ext_8846 ([identity profile] gilda-elise.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] ci5hq 2010-02-03 06:40 pm (UTC)


Certainly not, Doyle, I agree! *g* But aside from that unlikely first person bit, I think the rest of the poetic flight is lovely.

It certainly would have worked better if she hadn't written it in the First person.

That intro always makes me smile -- we see similar moments of dangerous fooling in canon -- and the dusty scent of sycamores makes it pop alive.

I guess I'm of the mind that a little of that sort of thing goes a long way. I've noticed that with each successive story she's gotten a little bit more wordy. Granted, they're lovely words, but still, for me, too many. I find myself muttering "Get to the point."

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