to be freely accessible on the web. I remember enjoying what I did read of that story, and becoming quite caught up in the lives of the characters - something I can't imagine happening with SF.

I have some idea of who the author is IRL and if I'm right she's not a native English speaker.

See, sometimes ignorance is bliss… LOL

I'd really like to know whether I enjoyed SF because I don't notice glaring mistakes that would put a native English speaker right off…

There used to be a busy internet community devoted to SF.
I thought I'd drop in, to see if the topic has ever been discussed, but it seems that the co-authors had a falling-out, for some reason, and there are now *two* separate communities, one per each author…

I guess I could still ask, but I have a feeling I'll be lynched for my troubles...

Sorry I was late to read this very interesting conversation. It is so exciting to suddenly find recs for three substantial m/m books all at once.

Last night I had a look at SF chapter 1, because that was the easiest, also I do have a kink for men in camo fatigues, and I don't mind reading about rape. Anyway, having read it, I thought others were excessively critical of the writing in SF, and I am a native English speaker who works as a proofreader, so I really do notice (and hate) errors of grammar and punctuation. I thought the language was intended to be direct and spare, to reflect the characters' point of view. They are not the type of men to think poetic thoughts about the beauty of the landscape. There wasn't much dialogue, and what there was had to reflect the fact that Dan and the 2 Russians only knew a little of each others' languages, so again they weren't going to have long and eloquent conversations.

I am looking forward to reading some more, and I hope Dan reappears.

Thank you very much for this rec!

Thanks for commenting.

As to SF – personally, if I would have to describe the writing, I would describe it as simple, aggressive and "in your face", which, seems to suit this story just fine, but, again.. just my 2 cents worth.

It's an interesting question – what makes a story well-written and stand apart from the rest.. Certainly, in SF, its' not the style of writing (e.g. - there are writers who can paint beautiful pictures with their prose. Quite a few in the Pros fandom, such as M. Fae Glasgo, Angelfish ( I know she's not everybody's cup of tea, but I think she's fabulous ), or the one who wrote "The high up and alive fruit". Can remember who it is at the moment. There are many others, of course). That's not the case with SF.

In SF - IMVHO - it's the way the characters become (to me, at least) "actual people" after a while . And I think that, if a writer can make you care deeply about a fictional character, be it love them or hate them with a passion , they are doing something right…

As yes, I can assure you, that to Vadim's great discomfort, Dan will certainly be reappearing.. :-)

Also, I'm always looking for good original slash fics (there aren't that many I could find), and am going to try the other recced fic, if it's online

Very true about the idea of a well written story. It's different for each of us, of course. And I totally agree that a writer like Angelfish and Slantedlight (who wrote the story you mentioned) are beautiful writers. They suck you right into a story with their wonderful style. And there are those concise writers who also have a way with their words who do the same. It all depends on the story, how it's presented that works for me. Even my favourite writers sometimes have a miss. Doesn't make it badly written or whatever, just not to taste.

And it depends on moods too. Sometimes one wants something that's descriptive and beautiful, giving one a visual and physical setting that's as wonderful as the boys are. Other times gritty and hard (if that's how one describes a tight, sparse story) is exactly what one wants.

I'll be trying both of the series mentioned as time permits.

Hi all, I am also a fan of SF. I admit to not having read many of the works you have mentioned above, but I would like to add my 2 cents about SF. IMHO, if you haven't read past the first few chapters you haven't given the book its due. As ronitr said the characters grow, become real, and as a reader you become invested in their lives. The book spans a 25 year time frame,and that's a long time to spend with characters. Throughout the book you meet others that become a living circle of friends that help them through many trials and tribulations. SF is about soldiers and I believe the authors strove for a sense of realism, having interviewed soldiers and done countless research into soldiers lives while on mission. As to what you might refer to grammar mistakes, if you are referring to speech of the characters, remember some are not native speakers themselves. The style the authors write in is not meant to be easy prose. It is meant to drive action and suspense with short sentences and military speak. Having been a literature major at university, I have high standards and did not have a problem with their style of writing or grammar usage. Open yourselves to the story, give it a chance and become a junkie like the rest of SF fans. There are chapters that will make you cry, shout for joy, or just shake with emotion. I encourage you to give it a chance. If its not for you, all is well and no hard feelings.

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The Reading Room -- Fic: Monopoly by Kitty Fisher

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the Administration.

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special forces

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