I think there's a large element of, hmm, theater in a lot of BDSM play: props, costumes, scenery all contribute to the overall eroticism of the scene. Any one element on its own (or heck, in context, depending on one's own predilections) can *definitely* seem silly. That's not necessarily a bad thing! It's okay to find some of it a bit silly, even while it's a turn-on, or whatever. It's not Deadly Serious!
You see I find that kind of thing just plain boring, almost on a par with wearing party hats and bursting balloons – it’s just a big turn off for me! And when reading a story, if it starts to go down the 'master' and 'slave' route then I'm off as it just doesn’t interest me. I’m not opposed to it, or even disapproving of it, I'm happy for others to enjoy it but the whole dressing up as nazis, school girls, whipping etc doesn’t do a thing for me.
But from what you say the attraction of S&M does seem to lie largely in the inequality of power – even if it’s exchanged and temporary - and on one person at any given time having power over another? If so, then I think I’m disappointed that Bodie and Doyle need to experience that kind of thing vis a vis each other because isn’t it all around us and something we’re all striving to escape?. An imbalance of power within a relationship is nothing new, all of us throughout our lives and throughout our daily lives are exposed to this, whether it be child/parent/teacher/pupil blah blah so it’s nothing new or different and I really want them to be different - I thought they were - and to get off on something different to that which is, arguably, no more than an extension of patriarchy, not to mention the hundreds of other inequalities within society. I want them to have great sex (and to find happiness) in other, less negative ways i.e. without the need to make each other suffer or to impose control.
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You see I find that kind of thing just plain boring, almost on a par with wearing party hats and bursting balloons – it’s just a big turn off for me! And when reading a story, if it starts to go down the 'master' and 'slave' route then I'm off as it just doesn’t interest me. I’m not opposed to it, or even disapproving of it, I'm happy for others to enjoy it but the whole dressing up as nazis, school girls, whipping etc doesn’t do a thing for me.
But from what you say the attraction of S&M does seem to lie largely in the inequality of power – even if it’s exchanged and temporary - and on one person at any given time having power over another? If so, then I think I’m disappointed that Bodie and Doyle need to experience that kind of thing vis a vis each other because isn’t it all around us and something we’re all striving to escape?. An imbalance of power within a relationship is nothing new, all of us throughout our lives and throughout our daily lives are exposed to this, whether it be child/parent/teacher/pupil blah blah so it’s nothing new or different and I really want them to be different - I thought they were - and to get off on something different to that which is, arguably, no more than an extension of patriarchy, not to mention the hundreds of other inequalities within society. I want them to have great sex (and to find happiness) in other, less negative ways i.e. without the need to make each other suffer or to impose control.
Thanks for this!