Meant to join in last night then got side-tracked offline... But that's given me the chance to read all the fascinating comments first! I wasn't keen on the story the first time I read it and wasn't sure why, but I dutifully re-read it this week. I still wouldn't re-read it other than for discussion purposes but it was interesting to think about the reasons!!
Like one or two others I am put off by the Americanisms. They really throw me out of the story because they prevent me from hearing our Brit lads talking so the banter and the thoughts don't work as well as they should.
Then, like others, I would prefer more 'action' or at least reference to case-work; I don't necessarily want a shoot-out every time but in a story that is quite long and refers to their roles within CI5 quite a lot I would like more 'show' and less 'tell'.
I am irritated by the amount of time devoted to Cowley's manipulations with no conclusion or follow-up. Why don't we get some hint of what he actually wants? Once the sexual relationship is established the rest of the story is abandoned.
There is some nice writing (phrases like 'secret pornographic fantasy' spring to mind and the paint job in the flat is a lovely touch) but things like the use of the torch metaphor and the food/body shape issue strike me as slightly pretentious and not properly followed through.
I have to say that on this second reading the final sex/love scene really appealed, but the story as a whole still leaves me unsatisfied.
Thanks for the rec and the discussion - it's great to mull over stories in this way and find out why they hit the right notes - or don't - with so many of us!
no subject
Like one or two others I am put off by the Americanisms. They really throw me out of the story because they prevent me from hearing our Brit lads talking so the banter and the thoughts don't work as well as they should.
Then, like others, I would prefer more 'action' or at least reference to case-work; I don't necessarily want a shoot-out every time but in a story that is quite long and refers to their roles within CI5 quite a lot I would like more 'show' and less 'tell'.
I am irritated by the amount of time devoted to Cowley's manipulations with no conclusion or follow-up. Why don't we get some hint of what he actually wants? Once the sexual relationship is established the rest of the story is abandoned.
There is some nice writing (phrases like 'secret pornographic fantasy' spring to mind and the paint job in the flat is a lovely touch) but things like the use of the torch metaphor and the food/body shape issue strike me as slightly pretentious and not properly followed through.
I have to say that on this second reading the final sex/love scene really appealed, but the story as a whole still leaves me unsatisfied.
Thanks for the rec and the discussion - it's great to mull over stories in this way and find out why they hit the right notes - or don't - with so many of us!