Late, late, late to the party, and I adore this story! It was one of the first Pros stories I read, since Kitty Fisher was my original introduction to Pros fandom and slash (!) and it doesn't seem to matter how many times I read it, it's wonderful...
I love the way it starts - the author slows down time so that we're right with Doyle for every breath, really bringing us into the story, the place, the atmosphere. I can feel not just the crumbling brickwork, but London itself, with all it's history and its future (the holidaymakers leaving on the jet) and then perfectly what is now for Doyle - him and Bodie, there in the alley. I'm sure I actually find myself breathing more slowly as I read, more deeply in time with the rhythm of the words - right there with Doyle. And we stay with him all the way too, because everything's so perfectly described - not just what's happening, but the way it looks, and sounds and feels - and his anticipation and thoughts. It's all a mish-mash of experience, just as things really are, so it pulls you even further into the story.
And of course the sex between them... *vbg* I think Fisher's done a brilliant job of showing what BDSM is - it's not pain and humiliation at all, it's what's behind that that's important. Doyle feels pain from the gag and the nipple clamps, but he wants to feel the pain because it means something to him - it means that he's giving himself to Bodie totally. When they risk their lives for each other, they're not really doing it for each other, they're doing it for Cowley, for CI5, for "the greater good". Bodie risked his life and was nearly killed today - now Doyle's giving him something in return, he's giving his submission, his own promise that Bodie isn't alone in anything, no matter what Bodie wants. It's not conscious, it's something that's coming out in the very basic instinct for sex, but its no less meaningful for all that...
And Bodie - Bodie's reaffirming his own life, that he's not at the mercy of bullets and death (though of course he is), that he has power, he has control, and that power means something because it's shared with someone who knows exactly how he feels about what happens to him every day, exactly what he needs and can give it to him.
I love that everything they are in the job comes out here too - their strength, the way they work together so well, the way their wants and needs fit perfectly. That they're creative and imaginative and can surprise each other - that Doyle is so affected by the idea that Bodie has planned around him, has risked bringing the gag and nipple clamps to work in his pocket, that Bodie doesn't hesitate for a second in knowing that Doyle will accept his need for control, and his inventive ways of making it enjoyable for Doyle too...
Oh, and at the end we see even more how it's not just sex to them at all, it's not just lust and getting off in an alley - they're soft with each other, they're able to deal in just a few words with their real fears because they've tamed them through sex. Bodie knows that what he did nearly got him killed, and he knows how that affected Doyle as well - he knows that he took it out through the sex, but Doyle tells him that's okay as well. And we know that they're equal, that Doyle will get his turn at fucking Bodie, and that they've still got their edge of competition as they wander off talking about Monopoly (which of course takes us back to the history of London, again... *g*). They know that tomorrow things might be different, because that's the job they've chosen for themselves - tomorrow Bodie might be dead, or Doyle and there'll be no more sex-to-make-it-better in the alleyways... Doyle takes his happiness "on the fly" - they're living their lives, and it's a kind of feeling of immortality there too...
And okay, I've rambled on quite enough! *g* Did I mention that I liked it? *vbg*
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I love the way it starts - the author slows down time so that we're right with Doyle for every breath, really bringing us into the story, the place, the atmosphere. I can feel not just the crumbling brickwork, but London itself, with all it's history and its future (the holidaymakers leaving on the jet) and then perfectly what is now for Doyle - him and Bodie, there in the alley. I'm sure I actually find myself breathing more slowly as I read, more deeply in time with the rhythm of the words - right there with Doyle. And we stay with him all the way too, because everything's so perfectly described - not just what's happening, but the way it looks, and sounds and feels - and his anticipation and thoughts. It's all a mish-mash of experience, just as things really are, so it pulls you even further into the story.
And of course the sex between them... *vbg* I think Fisher's done a brilliant job of showing what BDSM is - it's not pain and humiliation at all, it's what's behind that that's important. Doyle feels pain from the gag and the nipple clamps, but he wants to feel the pain because it means something to him - it means that he's giving himself to Bodie totally. When they risk their lives for each other, they're not really doing it for each other, they're doing it for Cowley, for CI5, for "the greater good". Bodie risked his life and was nearly killed today - now Doyle's giving him something in return, he's giving his submission, his own promise that Bodie isn't alone in anything, no matter what Bodie wants. It's not conscious, it's something that's coming out in the very basic instinct for sex, but its no less meaningful for all that...
And Bodie - Bodie's reaffirming his own life, that he's not at the mercy of bullets and death (though of course he is), that he has power, he has control, and that power means something because it's shared with someone who knows exactly how he feels about what happens to him every day, exactly what he needs and can give it to him.
I love that everything they are in the job comes out here too - their strength, the way they work together so well, the way their wants and needs fit perfectly. That they're creative and imaginative and can surprise each other - that Doyle is so affected by the idea that Bodie has planned around him, has risked bringing the gag and nipple clamps to work in his pocket, that Bodie doesn't hesitate for a second in knowing that Doyle will accept his need for control, and his inventive ways of making it enjoyable for Doyle too...
Oh, and at the end we see even more how it's not just sex to them at all, it's not just lust and getting off in an alley - they're soft with each other, they're able to deal in just a few words with their real fears because they've tamed them through sex. Bodie knows that what he did nearly got him killed, and he knows how that affected Doyle as well - he knows that he took it out through the sex, but Doyle tells him that's okay as well. And we know that they're equal, that Doyle will get his turn at fucking Bodie, and that they've still got their edge of competition as they wander off talking about Monopoly (which of course takes us back to the history of London, again... *g*). They know that tomorrow things might be different, because that's the job they've chosen for themselves - tomorrow Bodie might be dead, or Doyle and there'll be no more sex-to-make-it-better in the alleyways... Doyle takes his happiness "on the fly" - they're living their lives, and it's a kind of feeling of immortality there too...
And okay, I've rambled on quite enough! *g* Did I mention that I liked it? *vbg*